TIforOA

Sanctify yourself through the permissible... Yevamos 20a

Divrei Torah to provide Chizuk in the struggle to balance spiritual and physical needs.

L'Iluei Nishmas Mirkah Bas Yosef




Friday, December 23, 2011

The message of the dreidel.

A dreidel is only able to turn when the hand on the top spins it and makes it go.  This is like our lives.  Without the hand from above (Hashem) our lives are worthless.

Heard on a Torah Twelve Step meeting from Jenette in Panama.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

I held the Baal Shem Tov's Siddur.


Sometimes you just feel like you have to do something.  This Shabbos when I read about the Auction of Important Judaica at Sotherby's I got it in my head that I had to see it.  I couldn't find someone to go with me so I hoped into my car and went by myself.  One person said, "I can't believe that you are driving for two hours to see a Siddur in a glass box."  Never in my wildest dreams did I think that they would let me touch it.  Well not only did I see it but I got to hold it.  I am so glad that I went, and it shows me that if something feels important to me, it is worth it to follow a dream.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Building an eternal creation.

Sometimes when a builder builds a tall building he puts up a scaffolding to help him to build.  Would he ever dream of building it out of gold?  Of course not, the scaffolding is only temporary.  This is a good Mashal of our lives.  Our lives are temporary, but the eternal creation of our neshamah is for ever.  We should put the emphasis on the eternal creation and not our physical existence.  


Parshat Vayishlach: Faithful Follower
Teacher: Mrs. Shira Smiles Class:

Parsha For Our Lives 5772

Added: December 05, 2011 



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Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Learning to Live the Torah

When Yakov says, "I lived with Lavan"  we learn from this that he kept all 613 mitzvot.  How can we say that he kept all of the Mitzvot?  The answer that Mrs. Smiles gives is that by learning all of the mitzvot and having the intention to carry them out, to the best of our ability, we are credited with keeping them.  She adds that this means not just keeping the mitzvot, but keeping the intent of the mitzvot.  She gives the example of Tznius, which does not only mean modest dress, but modest behavior.  I was recently reading the following post from Neil Harris:   http://uberdox.blogspot.com/2011/11/reb-moshe-and-broken-tape-recorder.html  where he told the folloing story that illustrates this idea, of not just learning Torah, but absorbing it.




Some years ago, in Rav Reuven Feinstein's yeshiva, there were two boys who had an argument.  What happened?  Let's call them Reuven and Shimon.  Revuen lent his tape recorder to Shimon and Shimon dropped the tape record and it broke.  And they were arguing.  Revuen said, "I lent you the tape recorder and you broke it.  You have to get me a new one."
Shimon says, "It wasn't my fault, it was an accident."
And they were arguing and decided that they would go to the Rosh Yeshiva, which is a good thing.  They went to Reb Reuven Feinstein, they went to the Rosh Yeshiva to ask him what's the halacha then.  This is what happened.  Rav Reuven Feinstein was absolutly astonished by the question.  Not with nachas, he was astonished.  He said, "You're learning all year since September, your learning the gemara.  Everyday you have charts on the blackboard.   You're learning the gemara "Bava Metzia" that teaches that when someone borrows something he's responsible when it breaks.  If you borrow something you're responsible."  Rav Reuven was so distrubed by this.  He couldn't understand how's it possible that the boy, how could he not know that? That's all they're learning and they're getting 100s on their tests. שואל חייב באונסין , it's a gemara.  It's all over the gemara.  If you borrow, you're chai'ev (responsible).
So, he was so upset, Rav Reuven went to his father.  He went to Reb Moshe, Zecher Tzaddik V'Kodesh L'Vracha.  He went to Reb Moshe and he asked, "How can it be that the boys did not know that?"
So, Reb Moshe said, "Because what they've seen in their lives has no relationship to what they're learning in yeshiva.  It's completely irrelevant.  They do not see their parents living the lives that they learn in the seforim, nor do they see it so clearly in the yeshiva."  That's what Reb Moshe said.
They would never dream of making a connection between what they learned all year and how to practically live.  It might have been taught, but it wasn't given over.







Dvar Torah from:




Parshat Vayishlach: Faithful Follower
Teacher: Mrs. Shira Smiles Class:

Parsha For Our Lives 5772

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Things to give up-from an Alanon Group

> 1. Give up trying to be perfect. – The real world doesn't reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.
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> 2. Give up comparing yourself to others. – The only person you are competing against is yourself.
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> 3. Give up dwelling on the past or worrying too much about the future. – Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you. Right now is life. Don't miss it.
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> 4. Give up complaining. – Do something about it.
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> 5. Give up holding grudges. – Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness.
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> 6. Give up waiting. – What we don't start today won't be finished by tomorrow. Knowledge and intelligence are both useless without action.
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> 7. Give up lying. – In the long-run the truth always reveals itself. Either you own up to your actions or your actions will ultimately own you.
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> 8. Give up trying to avoid mistakes. – The only mistake that can truly hurt you is choosing to do nothing simply because you're too scared to make a mistake.
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> 9. Give up saying, "I can't." – As Henry Ford put it, "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you are right."
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> 10. Give up trying to be everything to everyone. – Making one person smile can change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. Start small. Start now.
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> 11. Give up thinking you're not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won't feel totally comfortable at first.
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> 12. Give up setting small goals for yourself. – Many people set small goals because they're afraid to fail. Ironically, setting these small goals is what makes them fail.
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> 13. Give up trying to do everything by yourself. – You are the sum of the people you spend the most time with. If you work together, you will be far more capable and powerful than you ever could have been alone.
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> 14. Give up buying things you don't need. – Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you. Do not spend to impress others. Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects.
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> 15. Give up blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can live your dream life depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you're going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
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> 16. Give up making mountains out of molehills. – One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: "Will this matter in one year's time? Three years? Five years? If not, then it's not worth worrying about.
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> 17. Give up trying to live up to the expectations of others. – Work on it for real and exceed your own expectations. Everything else will fall into place.
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> 18. Give up the `easy street' mentality. – There is too much emphasis on finding a `quick fix' in today's society. For example taking diet pills to lose weight instead of exercising and eating well. No amount of magic fairy dust replaces diligent, focused, hard work.
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> 19. Give up making promises you can't keep. – Don't over-promise. Over-deliver on everything you do.
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> 20. Give up letting your thoughts and feelings bottle up inside. – People are not mind readers. They will never know how you feel unless you tell them.
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> 21. Give up beating around the bush. – Say what you mean and mean what you say. Communicate effectively.
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> 22. Give up avoiding change. – However good or bad a situation is now, it will change. That's the one thing you can count on. So embrace change and realize that change happens for a reason. It won't always be easy or obvious at first, but in the end it will be worth it.
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> 23. Give up your sense of entitlement. – Nobody is entitled to anything in this world. We are all equal. We breathe the same air. We get what we give. We get what we earn.
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> 24. Give up waiting until the last minute. – Those who fail to plan, plan to fail.
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> 25. Give up being dramatic. – Stay out of other people's drama and don't needlessly create your own.
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> 26. Give up being anti-athletic. – Get your body moving! Simply take a long, relaxing walk.
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> 27. Give up junk food. – You are what you eat.
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> 28. Give up eating as a means of entertainment. – Don't eat when you're bored. Eat when you're hungry.
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> 29. Give up foolish habits that you know are foolish. – Don't text and drive. Don't drink and drive. Don't smoke. Etc.
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> 30. Give up relationships with people who bring you down. – Saying "no" to right people gives you the time and resources required to say "yes" to right opportunities. Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded.
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> 31. Give up being shy. – Network with people. Meet new people. Ask questions. Introduce yourself.
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> 32. Give up worrying about what others think of you. – Unless you're trying to make a great first impression (job interview, first date, etc.), don't let the opinions of others stand in your way. What they think and say about you isn't important. What is important is how you feel about yourself.
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> 33. Give up trying to control everything. – Life is an unpredictable phenomenon. No matter how good or bad things seem right now, we can never be 100% certain what will happen next. So do you best with what's in front of you and leave the rest to the powers above you.
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> 34. Give up doing the same thing over and over again. – In order to grow, you must expand your horizons and break free of your comfort zone. If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting.
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> 35. Give up following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don't find the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
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> 36. Give up persistent multi-tasking. – Do one thing at a time and do it right.
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> 37. Give up thinking others are luckier than you. – The harder you work, the luckier you will become.
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> 38. Give up filling every waking moment with commitments and activities. – It's okay to be alone. It's okay to do nothing sometimes. Think. Relax. Breathe. Be.
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> 39. Give up making emotional decisions. – Don't let your emotions trump your intelligence. Slow down and think things through before you make any life-changing decisions.
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> 40. Give up doing the wrong things just because you can get away with it. – Just because you can get away with something doesn't mean you should do it. Think bigger. Keep the end in mind. Do what you know in your heart is right.
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> 41. Give up focusing on what you don't want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you'll often find that you're right.
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> 42. Give up taking yourself so seriously. – Few others do anyway. So enjoy yourself and have a little fun while you can.
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> 43. Give up spending your life working in a career field you're not passionate about. – Life is too short for such nonsense. The right career choice is based on one key point: Finding hard work you love doing. So if you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don't stop. You're on to something big. Because hard work ain't hard when you concentrate on your passions.
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> 44. Give up thinking about the things you don't have. – Appreciate everything you do have. Many people aren't so lucky.
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> 45. Give up doubting others. – People who are determined do remarkable things. Remember, the one who says it can't be done should never interrupt the one doing it.
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> 46. Give up fussing with every beauty product on the market. – Good looks attracts the eyes. Personality attracts the heart. Be proud to be you. That's when you're beautiful.
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> 47. Give up trying to fit in. – Don't mold yourself into someone you're not. Be yourself. Oftentimes, the only reason they want you to fit in is that once you do they can ignore you and go about their business.
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> 48. Give up trying to be different for the sake of being different. – Nonconformity for the sake of nonconformity is conformity. When people try too hard to be different, they usually end up being just like everyone else who is trying to be different. Once again, be yourself.
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> 49. Give up trying to avoid risk. – There's no such thing as `risk free.' Everything you do or don't do has an inherent risk.
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> 50. Give up putting your own needs on the back burner. – Yes, help others, but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
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> ~ Author Unknown
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Monday, December 5, 2011

A personal reflecton on Gam Zu L'Tova

As you may have noticed I have not been able to post much for the past nine months.  Someone that I am very close to has gone through a major medical crisis.  Baruch Hashem, now that it is almost over I can look back and see that many of the things which caused us so much pain at the time were actually the source of future Bracha.  The biggest thing that stands out in this area was that there were 2 ways of treating the problem with medicine or with surgery.  When the medicine failed I was devastated.  At the time that he started taking the medicine we had to sign that we knew that the medicine could cause cancer but we were told that it was a one in 20,000 chance.  Recently I met someone who was that one, and he had to have the surgery anyway and deal with cancer.  Now as I look back I am so grateful to Hashem that the medicine did not work!  I am so grateful to Hashem that he is running the show not me.

Feeling the Kedusha of the Menorah

The Baal HaTanya says that you can not fill a cup of water with wine. You have to empty the cup in order to fill it.  The same holds true for spirituality.  If your mind is full of physicality you will not be able to absorb spirituality.  When you light the menorah you have to make sure that your mind is not focused on physical things so that you can feel the Kedushah of the menorah.


Chanukah: Sfas Emes Part 1
Teacher: Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller Class:

Jewish Calendar II (Chanukah




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Day 72 - To a Non-Jew

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Laws of Loshon Hora 8:12

At one time or another, we hear derogatory remarks about Jews. It is tragic enough when such remarks are made by Jews to Jewish listeners. Even more tragic is when they are told by Jews to co-workers, business associates, or others who are not Jewish. The subject of these remarks might be an individual Jew, a specific group of Jews, or Jews in general.

The Chofetz Chaim declares that to speak loshon hora about a Jew when the listener is a gentile is a much greater sin than when the listener is a Jew. One who is guilty of this sin “disgraces the honor of Israel and desecrates the Name of Heaven.”

There is yet another reason for the particular severity of this sin. When one speaks loshon hora to a fellow Jew, there is a possibility that the listener will not be quick to accept the report as fact—especially if he is someone familiar with the laws of loshon hora. Gentiles, on the other hand, certainly do not have a predisposition towards judging Jews favorably. Upon hearing the derogatory report, the gentile will be quick to believe it and pass the information on to others.

When a Jew denigrates other Jews in the presence of gentiles, he is, in essence, contradicting the purpose of his own existence. Our mission in this world as a people is to spread the honor of Hashem by serving as His representatives before the rest of the world. We say in Shema each day: “V’Ahavta es Hashem ElokechaAnd you shall love Hashem, your God (Devarim 6:4). Our Sages teach (Yoma 86a) that we demonstrate our love of Hashem by making His Name beloved in the eyes of others. When a Jew studies Torah, speaks pleasantly to people and deals honestly in business, then people say, “Praiseworthy is the father who taught him Torah; praiseworthy is the teacher who taught him Torah. See how beautiful and correct are his ways and deeds.”

Thus the damage caused by relating loshon hora to gentiles goes far beyond loshon hora, which is devastating in itself. Instead of using his abilities to increase Hashem’s honor, the speaker has been guilty of chillul Hashem (desecration of Hashem’s Name).
from the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Assoc.

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