Depression means climbing into bed with a bar of chocolate

From a Shiur by Rebbetzin Heller

Depression means climbing into bed with a bar of chocolate.

Bitterness is like drinking some tea that someone put in salt instead of sugar, you would spit it out.

When you face problems that bother you, use the tool of bitterness and not the tool of chocolate(I mean depression).

Shira Smiles on Parshat Vayishlach

From a Shiur by Shira Smiles on Parshat Vayishlach


Kever Rochel represents the place of concealment from Hashem's ultimate goodness. In Kever Rochel even Hashem hides this truth from himself so that he can cry with us. Kever Leah reprsents the place where we can see with clarity that everthing Hashem does is for the good. Our job is to "visit" both. To cry for the Shecinah in Golus, but also to bask in the knowlege that everything is for the best.

Yes we live in a world with pain and tears, but it is also a place of Geulah.

We have to face all of our challenges with this approach.

A person's cure can come from his food.

From "For Today" Nov 30

Chance is the pseudonym of God when He did not want to sign. Anatole France

I was shopping in the market and I gave someone some money and he gave me some Breslov pamphlets. I put them aside to look at, and forgot them. I am lying in bed recovering from the flu and noticed one called "Get Well Soon". It was almost worth being sick just to bring me to read this pamphlet. The following is worth its weight in gold:

page 17- "get well soon"

A person's cure can come from his food. We see this in the verse, "Your food and water will be blessed and Hashem will remove disease from you midst" Ex 23.
When a person prays to Hashem then Hashem gives this person's food curative power so that he is healed and doesn't need any more medicine......
But when a person accustoms himself to pray to God, he can reach the point where he will be cured from disease by bread and water alone, and then all medicine is superfluous. The food he eats may also cure diseases within him of which he is unaware. This is because the power of prayer draws upon a person a special blessing from Hashem, making it unnecessary to rely on man made remedies.

How many people on OA report no longer needing many routine medicines? Is it really just the weight loss, or is it our closer connection to Hashem.

Nobody knows what the door is going to open to tomorrow.

From a Shiur by Rebbetzin Heller
"To Worry or Not to Worry"
from Aish MP3

Rambam says that no one knows what is going to come in with the new day. We would all like to think that our lives will be without challenges and without difficulties. Our live can be lives of Simcha, but nobody has a life without difficulty. So how do we know what will happen when difficulties happen? What determines this is our relationship to the past and the present. You can not get out of your past by yourself. You have to ask Hashem to Help you.

We have to worry if our choices are right. If we make decisions without thinking them through very carefully we are liable to make a mistake.

Another worry that we have to have is are we the person that we are supposed to be. Did we use the potential that Hashem gave us.

Another worry that we have to have is did we cause quarrelling. The reason that we are tempted to start quarrels is our desire for truth. The way to do this is to respect the person if you do not agree with the persons opinion.

The ultimate way of losing our self is to focus on taking not giving. Something like taking a pen from work is worse then stealing something major because we will never do Teshuvah.

The first step in seeing goodness and wholeness is to at least not belittle.

When we confront bad we have to use it to reflect on how to become better and what message is this sending me. Then we have to personalize it.

All of our worries can be contained in one, Golus Haschichnah. The more that our hearts are involved in this worry the less we worry about the rest. We have to be open to wherever Hashem takes us because we never know what is going to help us bring out the best in ourselves. We have to be open to all opportunities.

Lets say you are having a lecture in a half an hour and the chairs did not come. You are beside yourself with worry. Now lets say that there is someone else who is responsible for the chairs, Evelyn. Its not your problem its Evelyn. Make Hashem your Evelyn for all of your problems. They are not your problems, they are Hashem's problem.

One of my biggest fears now is losing my abstinence. Like many others I dream about it all the time. This is a powerful tool for facing that fear, and many others.

"Abraham did not live to fill his stomach-he lived for truth."

From a Shiur on Aish MP3
"Discovering God Beyond Yourself"
by Rav Yitzchack Berkowitz

Rabbi Berkowitz discusses the different ways of accomplishing something. He asks, do you want practicality or do you want truth? He says that sometimes we are so focused on the practical goal that we forget the side benefits that we can get by doing something properly.

We tend to think that the less that we give the more that you have. But that is not what we live for-we live to give, and to connect with Hashem. Abrahams road to truth started with gratitude and selflessness. He taught the world that what is true and what is practical are two different things.

You don't hate yourself for having weakness, don't hate others for it either.

We are so subjective that we can only find truth if we are open ourselves to other's reality. To be sensitive to other people.

There has never been a Gadol B'Yisrael who was not a Gadol in loving his fellow Jew and caring. The road to truth is chesed. The road to God is Bein Adam L'Chaveiro.


There is so much here that applies to so many aspects of the program that I am going to let it speak for itself.

Watch Those Thoughts!

The Nature of Thought

The Baal Shem Tov taught, “A person is where his mind is” (Keter Shem Tov 56). The first thing is to be aware. Cease to take the mind and its designs for granted. It shouldn’t be left alone on “automatic.” Monitor everything that goes through the mind. We see how careful people are to keep their doors locked in order to make sure that no one steals, intrudes, or disturbs their home. How much more so should one keep a lock on the mind to prevent its attention from being stolen away to vanity, to keep bad ideas from intruding, to stop negativity from disturbing it.

From Rabbi Perets Auerbach’s “The Science, Art and Heart of Hitbodedut.” Explantory notes have been omitted from this online version. This work-in-progress may be purchased by contacting the author by email: peretsz@gmail.com. We thank Rabbi Auerbach for permitting us to present this and other excerpts from his writings here.

From the Blog- Solitude

A simple thought-- the more I stay out of the kitchen the better

The Poor Me Syndrome

From an article in the Breslov Israel web site about Reb Shalom Arush's New Book "Chacmot Nashim"

http://www.breslev.co.il/articles/spirituality_and_faith/spiritual_growth/the_“poor_me”_syndrome.aspx?id=14397&language=english


Main issue number one: I was always feeling sorry for myself, and a bit ‘down’. I felt I had good reason to be, because of the issues having more kids, and the social isolation I felt that was causing.

Boy, was I wrong. Rav Arush writes a whole chapter about gratitude, and about how the main thing in life is to be grateful to Hashem for all the blessings He gives us. The trouble is, it’s much easier said than done. I’ve been trying, I really have, to just be grateful. But all my gratitude was always tinged with ‘poor me!’

In the book, Rav Arush suggests keeping a little exercise book, which you write down all the things to be grateful for. I started doing that a few days’ ago, and I’m already up to 150 things – I’ll write more about this another time, as it’s been extremely useful and insightful, and I’m genuinely starting to feel a lot more grateful and happy.


One of the most eye opening things about starting the program was when I realized that a glitch was not just a mistake in the Plan of Eating, but indulding in a session of "poor me" As my sponsor calls it, a pity party.

Parshat Vayetzei -The Greatness of Rochel

From a Shiur by Shira Smiles on Parshat Vayetzei

Rochel gave over the signs to Leah, but she did it in a way that Leah did not even feel the sacrifice that Rochel made. Fourteen years later when Leah said to her, "Its not enough that you took my husband, you also want to take some of my son's Dudaim" Rochel could have said, "your husband, he was mine from the start" but she didn't.

Shira Smiles quotes Rav Pam was asks, "how can Hashem be both chesed and emet, when they seem to be opposite traits?" The answer is that when Hashem wants to do chesed for us but we are not deserving of it he gives us an opportunity to do chesed which makes us deserve what he wants to give us. By keeping quiet when Leah said that, Rochel earned the zechusim to have a child.

When we are facing a very difficult nisayon that makes us feel like eating, we should remember that Hashem is giving us an opportunity to earn Zechusim.

Wake UP!

From a Shiur by Rabbi Lazer Brody "Wake up"

If we do not spend time at the end of each day reviewing our deeds and doing Teshuvah, how will we remember everything that we need to do Teshuvah for on Yom Kippur.

Every thing that we did a Chesbon Hanefesh for at the end of the day, Hashem forgives us and wipes the slate Clean and we do not have to face the consequenses for these actions in the future.

STEP 10:
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

Focus on Your Grateful list

From a Shiur by Rabbi Lazer Brody. "Kosher Humor".

One of the most powerful tools of the Yetzer Harah is to mach you focus on the bad instead of the good. Haman is a perfect example. He was not happy with everything that he had because Mordechai would not bow down to him.

That is why it is so impotant to focus on all of the things that we need to thank Hashem for.

Let go of your expectations-so that you have no resentments

One of my favorite quotes from the big book is:
Let go of your expectations-so that you have no resentments

I find this to be such a powerful thought that I have it hanging on my desk at work.

Today I was listening to a Shiur by Rabbi Lazer Brody, "Emunah with Love" and he said that the best barometer of our emunah is how much hate and resentment we have inside. If we have real emunah we will understand that everything comes from Hashem so that there is nothing to be angry about.

Parshat Toldos-Shira Smiles

From a Shiur by Shira Smiles on Toldos

http://www.naaleh.com/viewclass/2312/single/

Yakov came out holding Esav's heel to teach us that life is about struggle and growth. We have to grasp onto the good in life and hold on and grow. Yakov and Esav were twins, they had the same potential but Yakov didn't let go of growth, and Esav felt that he was "Asui" already made.

If we don't work hard to reach our goals we will not get there.

Don't let difficulty turn you away from something

More from the Shiur by Shira Smiles on Chayei Sara

http://www.naaleh.com/viewclass/2294/single/

When Rivkah went to draw water the water came up to her because of her kedushah. When she went to draw water for the camels, the water did not come up to her and she had to work hard to bring the water up.

We learn from this that sometimes when we do a mitzvah it becomes more difficult, not less. We should not allow this to keep us from completing what we started. We should understand that the difficulty is part of the growth process. Sometimes we are tempted to think that because it is difficult it is not meant to be, but we should not think like this. We have to know to persevere and keep trying and we will get even more reward.

Sometimes when we first start controlling our compulsive eating it is easy, in part because of the excitement of being in control. After awhile it seems to get more difficult, but we should not give up. This is part of the process.

Importance in the details

An interesting exchange of letters to and from Rabbi Lazer Brody about the importance of details. Next time I am putting back 3 grains of barley to make the weight perfect and I wonder about details this is a good thing to keep in mind.

Dear Rabbi,

Why does the Jewish religion seem to fuss over insignificant details? How much matza do we have to eat, which spoon did I use for milk and which for meat, what is the right way to tie my shoelaces? It seems to me that this misses the bigger picture by focusing on tiny trivia. Is this nitpicking what Jews call spirituality? I actually already sent you this question over a week ago and didn't receive a reply. Could it be that you have finally been asked a question that you can't answer?! Signed, Rob

Dear Rob,

I never claimed to have all the answers. There are many questions that are beyond me. But it happens to be that I sent a reply the same day despite the fact that I've been away from home on a rigorous speaking tour in the USA. The fact that you didn't receive it is itself the answer to your question. You see, I sent you a reply, but I wrote your email address leaving out the "dot" before the "com". I figured that you should still receive the email, because after all, it is only one little dot missing. I mean come on, it's not as if I wrote the wrong name or something drastic like that! Would anyone be so nitpicky as to differentiate between "yahoocom" and "yahoo.com"? No, it's not ridiculous. Because the dot is not just a dot. It represents something. That dot has meaning far beyond the pixels on the screen that form it. To me it may seem insignificant, but that is simply due to my ignorance of the ways of the web. All I know is that with the dot, the message gets to the right destination; without it, the message is lost to oblivion.

Torah observance and mitzva fulfillment contain a world of symbolism. And every dot counts. When the mitzvot are performed with precision, a spiritual vibration is emailed throughout the universe, all the way to G-d's inbox. If you want to understand the symbolism of the dot, study cyber tech. If you want to understand the symbolism of Judaism, study Torah. Yours always, LB

Humility is the Key to recieving Torah

From a Shiur by Shira Smiles on Parshas Chayei Sara

http://www.naaleh.com/viewclass/2294/single/

When Eliezer came to look for a wife for Yitschak he brought tremendous riches and he could have been mistaken for Avraham. The first thing he said was, "I am Avrahmam's servant" We learn from this the importance of humility. He does not want praise that is undeserved. He clearly learned this from Avrahm. Rav Lugasi says that if you translate this into action you will have success. If you do not have humility, you will not have humility before Hashem, and you will not be able to grow.

Dealing with Bad Thoughts

From a Shiur by Rebbetzin Heller

http://www.naaleh.com/viewclass/2293/single/

You may not be able to prevent a bad thought from entering your head, you do have the ability to decide if it is going to stay there or not.

Maybe this is why we don't discuss food in meetings.

Histadlus Vs Bitachon

Rabbi Lazer Brody from a Shiur "No Bad in the World"

Before you do something you have to do the best that you can, but after the fact you should see all results, good and bad, as coming from Hashem. Just like milk is Kosher on its own, and meat is also, it is traif if you mix them. You should never mix the two. Before the act you should never say, "It doesn't matter how hard I try because it is up to Hashem".

How hard we try is up to us, if we succeed is up to Hashem.

Another case of my learning matching my OA reading.

The reading in For Today is: I choose things that are lovely to put in my mind.

Last night Rabbi Brody said that the reason that the word B'Simcha (happiness) has the same hebrew letters as the word Machsava (thought)is that your happiness depends on your thoughts.

Filling Yourself with Good

From "BATTLE PLANS"

BY Rebbitzin Heller and Sara Yoheved Rigler
page 42

The Maharal advocates filling the empty space with Torah and with acts of Kindness. How do these vanquish the yetzer Hara?

The Torah offers you goodness. People are mistaken when they think that learning Torah is a matter of acquiring information, like learning chemistry or medieval history. Rather, learning Torah is a process of actually acquiring goodness.

When the urge to eat compulsively comes on us, learning Torah fills us in ways that food can't.

The three second rule

From a Shiur by Rabbi Lazer Brody
Last night in Iselin NJ

When you feel tempted to do something wrong keep in mind that the Yetzer Harah has you in its grip for 3 seconds. Count to 3, visualise the letters of Hashem's name, and you will free yourself from the grip of the Yetzer Harah.

I am really grateful that I got a chance to hear Rabbi Brody live, for more of Rabbi Brody's wisdom go to.

http://lazerbrody.typepad.com/

Sunbeams

All of the pleasures of this world are like sunbeams in a dark room. They may seem solid, but when a person tries to grasp hold of a sunbeam, he finds nothing in his hand. The same is true of all worldly desires.

Rabbe Nachman of Breslov
Sichot Haran #6

We should keep this in mind when food tempts us.

OA Shabbaton

The OA Shabbaton this year is in early January.  For more information listen to the torah 12 steps.

Anyone can do chesed- Rebbetzin Heller

From Torah Anytime --Chesed in Turbulent Times - Rebbetzin Heller

These are not really turbulent times. Our great grandparents didn’t have to worry about going on a diet. We have less then we had, but we still have a lot.

Giving keeps us spiritually alive. It is like oxygen for the soul. Chesed , the Maharal says, is spreading forth of yourself. This means knowing yourself and believing that you have something to give. Chesed means giving what you are, not just what you have. Everybody has the ability to do this.


In OA we talk about service, service is chesed. Sometimes just by being who we are we can influence and do chesed for others.

Repairing our relationships with others - Rabbi Weingberger

http://www.naaleh.com/viewclass/2276/single/

When a person becomes obsessed with their own list of everything that others did wrong, they can argue for “13 gilgulim”. When a person nullifies his own desires and complaints and looks at the source of the relationship. What brought them together in the first place will bring them together again.

In OA we talk about letting go of our resentments, being honest with myself and not blaming others.

Lust as a tool for growth.

Rav Noach Weinberg ztl from a Shiur on Hashem Echad

Hashem told us to love him B'Chol L'vavcha. This means with our lust for bodily pleasures and our desire for meaning. The way to become Godly is to turn our strong bodily lust away from physical desires and to use the power of lust to pursue spiritual good. Rav Weinberg ztl said that the reason that Hashem gave us these strong bodily urges is so that we understand what it means to truly long for something and then we can take these feelings and harness them for good.

Those of us on OA has felt these longings for food and now we are learning to use these desires for good.

The Importance of completing a Mitzvah.

Shira Smiles from a Shiur on "Seeds of Moshiach:Yehudah and Tamar"

http://www.naaleh.com/viewclass/2270/single/

says that when you begin a mitzvah it is as if it is given birth and has malachim of its own. Therefore it is important when you begin a mitzvah to follow though. Of course it is better to try even if you are not sure that you will succeed. The problem that she is warning us against is the person who is always starting things but never follows through.

Now that we have begun to take care of our health, it is very important for us to follow through.

Bitul Torah Keneged Kulam

In a Shiur by Rav Noach Weinberg "Don't let your past weigh you down" he talks about the meaning of Chet (Sin) except that he does not like the translation sin. He says that a Chet is a mistake. We all know that we have to correct a mistake. Rav Weinberg says that we should look at the source of our mistakes and the most important one is Bitul Torah, not occupying ourselves with Torah. He says that every minute of our day can be filled with learning. We can be reviewing the six constant Mitzvot, going over common prayers (like bentching) and thinking about what the words mean, or reviewing what we have learned that day. He says that if we do this we will find ourselves connecting to Hashem on a much deeper lever, we will have much more energy, and it will keep us from making mistakes in the future.

Rav Weinberg says that just like "Talmud Torah Keneged Kulam" learning Torah leads to the other Mitzvot, "Bitul Torah Keneged Kulam" not learning Torah leads to all the other avierot.

If we nurish ourselves with Torah we do not need to stuff ourselves with food.

Examining our needs

From a Shiur by Chevi Garfinkel on Emunah and Bitachon

Every parent loves their child and wants what is best for them no matter what they do, but there are acts that the child can do that brings them closer to the parent or further away.

Hashem loves us more then any parent no matter what we do, but if we want to develop a relationship with Hashem we have to focus on doing acts that bring us closer to Hashem.

As we work the program it is important for us to develop a relationship with Hashem to give us the strength to stay on the program and to grow as a person. We should analyze our actions to make sure that they take us in this direction.

Just like a parent gives a child what they need but not always what they want, Hashem gives us what we need. When we daven in Ashrei that Hashem should open his hand and satisfy the will of every living thing, we are davening that Hashem should satisfy our Neshomah not our bodily desires. The purpose of davening is not to get what we what, but to ask Hashem to help us to accept what we need.

We need to put our focus on needs and not wants.