Torah Insights for OA

The secret of happiness-from Rabbi Kirzner

2012-01-26T21:53:00.001-05:00

Rabbi Label Lam says that he once heard Rabbi Kirzner say that the secret of happiness is "expect nothing". There is an oa saying, "An expectation is a planned resentment". Rabbi Lam explains that while this might sound negative, it is really very positive. It is saying that every little thing in your life should make you happy.

from:

http://www.torahanytime.com/scripts/media.php?file=media/Rabbi/Label_Lam/2012-01-01/Reaching_Happiness_NOW/Rabbi__Label_Lam__Reaching_Happiness_NOW__2012-01-01.wmv

"I'm not different"

2012-01-23T18:33:00.000-05:00

When Yakov struggled with the angel and won, he asked the angel what his name is and he refused to answer. Rabbi Wallerstein said that the angel's name (the Yetzer Hara) is, "I'm different". Everyone thinks that "I'm different, I can do what I want and get the results that I want" But that is the trick of the Yetzer Hara, he wants us to think that we are different and we don't need the rules and regulations of the Torah. If we want to grow in Yiras Shamayim we have to realize that we are not different.

from a Shiur on Torah anytime:

http://www.torahanytime.com/scripts/media.php?file=media/Rabbi/Zecharia_Wallerstein/2011-12-21/You_are_the_Miracle/Rabbi__Zecharia_Wallerstein__You_are_the_Miracle__2011-12-21.wmv

Thank you Hashem for a year without Yishuv Hadas.

2012-01-23T08:36:00.000-05:00

In a Shiur by Shira Smiles on Parshat Viera she said that we have to thank Hashem for what we don't have, not just what we have. She also spoke about the reason that the frogs were such a difficult Maka was that they robbed the Egyptians of their Yishuv Hadas. In light of this I am trying to find a way of thanking Hashem for the fact that I have not had any Yishuv Hadas for almost a year now.

I have a lot to be thankful for in the past year, Health Insurance, warm and caring family members and doctors who helped me through a difficult time, modern medicine which makes major problems livable in the long term, and so much more. But Yishuv Hadas was not there. The longer that I think about this whole year, I feel that the biggest message that I can take out of it is that Hashem runs the world not me. While this may seem obvious, it is a hard message to internalize. I kept thinking that if I called one more doctor, or looked up one more thing on the internet, I would find an easy solution. There are no easy answers. Hashem is the final address for all of our problems. To paraphrase Rabbi Weinberg from Aish, we turn to Hashem for the answers to our problems, but we forget that Hashem gave us these problems to cause us to turn to him.

Therefore, I am thanking Hashem for my difficult year, with no Yishuv Hadas, because it helped me to internalize the fact that I can do and do and do. But if Hashem does not want things to go well they won't. The opposite is also true. I can make tremendous efforts to solve a problem, only to come up with a blank wall, and then I can turn around and find the solution fall into my lap through no effort of my own.

The biggest cost of my difficult year has been this blog. Without Yishuv Hadas I was not able to post much. I am trying to get back to it, and I greatly appreciate all of the help that everyone has given me, in the past, and I hope to bring my blog back to it's former self.

The message of the dreidel.

2011-12-23T08:26:00.002-05:00

A dreidel is only able to turn when the hand on the top spins it and makes it go. This is like our lives. Without the hand from above (Hashem) our lives are worthless.

Heard on a Torah Twelve Step meeting from Jenette in Panama.

I held the Baal Shem Tov's Siddur.

2011-12-11T21:09:00.001-05:00

Sometimes you just feel like you have to do something. This Shabbos when I read about the Auction of Important Judaica at Sotherby's I got it in my head that I had to see it. I couldn't find someone to go with me so I hoped into my car and went by myself. One person said, "I can't believe that you are driving for two hours to see a Siddur in a glass box." Never in my wildest dreams did I think that they would let me touch it. Well not only did I see it but I got to hold it. I am so glad that I went, and it shows me that if something feels important to me, it is worth it to follow a dream.

Building an eternal creation.

2011-12-08T09:04:00.001-05:00

Sometimes when a builder builds a tall building he puts up a scaffolding to help him to build. Would he ever dream of building it out of gold? Of course not, the scaffolding is only temporary. This is a good Mashal of our lives. Our lives are temporary, but the eternal creation of our neshamah is for ever. We should put the emphasis on the eternal creation and not our physical existence.

Parshat Vayishlach: Faithful Follower
Teacher: Mrs. Shira Smiles Class:

Parsha For Our Lives 5772

Added: December 05, 2011

http://www.naaleh.com/viewclass/2913/single/

Learning to Live the Torah

2011-12-07T14:23:00.001-05:00

When Yakov says, "I lived with Lavan" we learn from this that he kept all 613 mitzvot. How can we say that he kept all of the Mitzvot? The answer that Mrs. Smiles gives is that by learning all of the mitzvot and having the intention to carry them out, to the best of our ability, we are credited with keeping them. She adds that this means not just keeping the mitzvot, but keeping the intent of the mitzvot. She gives the example of Tznius, which does not only mean modest dress, but modest behavior. I was recently reading the following post from Neil Harris: http://uberdox.blogspot.com/2011/11/reb-moshe-and-broken-tape-recorder.html where he told the folloing story that illustrates this idea, of not just learning Torah, but absorbing it.

Some years ago, in Rav Reuven Feinstein's yeshiva, there were two boys who had an argument. What happened? Let's call them Reuven and Shimon. Revuen lent his tape recorder to Shimon and Shimon dropped the tape record and it broke. And they were arguing. Revuen said, "I lent you the tape recorder and you broke it. You have to get me a new one."

Shimon says, "It wasn't my fault, it was an accident."

And they were arguing and decided that they would go to the Rosh Yeshiva, which is a good thing. They went to Reb Reuven Feinstein, they went to the Rosh Yeshiva to ask him what's the halacha then. This is what happened. Rav Reuven Feinstein was absolutly astonished by the question. Not with nachas, he was astonished. He said, "You're learning all year since September, your learning the gemara. Everyday you have charts on the blackboard. You're learning the gemara "Bava Metzia" that teaches that when someone borrows something he's responsible when it breaks. If you borrow something you're responsible." Rav Reuven was so distrubed by this. He couldn't understand how's it possible that the boy, how could he not know that? That's all they're learning and they're getting 100s on their tests. שואל חייב באונסין , it's a gemara. It's all over the gemara. If you borrow, you're chai'ev (responsible).

So, he was so upset, Rav Reuven went to his father. He went to Reb Moshe, Zecher Tzaddik V'Kodesh L'Vracha. He went to Reb Moshe and he asked, "How can it be that the boys did not know that?"

So, Reb Moshe said, "Because what they've seen in their lives has no relationship to what they're learning in yeshiva. It's completely irrelevant. They do not see their parents living the lives that they learn in the seforim, nor do they see it so clearly in the yeshiva." That's what Reb Moshe said.

They would never dream of making a connection between what they learned all year and how to practically live. It might have been taught, but it wasn't given over.

Dvar Torah from:

Parshat Vayishlach: Faithful Follower
Teacher: Mrs. Shira Smiles Class:

Parsha For Our Lives 5772

Things to give up-from an Alanon Group

2011-12-06T08:29:00.001-05:00

>1. Give up trying to be perfect. – The real world doesn't rewardperfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.
>
> 2. Give up comparing yourself to others. – The only person you arecompeting against is yourself.
>
> 3. Give up dwelling on the past or worrying too much about the future. –Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you. Right now is life. Don't missit.
>
> 4. Give up complaining. – Do something about it.
>
> 5. Give up holding grudges. – Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness.
>
> 6. Give up waiting. – What we don't start today won't be finished bytomorrow. Knowledge and intelligence are both useless without action.
>
> 7. Give up lying. – In the long-run the truth always reveals itself.Either you own up to your actions or your actions will ultimately own you.
>
> 8. Give up trying to avoid mistakes. – The only mistake that can trulyhurt you is choosing to do nothing simply because you're too scared to make amistake.
>
> 9. Give up saying, "I can't." – As Henry Ford put it,"Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you are right."
>
> 10. Give up trying to be everything to everyone. – Making one person smilecan change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. Start small.Start now.
>
> 11. Give up thinking you're not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready whenan opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us togrow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won't feel totally comfortable atfirst.
>
> 12. Give up setting small goals for yourself. – Many people set small goalsbecause they're afraid to fail. Ironically, setting these small goals is whatmakes them fail.
>
> 13. Give up trying to do everything by yourself. – You are the sum of thepeople you spend the most time with. If you work together, you will be far morecapable and powerful than you ever could have been alone.
>
> 14. Give up buying things you don't need. – Manage your money wisely soyour money does not manage you. Do not spend to impress others. Do not livelife trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in materialobjects.
>
> 15. Give up blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which youcan live your dream life depends on the extent to which you take responsibilityfor your life. When you blame others for what you're going through, you denyresponsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
>
> 16. Give up making mountains out of molehills. – One way to check ifsomething is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: "Willthis matter in one year's time? Three years? Five years? If not, then it's notworth worrying about.
>
> 17. Give up trying to live up to the expectations of others. – Work on itfor real and exceed your own expectations. Everything else will fall intoplace.
>
> 18. Give up the `easy street' mentality. – There is too much emphasis onfinding a `quick fix' in today's society. For example taking diet pills to loseweight instead of exercising and eating well. No amount of magic fairy dustreplaces diligent, focused, hard work.
>
> 19. Give up making promises you can't keep. – Don't over-promise.Over-deliver on everything you do.
>
> 20. Give up letting your thoughts and feelings bottle up inside. – Peopleare not mind readers. They will never know how you feel unless you tell them.
>
> 21. Give up beating around the bush. – Say what you mean and mean what yousay. Communicate effectively.
>
> 22. Give up avoiding change. – However good or bad a situation is now, itwill change. That's the one thing you can count on. So embrace change andrealize that change happens for a reason. It won't always be easy or obvious atfirst, but in the end it will be worth it.
>
> 23. Give up your sense of entitlement. – Nobody is entitled to anything inthis world. We are all equal. We breathe the same air. We get what we give. Weget what we earn.
>
> 24. Give up waiting until the last minute. – Those who fail to plan, planto fail.
>
> 25. Give up being dramatic. – Stay out of other people's drama and don'tneedlessly create your own.
>
> 26. Give up being anti-athletic. – Get your body moving! Simply take along, relaxing walk.
>
> 27. Give up junk food. – You are what you eat.
>
> 28. Give up eating as a means of entertainment. – Don't eat when you'rebored. Eat when you're hungry.
>
> 29. Give up foolish habits that you know are foolish. – Don't text anddrive. Don't drink and drive. Don't smoke. Etc.
>
> 30. Give up relationships with people who bring you down. – Saying"no" to right people gives you the time and resources required to say"yes" to right opportunities. Spend time with nice people who aresmart, driven and likeminded.
>
> 31. Give up being shy. – Network with people. Meet new people. Askquestions. Introduce yourself.
>
> 32. Give up worrying about what others think of you. – Unless you'retrying to make a great first impression (job interview, first date, etc.),don't let the opinions of others stand in your way. What they think and sayabout you isn't important. What is important is how you feel about yourself.
>
> 33. Give up trying to control everything. – Life is an unpredictablephenomenon. No matter how good or bad things seem right now, we can never be100% certain what will happen next. So do you best with what's in front of youand leave the rest to the powers above you.
>
> 34. Give up doing the same thing over and over again. – In order to grow,you must expand your horizons and break free of your comfort zone. If you keepdoing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting.
>
> 35. Give up following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy,especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don't find the easyway out. Do something extraordinary.
>
> 36. Give up persistent multi-tasking. – Do one thing at a time and do itright.
>
> 37. Give up thinking others are luckier than you. – The harder you work,the luckier you will become.
>
> 38. Give up filling every waking moment with commitments and activities. –It's okay to be alone. It's okay to do nothing sometimes. Think. Relax.Breathe. Be.
>
> 39. Give up making emotional decisions. – Don't let your emotions trumpyour intelligence. Slow down and think things through before you make anylife-changing decisions.
>
> 40. Give up doing the wrong things just because you can get away with it.– Just because you can get away with something doesn't mean you should do it.Think bigger. Keep the end in mind. Do what you know in your heart is right.
>
> 41. Give up focusing on what you don't want to happen. – Focus on what youdo want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great successstory. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderfulwill happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you'll often findthat you're right.
>
> 42. Give up taking yourself so seriously. – Few others do anyway. So enjoyyourself and have a little fun while you can.
>
> 43. Give up spending your life working in a career field you're notpassionate about. – Life is too short for such nonsense. The right careerchoice is based on one key point: Finding hard work you love doing. So if youcatch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don't stop. You'reon to something big. Because hard work ain't hard when you concentrate on yourpassions.
>
> 44. Give up thinking about the things you don't have. – Appreciateeverything you do have. Many people aren't so lucky.
>
> 45. Give up doubting others. – People who are determined do remarkablethings. Remember, the one who says it can't be done should never interrupt theone doing it.
>
> 46. Give up fussing with every beauty product on the market. – Good looksattracts the eyes. Personality attracts the heart. Be proud to be you. That'swhen you're beautiful.
>
> 47. Give up trying to fit in. – Don't mold yourself into someone you'renot. Be yourself. Oftentimes, the only reason they want you to fit in is thatonce you do they can ignore you and go about their business.
>
> 48. Give up trying to be different for the sake of being different. – Nonconformityfor the sake of nonconformity is conformity. When people try too hard to bedifferent, they usually end up being just like everyone else who is trying tobe different. Once again, be yourself.
>
> 49. Give up trying to avoid risk. – There's no such thing as `risk free.'Everything you do or don't do has an inherent risk.
>
> 50. Give up putting your own needs on the back burner. – Yes, help others,but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and dosomething that matters to you, that moment is now.
>
>
>
> ~ Author Unknown
>

A personal reflecton on Gam Zu L'Tova

2011-12-05T23:00:00.000-05:00

As you may have noticed I have not been able to post much for the past nine months. Someone that I am very close to has gone through a major medical crisis. Baruch Hashem, now that it is almost over I can look back and see that many of the things which caused us so much pain at the time were actually the source of future Bracha. The biggest thing that stands out in this area was that there were 2 ways of treating the problem with medicine or with surgery. When the medicine failed I was devastated. At the time that he started taking the medicine we had to sign that we knew that the medicine could cause cancer but we were told that it was a one in 20,000 chance. Recently I met someone who was that one, and he had to have the surgery anyway and deal with cancer. Now as I look back I am so grateful to Hashem that the medicine did not work! I am so grateful to Hashem that he is running the show not me.

Feeling the Kedusha of the Menorah

2011-12-05T18:04:00.001-05:00

The Baal HaTanya says that you can not fill a cup of water with wine. You have to empty the cup in order to fill it. The same holds true for spirituality. If your mind is full of physicality you will not be able to absorb spirituality. When you light the menorah you have to make sure that your mind is not focused on physical things so that you can feel the Kedushah of the menorah.

Chanukah: Sfas Emes Part 1
Teacher: Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller Class:

Jewish Calendar II (Chanukah

http://www.naaleh.com/viewclass/356/single/

An important thing to keep in mind when posting and commenting on line.

2011-12-05T09:00:00.001-05:00

Day 72 - To aNon-Jew

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Laws ofLoshon Hora 8:12

At one time or another, wehear derogatory remarks about Jews. It is tragic enough when such remarks aremade by Jews to Jewish listeners. Even more tragic is when they are told byJews to co-workers, business associates, or others who are not Jewish. Thesubject of these remarks might be an individual Jew, a specific group of Jews,or Jews in general.

The Chofetz Chaim declaresthat to speak loshon hora about a Jew when the listener is a gentile isa much greater sin than when the listener is a Jew. One who is guilty of thissin “disgraces the honor of Israel and desecrates the Name of Heaven.”

There is yet anotherreason for the particular severity of this sin. When one speaks loshon hora toa fellow Jew, there is a possibility that the listener will not be quick toaccept the report as fact—especially if he is someone familiar with the laws ofloshon hora. Gentiles, on the other hand, certainly do not have apredisposition towards judging Jews favorably. Upon hearing the derogatoryreport, the gentile will be quick to believe it and pass the information on toothers.

When a Jew denigratesother Jews in the presence of gentiles, he is, in essence, contradicting thepurpose of his own existence. Our mission in this world as a people is tospread the honor of Hashem byserving as His representatives before the rest of the world. We say in Shemaeach day: “V’Ahavta es Hashem Elokecha” And you shall loveHashem, your God (Devarim 6:4). Our Sages teach (Yoma 86a)that we demonstrate our love of Hashem by making His Name beloved in the eyesof others. When a Jew studies Torah, speaks pleasantly to people and dealshonestly in business, then people say, “Praiseworthy is the father who taughthim Torah; praiseworthy is the teacher who taught him Torah. See how beautifuland correct are his ways and deeds.”

Thus the damage caused by relating loshonhora to gentiles goes far beyond loshon hora, which is devastatingin itself. Instead of using his abilities to increase Hashem’s honor, thespeaker has been guilty of chillul Hashem (desecration of Hashem’sName).

from the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Assoc.

2011-11-29T08:30:00.001-05:00

In a Shiur by Rebbetzin Kalmonovitz she said that Hashem gets tremendous Nachas from us telling stories of the Tzadikim becuase it inspires us to improve ourselves. Therefore I am posting this from:
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |

Two reporters, Israel correspondents from international secular publications, called the other day. Each was seeking the "truth" about supposed controversies within the fervently-Orthodox world.
I told both the same thing: Stop wasting your time on fringe groups and trivial issues. If you want to understand the "ultra-Orthodox" community, first find out why over a 100,000 people attended the funeral of Rabbi Nosson Tzvi Finkel, with tens of thousands of adults sobbing openly and unashamedly. If you want to understand a person or a community, observe what he or they honor: "[A] person [reveals himself] according to what he praises" (Proverbs 26:21).
Who was the remarkable man whose passing inspired such grief?
When Rabbi Finkel took over the reins of Jerusalem's Mirrer Yeshiva from his father-in-law, Rabbi Beinish Finkel, zt"l, in 1990, he had already been diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. Many wondered how he could carry the burden of a yeshiva (rabbinical academy) that numbered 1,000 married and unmarried students. Yet under his leadership the yeshiva expanded rapidly. New buildings were built; another branch was started in a community outside Tel Aviv. One sage quipped that Rabbi Nosson Tzvi might as well put a roof over the entire neighborhood and call it Mirrer Yeshiva. Today, 6,000 students learn in Mirrer Yeshiva's many study halls, making it the largest yeshiva since the closing of the Talmud, perhaps the largest ever.
"Even when I lie down, I can't rest because of the trembling," from Parkinson's Disease, he told one of his brothers-in-law, "so I think of ways to spread Torah." Our Sages say that the Ark carried those who carried it. And so it was with Rabbi Nosson Tzvi. After one long flight to Los Angeles, a crying stewardess told those who came to the airport to meet him, "Promise me you'll never let him do this again. How could you do this to this holy man?" When people accused his brothers-in-law of "shlepping him" on grueling trips, they replied, "We don't shlep him, he shleps us."
He used his debilitating disease to build more Torah and to teach. A rich businessman refused his request for a large donation. "I can't," he said. The sage told him, "I can't either, but I do anyway." He received the donation.
THE SAGE AND THE CEO
Howard Schultz, the founder of Starbucks, was once was brought to see Rabbi Finkel, along with a group of prominent businessman. They had not been told of his Parkinson's, and instinctively averted their eyes when he entered the room. Soon they heard a bang on the table and Rabbi Nosson Tzvi commanding them, "Look at me." "I know you are all busy men," he continued, "so I'll be brief. What is the most important lesson of the Holocaust?"
He proceeded to describe the situation of the Jews arriving in Auschwitz and other death camps, after being packed into cattle cars for days, without water or facilities of any kind, and then being separated from their loved ones. When the lucky ones reached a barracks, they were given one blanket for six people. They could choose to share it or each one could try to grab it for himself. They chose the former. "The greatest lesson of the Holocaust," he concluded, "is the triumph of the human spirit. Now, each of you return to America and share your blanket with five others."

Someone once asked him for advice on how to learn Torah, even amidst afflictions. Rabbi Nosson Tzvi told him that he didn't know: "I learn with great simcha [joy]." He refused to take the strongest medicines to control his disease for fear they would cloud his mind or rob him of his memory. The sage often learned in a freezing room to be able to meet his daily quotas in learning.
When he mounted the podium in Mirrer Yeshiva to give a lecture in the main study hall, he had to hold fast to two shtenders (lecterns) to remain upright and he never knew whether he would be able to control his tongue sufficiently to speak. Once he was thrown by a violent tremor from his position lying on a couch onto the floor, in the middle of learning with a student. Even before he could be helped up, he was asking his study partner to repeat the interpretation he had been offering.
Just as one would not begrudge the money spent to ransom a loved one, he viewed his ordeals as trivial price to pay for teaching and building Torah, and not as self-sacrifice. Everywhere he went, people of all ages rushed to be within his four cubits and witness a soul that had so transcended the limits of the imperfect vessel of his body.

OUR SAGES GIVE several possible explanations for the tests with which a tzaddik ( saintly person) is afflicted. Sometimes those tests serve to actualize his potential; sometimes to publicize his greatness. I will never forget the first time I saw Rabbi Nosson Tzvi, over thirty years ago, at the wedding of a former student. I had no idea who he was, but I could not take my eyes off of him. A Mona Lisa smile did not leave his lips the entire time I watched. It conveyed goodness and love and joy in a student's lifecycle event. I asked someone, "Who is that man who looks like an angel?" The special qualities were already there.

NATTIE, THE CUBS FAN
With love he inspired thousands of young men to reach heights that they never dreamed possible. In Mirrer Yeshiva, under Rabbi Nosson Tzvi, it did not matter where you were from, your family connections, or how high your IQ: Rabbi Nosson Tzvi was prepared to help each student reach his potential. He never forgot that he arrived at Mirrer Yeshiva, a lanky teenager called Nattie from a coed Jewish high school in Chicago, wearing a Cubs hat (though, he quipped, the golf clubs were left behind.) From his days as a young newly wed until he was felled by a sudden heart attack, he made it a practice to establish study sessions with any student who requested one.
A senior sage several decades Rabbi Nosson Tzvi's senior once came to visit him. Despite Rabbi Nosson Tzvi's protests, the older scholar insisted it was incumbent upon him to visit someone who knew 3,000 students by name. "I'm not sure if I know each one by name," Reb Nosson Tzvi said, "but I love each one." All those who entered the Mir found out that it was true.
A ba'al teshuva (one who reclaims his heritage through observance) recently arrived in Mirrer Yeshiva from Ohr Somayach could not find the special penitential prayers in an unfamiliar prayerbook. His humiliation was rising by the second, until Rabbi Nosson Tzvi, who had somehow noticed his discomfiture, came rushing over with a siddur open to the proper page. Such stories are legion: Rabbi Nosson Tzvi checking on young disciples in their sealed rooms during the Gulf War; Rabbi Nosson Tzvi personally taking a lad who fainted in a lecture to a doctor and then insisting that he move into the crowded Finkel home; Rabbi Nosson Tzvi looking for an apartment to rent with a student about to be married; Rabbi Nosson Tzvi, just back from a fundraising trip abroad, crying at the beginning of his Friday Chumash (Bible) class because "I missed you all so much."
Those who were sure the sage would not remember them from years before in the yeshiva were astonished to be greeted as "My Chaim," in a long receiving line, or to be reminded of a difficulty they had posed to the sage a decade earlier. Some sought to avoid imposing on Rabbi Nosson to officiate at their weddings, which entailed him arriving in a wheel chair and being assisted by at least two others to the chuppah. To no avail. Inevitably they would receive a call in the middle of wedding that the Rabbi Nosson was outside and wanted to wish the new couple Mazel Tov. A former student from America begged him not to attend his son's bar mitzvah at the Western Wall. "I missed your wedding fifteen years ago; I'm not missing the bar mitzvah," Rabbi Nosson Tzvi told him.
"Not a blade of grass grows unless an angel strikes it and says, 'Grow," our Sages teach. Rabbi Nosson Tzvi was that angel for tens of thousands of students and dozens of promising young scholars whom he appointed to give classes in Mirrer Yeshiva. But above all, it was his smile, the way he grasped your hand in both of his.
Mendy entered Mirrer Yeshiva after an indifferent career in other rabbinic schools. But Rabbi Nosson Tzvi was always ready to provide another chance. Towards the end of a long five-month winter zman (semester), the sage announced that he would like the unmarried students to commit to studying Talmud 12 hours a day, without any breaks. It never occurred to Mendy that the sage could mean him. A few days later, Mendy was approached and asked why his name was not on the sign-up.
Mendy could not believe that he had noticed the absence of his name among hundreds of names. But when he saw the Rabbi Nosson Tzvi was serious, he too signed up. The first days were very difficult. But after dropping into bed exhausted on the third night of the new regime, Mendy found himself dreaming about the Talmud in his sleep. The next morning he told this surrogate father what had happened. Rabbi Nosson Tzvi started dancing with him spontaneously in the packed study hall.
Now you know why we are weeping.

A Wonderful Collection of OA sayings-Thanks Goldie

2011-11-23T19:42:00.001-05:00

it works if you work it

those who judge do'nt matter, those who matter, do'nt judge

if you don't share it, you wear it

you come fror the vanity, you stay for the sanity

if you dont want to fall off the cliff, dont walk on the edge

the things you dont want to do are the things you really need to do

better a wrinkled prune than a fat plum

the problem in front of me is not as bad as the problem behind me

one bite is too much, but a thousand is not enough

the only place success comes before work is in the dictionary

if you do what you've always done you get what you've always gotten

only hashem can lift my mental obsession, and i have to ask for it one day at a time

i am responsible only for my own actions

if i fail to plan,i plan to fail

practice progress not perfection

overeating is a state of mind not a diet problem

Hashem doesn't want us to do anything compulsively

Hashem is doing for us what we couldnt do for ourselves

Hashem took me to it, Hashem will bring m through it

trust, rely, and depend on Hashem

we eat because we are Hurt Angry Lonely Tired

do'nt stuff your face, face your stuff

hurt people - hurt people

nothing tastes as good as abstinence feels

work is what i do between meetings

time takes time

dont pick up-no matter what

when you watch your weight, you lose your program- when you watch your program, you loose your weight

with Hashem help i can do anything

success is a journey, not a destination

trust Hashem, clean house, serve others

you dont need will power , you need Hashem power

yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery today is a gift, thats why we call it the present

say no without feeling guilty, say yes without feeling resentment

we are responsible for what we do no matter how we feel about it

either you control your attitude or it controls you

a head full of program prevents a body full of food

the monkey's off my back , but the circus is still in town

we need to put less faith in our efforts and more effort in our faith

NUTS not using the steps

FEAR forgotten everything's all right

FEAR false evidence appears real

FEAR face everything and recover

fear is the absence of faith

fear is a darkroom where negative thoughts are developed

dont leave before the miracle

develop an attitude of gratitude

i didnt cause it, i cant control it, i cant cure it-- just let Hashem do it

we are skating on thin ice any time we seek comfort in anything other than Hashem

worry doesnt prevent disaster, it prevents joy

worry does not empty tomorrow of its struggles, it empties today of its strengths

acceptance is the answer to all my problems today

worry is like a rocking chair- it keeps you busy but it doesnt get you anywhere

pick up the phone,not the food

service is slimming

keep it simple,surrender

a mistake is not a mistake, its a learning experience

sliver ->slice -> slab -> slob

WE ARE NOT IN CONTROL

happy moments-----------------praise Hashem
difficult moments---------------seek Hashem
quiet moments------------------pray to Hashem
painful moments----------------trust Hashem
every moment-------------------thank Hashem

Lech Lecha- One Day at a Time

2011-11-05T20:34:00.000-04:00

When Hashem told Avraham to leave his birthplace, Hashem did not tell him where he was going. This was a major part of his Nisayon. To know that he had to do Hashem's will, even if he didn't know what it was in the long term.

Avraham's Nisyonos are ours. Every day when we wake up we have to focus on doing what Hashem wants us to do that day. We don't have to know what the long term plan is, we just have to focus on doing Hashem's will that day. The difficulties, and setbacks that come up are often Hashem's way of directing us to where he wants us to go, and we have to be flexible and make the most of what Hashem sends us.

Based on Rabbi Parkoff's book "Trust Me"

Mazel Tov!

2011-10-25T19:25:00.001-04:00

My second anniversary of back to back abstinence.

True Transformation

2011-10-05T19:42:00.001-04:00

The Rambam says that the wise man is a man who only has an appitite for healthy food. Rabbi Yitzchak Berkowitz asks how is posible for a person t acheive this-he answers through knowledge. Just like a licked up lolipop in the garbage can not apealing to us but it to a little kid, we can ue true wsdom to change the way we look at food and become a true wise man. We can transform ourselves.

How can we call Haazinu a Shira when there is so much punishment in it?

2011-09-20T17:35:00.001-04:00

The answer is that punishment is not something that Hashem does to take revenge on us, it is something that Hashem brings on us because it is good for us. We understand that everything that Hashem does is for our ultimate good. When we stand in front of Hashem before Rosh Hashanah we may feel discouraged when we think of the ways that we didn't do that we promised we would last year. It is tempting to fall into despair and to feel that there is no use in even trying. We have to know that even when we are deserving of punishment, even though we seem to push Hashem away, he is always there. In an effort to direct us in the right direction, Hashem will send nisyonos our way, but it is not to push us away, it is to bring us closer.

from the Shiur

Parshat Nitzavim & Vayelech: Symbiotic Song Teacher: Mrs. Shira Smiles

Lately I have spoken to many people who are all bordering on despair. They feel that their lives have become so difficult that they do not know how they are going to keep going. I feel that this answer is a very powerful insight to help us to get past this feeling.

Thoughts as we enter Elul.

2011-08-30T15:32:00.001-04:00

To the extent that we are able to nullify ourselves, we become closer to Hashem.

from: Elul: Month of Relationships
Teacher: Mrs. Shira Smiles

It is Rosh Chodesh Elul today and I am sitting in the hospital waiting for someone to get out of surgery. I am grateful to Hashem for putting me in a position of helplessness as I wait for good news. It brings me to a place of realizing that all of our plans are meaningless without Hashem's plans for us. As I look around at all of the sick people around me, I realize again what a gift good health is. As we contemplate the new year, we should be aware of all of the blessings in our lives. If we can eat and breathe and walk and we have a roof over our heads, we have a lot to thank Hashem for. Last year at this time, I never dreamed that I would have such a hard year. Baruch Hashem I have the chance to beg Hashem for a year of good.

Facing our fears head on.

2011-08-01T22:58:00.001-04:00

Many years ago when I was facing a very difficult time, my son's Rosh Yeshivah told me to think of the worst case scenario and accept that I could handle it, then I would not have to live in fear.

Since starting OA I was afraid of how I would handle maintenance. How would I stick to the program while I didn't have the reinforcement of losing weight. I always assumed that once I reached goal weight I would be able to increase my food. Much to my surprise, I started to gain weight on the same food plan and actually had to cut my food plan.

Last week I was sitting with my family in an ice cream parlor watching them eat their ice cream. Amazingly enough, I was OK. Even with my reduced food plan. I did not need to run away and hide. I did not suffer. I just sat there and watched them. It suddenly hit me that here I was facing a situation that I dreaded, and it was no big deal.

Gateway to Geulah

2011-07-19T20:34:00.000-04:00

Each day during the Three Weeks this new web site will post a different story of Ahavas Yisroel. The hope is that these stories will inspire us to to strengthen our own efforts in this area.

The first one is a powerful story: Gateway to Geulah

By Sara Yoheved Rigler

http://21daysofahavasyisroel.com/index.php

Oceans of Ink

2011-07-19T20:09:00.002-04:00

The Bais Hamikdash is not being rebuilt because of the sin of Loshon Hara. If all of the oceans in the world were ink, and all of the heavens were parchment we could not fully describe the sins of Loshon Hara.

from a Shiur by Rabbi Zev Leff about the root causes of Loshon Hara.

Why are there so many tragedies in the summer?

2011-07-15T09:46:00.001-04:00

A friend of mine's child was playing in a driveway near a large box of recycled glass. Somehow the glass all shattered and spilled on the driveway and the child fell into the glass needing over 40 stiches. First of all we have to learn that we should be very careful about our recycled glass. The other message that her Rav told her is that in the summer many people take vacations so there is less Torah learning going on. Torah learning provides a protection for Klal Yisrael. Therefore we should all take some time to increase our learning this summer.

A Torah Perspective on today's Tragedy from a Shiur by Rebetzin Kalmonovitz

2011-07-13T15:13:00.002-04:00

There are many lessons from the horrible tragedy of the young boy who was brutally murdered. The first lesson is that we are still in Golus. It is easy to think that here in America everything is wonderful and easy, but the reality is that this is Golus, and we have to daven for Moshiach and not get too comfortable in this Golus. When Hashem gave us the Torah it was established that our children will be our guarantee for the future. When our children are taken away from us, it shows that our Torah is in question. We have to look for a source of protection for Klal Yisrael.

When Balack wanted Bilam to curse the Jews, he could not do it. Therefore Bilam advised Balack to get the Jews to sin through immorality. When he succeeded in getting them to sin, thousands of Jews were killed in a plague. We learn from this that the greatest protection that we have is our tznius. We all have to examine ourselves to find ways of improving our tznius. This does not just mean clothing, but in all parts of our lives. The way we talk, how we relate to people of the opposite sex in our work environment, our homes, and many other things.

When asked, "How do we explain this to our children" Rebetzin Kalmonovitz said, "This is a Korbon for all of our generation, this neshamah is going up to Shamayim with all of the Tehillim and Tefilos that were said on his behalf, which makes this Korbon even more valuable. Because we don't have a Bais Hamikdash to bring a Korbon, this became a Korbon Tzibur to be mechaper for all of our avonos. At a recent Kinus Rabbi Wosner in Eretz Yisrael said that when a man is learning in Kolel and his wife is not acting with the proper level of tznius, the zechus of the man's Torah learning goes to the wrong side. People who are Klei Kodesh have to be especially careful of their tznius.

When asked, "How can we emotionally deal with the fact that this was done by a fellow yid?" Rebetzin Kalmonovitz said that the Yidden are the Lev of the world. When something this horrible can happen then it shows how sick the world is, and how badly we need to do Teshuvah.

Coping With Crisis

2011-07-10T00:13:00.000-04:00

Rabbi Kirzner ztl teaches us that from this Kepital Tehillim we learn that during a time of crisis we often think that it is best to focus only on our physical nisayon and leave the spiritual for later. When in reality we have to remember that by focusing on spiritual pursuits we will make our suffering more bearable.

Tehillim Psalm 63 - Coping With Crisis Kirzner ztl, Rabbi Yitzchak

The pain of seeing our mistakes.

2011-06-30T18:02:00.000-04:00

Recently I have been going over my books preparing for an audit. I found that the most difficult part was finding my own mistakes. Looking back and saying, "How could I have made such a dumb mistake." I suddenly realized that this is the pain of Gehenom (in a tiny way). When we get to Shamayim and we see what we could have been it will be unbearably difficult. I have resolved to try harder to live my life in such a way that I don't have to look back and see as many mistakes. I hope that I can keep even a tiny part of this resolve alive.

Rebbitzen Kalmanowitz - Chovos Halevavos Shiur in Monsey

2011-06-30T17:54:00.000-04:00

Every Wednesday at 10:45 at 6 Ash Steet this summer. For more info contact tioablog@gmail.com.

The Gift of Abstinence

2011-06-19T21:14:00.003-04:00

Thank You HaShem, words just aren’t enough
There’s no way I could have done this without Your love
I came to meetings and listened to people share
Made outreach calls to women who care

They said “keep coming back – the gift will come”
Gave me hope and encouragement when I had none
I wanted to do it my way but finally had to admit
I needed to let go of controlling life as I wanted it

I heard people with serenity and I wanted that too
But I couldn’t understand why I had to leave the food
Why can’t I eat what I want and connect to HaShem?
But no matter how I tried, I couldn’t be like them

I wanted to meditate, to get up early and daven
To say Brachos over food, and not need to repeat them
To be patient and kind and present for my family
to stop fighting with myself over food constantly

But I still had self will, and I couldn’t let go
Still kept on thinking I needed to run the show
And then suddenly it came – I really don’t know how
HaShem gave me the willingness to start right now

42 days later – I can’t believe it’s true
Abstinence is a gift that can only come from You
Weighed and measured, my food is clean
Nothing in between – not one little bean

It sounded so restricting, so harsh and so strict
But this freedom from choice is truly a gift
No more “i can have a little now – lunch was quite small”
Or “I really need more, I wasn’t so full!”

I now know clearly when the food thoughts come
That really I need to connect to someone
I turn to HaShem and ask what I should do
Trying to fulfil His Ratzon as a good Jew

I try to meditate each and every day
On three healthy meals – Brachos I say
I’ve got a long way to go in my Avodas HaShem
But I’m so grateful each day that I can start again

No longer am I going to bed so full of self-hate
Scared to wake up and deal with my “fate”
Struggling and struggling with no peace in sight
This way gives me clarity – it really feels right

I daven for you all that you’ll get the gift too
And that I’ll hold on to the willingness to do what I have to do ...

With much love to you all in recovery,

FROM AN ANONYMOUS READER

Kaporos Avonos(forgiveness from sin) without pain.

2011-06-15T21:42:00.000-04:00

To the extent that we feel Hashem's love, we are zocheh to Kaporos Avonos. When we do a sin we build a separation between ourselves and Hashem. When we feel Hashem's love we melt those separations.

from a sefer by Rabbi Tzvi Meyer Silverberg.

To merit a hidden light that no angel can fathom.

2011-06-14T08:54:00.000-04:00

The Chofetz Chaim quotes a midrash which states that every time a person refrains from engaging in forbidden speech, they merit a hidden light that no angel can fathom. And that midrash is talking about a single moment; one can only imagine what lies in store for a person who can hold back from speaking ill of others on a consistent basis. Obviously, we should strive for good behavior simply because it's the right thing to do. But if you need a little incentive, that's a pretty good one.

Remaining silent has divine origins. The Talmud (Gittin 56b) evokes the praise of God following the Second Temple's destruction as "mi kamocha ba'ilmim Hashem" - "Who is like You among the mute ones O God" (this is a play on words of the phrase "mi kamocha ba'eilim Hashem" - "Who is like You among the mighty ones, O God"). It is referencing how God remained silent in the face of the profane conduct of Titus. This is the Creator of the Universe we're talking about - and it's concerning the destruction of His home on earth - and yet He's willing to exercise restraint! All we have to do is let go of our egos a little bit and try in our own small way to emulate God's characteristics when someone happens to say or do something that personally offends us.

Making our displeasure known with those with whom we disagree is often not worth it. Do we really have to get in our two cents every time we come across some subjective difference with a fellow Jew? Even when someone has objectively hurt us in some way, we have to make sure that our subsequent behavior is constructive. Unless we're fairly certain that rebuking them would have a positive effect, it's best to maintain our composure and simply keep quiet. All we can do is make the best decision based on the information we have at the time. Sometimes we'll still make a poor choice despite thinking before speaking, but at least we'll be more cognizant of our behavior and less likely to hurt someone else.

We have to pick our fights in life. There are times when speaking up is extremely important. For example, when it comes to fighting evil - especially something as serious as radical Islamic terrorism - good people of all stripes must speak out and act. But in the micro realm of life, keeping quiet is usually the best way to go. For example, when it comes to relationships between individuals - especially people we see day in and day out - letting things go is often a wise choice. Routinely following this mode of behavior is a great way to keep the peace. We don't have to be passive; we just have to use some self-restraint.

Our generation greatly values people who speak their minds. In many respects, this has been a positive development. However, a better world will only be achieved when silence is valued just as much - if not more. As the proverbial saying goes, "speech is silver; silence is golden."

from:

http://levechad.blogspot.com/2011/06/silence-is-golden.html

Hidden reality.

2011-06-12T00:57:00.001-04:00

Sometimes when we play hide and seek with a baby, the baby thinks you really aren't there if they cant see you. In the same way, we often feel like Hashem is not there because we can not see him. But just like the baby learns that the person was really there, we have to know that Hashem is really there all of the time.
from a Shiur on Naaleh: Perek 39: Gog's End
Teacher: Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller Class: Yechezkel II
Added: May 23, 2011

I have been going through a very difficult time lately. Knowing that nothing is random and everything is from Hashem has kept me going.

Tefillat HaShlah -

2011-06-01T23:36:00.000-04:00

The Shlah wrote that the eve of the first day of the Hebrew month of Sivan is the most auspicious time to pray for the physical and spiritual welfare of one's children and grandchildren, since Sivan was the month that the Torah was given to the Jewish people. He composed a special prayer to be said on this day, known as the Tefillat HaShlah - the Shlah's Prayer.

In 2011, the day for reciting the prayer falls on June 2, 2011, before sunset.

You can find it in Hebrew here:

http://www.shemayisrael.com/orgs/key/shlotfilaheb.htm

and in English here:

http://www.shemayisrael.com/orgs/key/shlotfilaeng.htm

Shavuos

2011-05-31T08:34:00.000-04:00

for personal reasons I have been too busy to post so I am putting a link to previous Shavuos posts:

http://tiforoa.blogspot.com/search/label/Shavuos

The power of Tea

2011-05-19T09:15:00.000-04:00

Since the only free "food" that I have is my herb tea I found this post very inspiring. It is from Shirat Devorah http://shiratdevorah.blogspot.com/2011/05/rebbe-elimelechs-tea-mug.html

Rebbe Elimelech's Tea Mug

Reb Mordechai of Neschiz was a disciple of Rebbe Elimelech. When the Rebbe passed away, Reb Mordechai inherited the Rebbe’s tea mug. The Rebbe would say that when one drinks tea, he is in the spiritual realm of Asiyah, the World of Action, and he can do many things that otherwise he could not do.

Once, a barren woman asked Reb Mordechai to intercede on her behalf to Rebbe Elimelech that he should pray for her to bear children since the doctors had given up hope. “Go to him during tea time,” was Reb Mordechai’s advice. She did and received a blessing. Indeed, Reb Mordechai used to say, “Many barren women were blessed with children because their plight was mentioned to me while I drank tea from Rebbe Elimelech’s mug.”

The holy Rebbe Meir of Premishlan taught that this is hinted at in the prayer “Tehei hasha’ah hazos she’as rachamim — May this time be an auspicious time of mercy.” The word for “may,” תהא, can be read as תה, “tea.” Therefore the prayer can be read: “Tea time is a time of mercy.” In fact, the Gerrer Rebbe, the Chiddushei HaRim, used to say that Reb Mordechai of Neschiz was able to resurrect the dead using the tea mug of his Rebbe, Rebbe Elimelech of Lizhensk.

[Ohel Elimelech 130]

ps: I recently discovered :

Rooibos (Red Bush) is a reddish plant used to make an infusion and grown in South Africa. In the US it is sometimes called red tea. It has many of the antioxidant benefits of green tea, but because it does not come from tea leaves, it has no caffeine.

Join Rav Itamar Shwartz, shlita, the author Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh the week before Shavous to prepare for "Kabbalas haTorah."

2011-05-18T08:51:00.000-04:00

To register for a Intensive Seminar or for additional info please call 516.668.6397 or email info@bilvavi.us

Sunday May 29th - Flatbush -

Intensive Seminar 1:30, 2:45, & 4:00 (3 different shiurim) - Ateres Shloime (29th & K) Flatbush - Men and women are invited – Appointments available before and after - No charge for admission - $20 donation comes with your choice of a CD of MP3s of shiurim by Rav Shwartz or shiurim by Rav Moshe Weinberger teaching Bilvavi and Da Es Atzmecha - $200 donation comes with CD and sefer of your choice. Contact 516-668-6397

Monday May 30th - Monsey -

Memorial Day - Intensive Seminar 3:00, 4:15, & 5:30 (3 different shiurim) NOTE: 5:30 shiur with english translation - Men and women are invited – Ohr Someach, 244 Route 306, Monsey- Appointments available after. No charge for admission - $20 donation comes with your choice of a CD of MP3s of shiurim by Rav Shwartz or shiurim by Rav Moshe Weinberger teaching Bilvavi and Da Es Atzmecha - $200 donation comes with CD and sefer of your choice. Contact 914-645-4199

Tuesday May 31st - Atlanta, GA -

8:30 PM: Drasha at Beth Jacob - 1855 Lavista Road NE, Atlanta - Men and women are invited. Sponsorships still needed. Contact: 404-290-8927

Wednesday June 1 - Boro Park -

8:30 PM: Talmud Torah Toldos Yaakov Yosef Sqvare– 1373 43rd St. (men only) Sponsorships still needed. Contact: 516-668-6397

Thursday June 2nd - Lakewood -

• 8:30 PM: "The Avodah of Chodesh Sivan" @Beis Medresh of Westgate, 49 Radin, Lakewood • 10 PM: Maariv followed by a a siyum and a seuda and a drasha @ Cong. Shemen L'Mincha, 11 Engleberg Terrace, Lakewood. (men only) Contact 732-966-7743

Shabbos - June 4th - Woodmere & Far Rockaway

• 9:30 PM Friday night Oneg Shabbos - Niggunim - at the Nudman's home @361 Sutton Pl., Woodmere • 8 AM Shacharis - drasha after davening - Kahal Nesiv Hatorah – Rav Binyomin Forst: 444 Beach 6th Street, Far Rockaway • Shabbos afternoon drasha 6:45 PM in Congregation Aish Kodesh, Woodmere. Sponsorships still needed. Contact 516-668-6397

INTENSIVE SEMINARS (of three consecutive drashas) in either FLATBUSH or MONSEY. Men and women are invited. No charge for admission - $20 donation comes with your choice of a CD of MP3s of shiurim by Rav Shwartz or shiurim by Rav Moshe Weinberger teaching Bilvavi and Da Es Atzmecha - $200 donation comes with CD and sefer of your choice. For additional info please call 516.668.6397.

The sponsorship for a full drasha is $1,800. Sponsorship for Intensive Seminar is $200.

Contributions are tax deductible pursuant to section 501(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code.

Sponsorships are available for smaller amounts. Please fill in the amount and select which drasha you would like to sponsor. If you would like to dedicate your sponsorship as a merit for someone, please include that in the comments section (In memory of.. In honor of...).

Drashas are delivered in easy to understand Hebrew.

Sale of Bilvavi seforim and CD's at discounted prices at all drashas.

All proceeds dedicated to printing Bilvavi seforim for free distribution.

Computer Needed for a Paralized 15 year old Bochur

2011-05-17T15:56:00.000-04:00

Do you have a computer that you no longer need? Paralized 15 year old bochur is teaching himself graphics to help add meaning to his life.

He needs a Mac Computer with an intel processor to run the software that he needs and his family can not afford to buy him one. Your unused computer can do a huge mitzvah.

if you can help contact npascal@chesed247.org

Hashem Never Ignores our Tefila

2011-05-17T08:20:00.000-04:00

Many times when we daven and we feel like Hashem did not answer our prayers we think that it means that the answer was no. Rabbi Nissel discusses four different ways that Hashem answers our prayers. Sometimes Hashem answers them in the way we want, and sometimes it is in the way that Hashem knows is best for us. For a very inspiring Shiur go to:

Shelanu: 4 Ways That Hashem Answers Your Prayers # NB 678

by Nissel, Rabbi Menachem

http://www.aishaudio.com/search/results.php

We've often heard people say - I asked, but God said no. While this can be an admirable response to the denial of something we desperately want, were our prayers simply cast to the wayside? Rabbi Nissel proves that tefillah really works, even when we think we've gained nothing out of it, showing how answers can be disguised in ways we can't recognize without truly looking carefully.

Don't make other people's problems your own.

2011-05-16T08:37:00.000-04:00

We learn that Hashem gives us the ability to handle our problems. Sometimes we make someone else's problems our own and we feel overwhelmed. We have to remember that Hashem does not give us the strength to handle other people's problems.

from a Shiur by Reb. Heller about Tefilah from Naaleh.

An inspiring quote from Stephen Hawking

2011-05-10T08:49:00.001-04:00

Q. Given all you’ve experienced, what words would you offer someone who has been diagnosed with a serious illness, perhaps A.L.S.?

A. My advice to other disabled people would be, concentrate on things your disability doesn’t prevent you doing well, and don’t regret the things it interferes with. Don’t be disabled in spirit, as well as physically.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/10/science/10hawking.html?pagewanted=2&src=ISMR_AP_LO_MST_FB

What do I want to be on the day of my death?

2011-05-06T11:28:00.000-04:00

In a Shiur by Bilvavi Miskan Evneh, Rav Schwatz spoke about the importance of having goals that you want to meet before you are Niftar. As I listened to my tapes of the Shiur, I kept thinking,"If I reach my goals for the end of the day I am thrilled, how can I possibly know where I want to be when I die". The possibiltiy of meeting a long term goal never seemed real. Now that I have learned how to set a long term goal and follow through, it is waking up new hopes for the future.

Recently I sat next to an older woman at a Simcha. After complementing me on my 86 pound weight loss, she told me that she figures at her age she is going to roll into the grave fat and decrepit, and what difference does it make. This brought me to thinking back about where do I want to be on the day of my death. One thing that I know is that I want to be a person who operates out of thought and not out of desire. I want to make long term plans and goals and stick to them. While I may not always meet my daily goals, I know that there is always tomorrow and with perseverance I can make major changes in my life.

Don't see the world as a finished project, see it as a symphony in progress.

2011-05-05T08:24:00.000-04:00

Look around the world and realize that Hashem is continuing creation at every moment.

from Rebetzin Heller's Daily learning program.

I am more and more impressed with Rebbetzin Heller's daily learning project on Chovot Halevavot. It is brief but focused and it helps you to work on one goal each day for spiritual growth.

BE more. It only takes a few minutes a day!

2011-05-04T22:48:00.000-04:00

•What's stopping YOU from being the person you want to BE?

•What is a deep relationship?

•What does trusting G-d really mean?

http://www.tziporahheller.com/?q=duties-of-the-heart/home

I recently joined a daily learning program from Rebetzin Heller. It is a really excellent program. It is well worth the cost-$14.95 a month. Originally I wanted to go hear her speak this Sunday but it wasn't going to work out with my schedule. Then I realized that I would have spent more then that on gas to get to the Shiur and back, so I decided to treat myself to her daily learning program. I really love it.

The Pin Cushion

2011-05-01T18:44:00.000-04:00

Monday, May 2, is Holocaust Day this year in Israel

In the early summer of 1939, a mere two months before the Nazis invaded Poland, Kaila Burda said to her husband Gamaliel, “I’m at wit’s end. Chasia wants to go to the summer camp with her girlfriends from school. Why not send her?”

“Kaila, these are troubled times. When will you understand that we can’t stay here any longer. Chasia is the only Jewish child in her class. I’d prefer that she stays at home.”

“But she has nothing to do but draw. She sits at home and draws pictures all day long! She needs to be outdoors and play with other children.”

Gamaliel shrugged his shoulders, “It’s not safe, but have it your way…”

Chasia went to summer camp. When her first day was over, she was a bloody mess, escorted home by one of the sixth-grade teachers. “We can’t take responsibility for your daughter,” she said in Polish to the appalled Gamaliel and Kaila on their front doorstep. “She’s the only Jewish girl in our school, and the other little girls know it. They played a game of 'seamstress' and they made your daughter the pin cushion…”

After Kristallnacht in Germany, anti-Semitism in neighboring Poland was fast on the rise too...

Continue reading The Pin Cushion, the amazing story of my own mother,(Rabbi Laser Brody) Chasia, may Hashem bless her with long and healthy days, in this week's issue of Breslev Israel web magazine.
http://www.breslev.co.il/articles/holidays_and_fast_days/holocaust_day/the_pin_cushion.aspx?id=11760&language=english

This story makes me think of Yosef Mokir Shabbos- and reminds us that Hashem is in charge of our financial future.

2011-04-29T17:59:00.000-04:00

FUNATO, Japan – There are no cars inside the parking garage at Ofunato police headquarters. Instead, hundreds of dented metal safes, swept out of homes and businesses by last month's tsunami, crowd the long rectangular building.

Any one could hold someone's life savings.

Safes are washing up along the tsunami-battered coast, and police are trying to find their owners — a unique problem in a country where many people, especially the elderly, still stash their cash at home. By one estimate, some $350 billion worth of yen doesn't circulate.

There's even a term for this hidden money in Japanese: "tansu yokin." Or literally, "wardrobe savings."

So the massive post-tsunami cleanup under way along hundreds of miles (kilometers) of Japan's ravaged northeastern coast involves the delicate business of separating junk from valuables. As workers and residents pick through the wreckage, they are increasingly stumbling upon cash and locked safes.

One month after the March 11 tsunami devastated Ofunato and other nearby cities, police departments already stretched thin now face the growing task of managing lost wealth.

"At first we put all the safes in the station," said Noriyoshi Goto, head of the Ofunato Police Department's financial affairs department, which is in charge of lost-and-found items. "But then there were too many, so we had to move them."

Goto couldn't specify how many safes his department has collected so far, saying only that there were "several hundreds" with more coming in every day.

Identifying the owners of lost safes is hard enough. But it's nearly impossible when it comes to wads of cash being found in envelopes, unmarked bags, boxes and furniture.

Yasuo Kimura, 67, considers himself one of the lucky ones. The tsunami swallowed and gutted his home in Onagawa, about 50 miles (75 kilometers) south of Ofunato. He escaped with his 90-year-old father and the clothes on his back. But he still has money in the bank.

That's not the case for many of his longtime friends and acquaintances, said Kimura, a former bank employee.

"I spent my career trying to convince them to deposit their money in a bank," he said, staring out at his flattened city. "They always thought it was safer to keep it at home."

The number of safes that have turned up in Ofunato alone is a reflection of the area's population: In Iwate prefecture, where this Pacific fishing town is located, nearly 30 percent of the population is over 65.

Many of them keep money at home out of habit and convenience, said Koetsu Saiki of the Miyagi Prefectural Police's financial affairs department. This practice is likely compounded by persistently low interest rates, leaving little financial incentive for depositing money in a bank.

As in Iwate, local police stations in Miyagi are reporting "very high numbers" of safes and cash being turned in.

"It's just how people have operated their entire lives," he said. "When they need money, they'd rather have their money close by. It's not necessarily that they don't trust banks. But there are a lot of people who don't feel comfortable using ATMs, especially the elderly."

A 2008 report by Japan's central bank estimated that more than a third of 10,000-yen ($118) bank notes issued don't actually circulate. That amounts to some 30 trillion yen, or $354 billion at current exchange rates, ferreted away.

What really causes us to suffer in this world?

2011-04-26T22:23:00.000-04:00

Sometimes when things are very difficult, the biggest source of our suffering is our refusal to accept Hashem's agenda for our lives instead of our own. We have to realize that only by surrendering to Hashem's plans for us instead of our own plans can we truly achieve our tikun in this world.

from a Shiur on Aish.com
Shelanu: Discovering Your Personal Freedom # BY 678 B

by Berkovits, Rabbi Yitzchak

http://www.aishaudio.com/search/results.php

Addict-like behavior when it comes to technology- Another reason to apreciate Yom Tov

2011-04-17T20:58:00.000-04:00

Time to turn off everything and tune into the real source of information.

A 2009 study at Stanford University found that, surprisingly, persistent multitaskers perform worse than infrequent ones on tests that require them to jump from task to task. It seems they were more easily distracted by irrelevant information thrown up during the evaluations.

That suggests continual multitasking may impair the filter that keeps our brain from flitting from thing to thing - making it harder to resist, say, the siren song of cat clips.

Some psychiatrists worry that people are increasingly demonstrating addict-like behavior when it comes to technology, unable to ignore its pull, even when it negatively affects them.

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/04/16/BUTO1J0S2P.DTL#ixzz1JpcguKKL

Waiting to get Past the Bitterness of Life

2011-04-17T08:39:00.000-04:00

Once a Jew and a German banded together to go around begging. The Jew taught the German how to pretend to be a Jew (since German and Yiddish are quite similar). This way the Jews, who are kind by nature, would help him.

Pesach was coming, so the Jew taught the German how to behave when invited to someone's home for the Pesach Seder. He explained to him that first they would make the Kiddush and then wash their hands… The one thing that the Jew forgot to mention was the eating of the bitter herbs.

When the German came to the Seder he was ravenous, not having eaten for the whole day. He was gleefully anticipating eating all the good things the Jew had told him about. But at first, all they gave him was a tiny piece of vegetable dipped in saltwater for Karpas, and they carried on reading the Haggadah.

The German was desperately longing for the meal. He was delighted when they started eating the Matzah. But all of a sudden they gave him the Maror, which was terribly bitter in his mouth.

The German thought this was the entire meal, and all they were going to eat was the Maror. He immediately ran out, bitter and hungry, thinking to himself that the Jews were truly cursed. “After all that ceremony, this is what they give to eat?!?” He returned to the synagogue and went to sleep.

Later on the Jew arrived, his face beaming, fully satisfied from eating and drinking. “How was your Seder?” he asked. The German angrily told him what happened.

“Oh you stupid German,” said the Jew. “If you had only waited just a little longer you would have enjoyed the best meal, exactly like me.”

So it is in serving God. After all a person's efforts and exertions to draw closer to God, he is subjected to a little bitterness – because the purification of the body comes through bitterness. The person thinks there will never be anything except bitterness, and immediately runs away.

If he would just be willing to wait a while and endure this little bitterness in order to purify the body, he would later experience every kind of vitality and delight. In serving God, first one experiences the bitterness of the purification of the body, but afterwards one enjoys the vitality.

By Rebbi Nachman of Breslov

from:

http://www.breslev.co.il/articles/holidays_and_fast_days/pesach/the_bitter_herb.aspx?id=15560&language=english

Pesach Inspiration and Enjoyment

2011-04-17T00:07:00.002-04:00

Cinnamon Tea- a healthy natural sweetener

2011-04-15T12:02:00.001-04:00

Place a bottle of Cinnamon Sticks in a pot of water and cook for an hour or two. The water will become cloudy, your house will smell yummy and you can use it to sweeten your herb tea and cooked fruit without artificial sweeteners.

for more abstinent recipes go to: http://tiforoafood.blogspot.com/

Don't miss this remarkable Shiur

2011-04-14T13:41:00.000-04:00

In the rush of preparing for Yom Tov it is easy to miss this Shiur that was recently added to Naaleh.com In it Rebbitzin Heller discusses the lack of unity in the Jewish People and discusses its root causes and how we can overcome the problem. Her insights are inspiring and uplifting.

Tragedy: A Call to Unity

Teacher: Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller

Class: Fogel Family Remembrance Program

Added: April 11, 2011

http://www.naaleh.com/viewclass/2841/single/

Unnecessary attachment to a physical thing.

2011-04-12T19:45:00.000-04:00

As I was turning over my kitchen I remembered something that I read in a Sefer by Bilvavi Miskan Evneh about the pain that we feel separating from the physical world after we die. He mentions that a Tzadik has no problem with this, is is like taking off one set of clothes and putting on another. As I was getting rid of my extra chometz I was thinking about how difficult this has been in past years. It made me feel like I was parting with something of value, that I had invested in and didn't want to get rid of. I realized that this feeling of attachment to a physical thing has caused me unnecessary and silly pain. By emotionally detaching from it, and declaring it valueless in my mind, I could make the turnover much easier.

We have to put more effort into our faith, instead of faith in our own efforts.

2011-04-10T07:46:00.000-04:00

Rav Matisyahu Solomon

Using the spiritual strength of Pesach to free ourselves.

2011-04-10T00:38:00.000-04:00

Pesach is a time of freedom. At this time of the year we are able to use this inherent strength to free ourselves from our Yetzer Harah and from our physical desires.

from: The Shiur on Naaleh: Freedom from Self to Self

Teacher: Mrs. Shira Smiles Class: Jewish Calendar III (Pesach-Shavuot)

Added: March 28, 2011 Time: 59:26

Tolerance for ourselves and for others.

2011-04-10T00:14:00.000-04:00

If one is more honest, he is aware of his good and bad points, and can accept and deal with his faults. What kind of person can best accomplish this? One who has a deep personal connection within himself. Sometimes we are more tolerant with others then with ourselves, because we can't cope with our own faults. But if we have a secure place inside, we can handle a little difficulty. Without it, the faults are too painful.

from the book, "Getting to know your soul" by the author of Bilvavi Miskan Evneh.

This is very helpful advice for working on step four.

Creating an ability to connect.

2011-04-10T00:05:00.000-04:00

When we maintain a connection to our innermost self, we forge a deeper connection to our friends. Even if we don't like someone, we will be able to tolerate him more. Our feeling of ta'anug will give us more ability to connect.

from the book, "Getting to know your soul" by the author of Bilvavi Miskan Evneh.

One of the benefits of joining OA is the focus on developing a connection with my innermost self. While this is a goal that I am working on, I remember that we seek "progress not perfection".

Fear and Joy

2011-04-06T22:21:00.000-04:00

Every time we daven we should be filled with extreme Fear and Joy. Fear is understandable, but what is the Joy? We should be filled with Joy that we have an exclusive audience with the one source that can actually solve our problems.

Heard at a Meeting quoted from "Praying with Fire"

The Zohar refers to matzah as "the bread of faith."

2011-04-06T08:02:00.000-04:00

The centerpiece of Passover is, of course, the matzah. The Zohar refers to matzah as "the bread of faith." Presumably, this is because the Israelites left Egypt in such great haste that they could not take along any provisions, and took only the unleavened dough with them. With trust in God they headed into the barren desert where no food was available. The matzah, therefore, represents the Israelites' faith and trust in God.

Rabbi Zvi Elimelech of Dinov (Bnei Yissaschar) provides an additional insight. The prohibition of chametz on Passover is much harsher than that of other forbidden foods. For example, if a piece of non-kosher meat falls into a pot of kosher food, and the volume of the kosher food is at least 60 times that of the non-kosher meat, the food may be eaten. However, if a tiny crumb of chametz falls into a huge vat of food on Passover, even if the volume is infinitely great -- a million to one -- the entire vat of food is prohibited. The tiniest crumb of chametz cannot be considered negligible.

Bnei Yissaschar explains the difference between chametz and matzah. Matzah is never allowed to be left without someone working it. From the time the flour and water are combined, the dough is kneaded, promptly rolled out, perforated, and baked. Nothing happens to the matzah that is not the direct effect of someone handling it. Not so with chametz, where the ingredients are mixed and then set aside for a period of time to rise. The latter process is spontaneous, occurring without anyone's doing anything to make it rise.

Matzah and chametz, therefore, represent two perspectives. Chametz represents the idea that things can happen by themselves, while matzah symbolizes that nothing happens unless someone makes it happen. There is no spontaneity.

The Torah did not wish to deprive us of bread all year, but when we celebrate our independence and our free will, the matzah reminds us that there is no spontaneity in the world. Everything is at all times under the direct providence of God. Except for the choice in behavior, of moral and ethical acts that God assigned to man, there is not even the tiniest occurrence that is spontaneous. The Baal Shem Tov was very emphatic about this, saying that if someone digs into sand, each of the millions of grains of sand falls into the place where God wills it to be. Not even the placement of a grain of sand is without design.

Matzah, therefore, symbolizes that everything in the world, great and small, is under the direction of God. That is why the Zohar refers to matzah as "the bread of faith."

from Rabbi Abraham Twerki

http://www.torah.org/features/holydays/emotionalSlavery.html

Thanks again Lynda

Emotional Slavery

2011-04-06T07:57:00.000-04:00

by R' Abraham Twerski MD

Many families gather together for the Passover Seder. They eat the matzah and the bitter herbs, drink the four cups, and recite the Haggadah. The house is free of all chametz. In our prayers we refer to Passover as "the festival of liberation." These are wonderful mitzvot. But, what do we take from Passover into our daily lives?

It should be obvious that Passover is more than a kind of Independence Day celebration. Who prepares for an Independence Day two weeks in advance, making the house chametz-free to a degree of operating-room sterility, replacing all dishes and cookware, and having a sharply restricted diet for eight days?

The deeper significance of Passover occurred to me when a recovering drug addict told me that when his father began reciting the Haggadah at the Seder, and said, "Avadim hayinu (we were slaves)," he interrupted him. "Abba," he said, "can you truthfully say that you were a slave? Your ancestors were slaves, but you don't know what it means to be a slave. I can tell you what it is like to be a slave. All the years that I was on drugs, I had no freedom. I had to do whatever my addiction demanded. I did things that I never thought I was capable of doing, but I had no choice, no free will. I was the worst kind of slave."

This is a precious insight. Slavery is not limited to a despotic Pharaoh or a slave owner. A person can lose his freedom and be a slave to himself, to his habits and negative character traits. A person who cannot break free from cigarettes is a slave, as is someone who cannot break free from gambling, from excess food, from the Internet, and even from the office.

A person whose self-concept is dependent on what others think of him, or whose behavior is totally determined by what he thinks others want him to be, he, too, has no freedom. He is not free to do what he thinks is right and proper, but what others think is right and proper. Anytime one loses control of any aspect of one's behavior, one is a slave.

The entire Haggadah is essentially a text on breaking free from all forms of enslavement, internal as well as external.

This understanding of Passover and the Exodus explains why we have an entire week of celebrating independence. For political independence, one day of parades, picnics, and fireworks suffices. For the realization of obtaining true personal freedom, an entire week of contemplation is necessary...

thank you Lynda for sending me this link!

A Dose of Tranquility for Pesach Cleaning-Dealing with BREAD CRUMBS durring Pesach Cleaning.

2011-04-05T10:26:00.001-04:00

What about bread crumbs on your kitchen floor? There are various opinions in halacha, but I'm going to present one in particular that is easier to understand. We established that the third category -- "garbage" -- is defined as anything that cannot ferment another dough, and is so non-edible that even a dog wouldn't eat it. According to most halachic authorities, there is one more substance that is defined as "garbage": Chametz that is smaller than a kezayit (about 30 grams) and you would not use it for anything. This is something most people call "garbage" -- you would easily throw it away and in your mind it's nothing. Crumbs fit into this category. The only kind of crumb that's problematic is one you'd pick up with your finger and put on your tongue. So leftover crumbs from the table are in fact "chametz." Leftover crumbs on the floor, which you wouldn't eat, are garbage. Therefore, any crumb that you would consider dirt (and is smaller than a kezayit) does not have to be gotten rid of. (The fact that a baby eats it does not turn it into chametz. Because when a baby decides to eat something, it is not a conscious decision that "this is food." If you have non-food around, a baby will eat that, too!) from: Pesach Cleaing made easy: By knowing what and how to clean, Passover cleaning needn't be a chore. by Rabbi Yitzchak Berkovits http://www.aish.com/h/pes/l/48970611.html

Nissan a time for rejuvenation.

2011-04-04T10:01:00.001-04:00

Rosh Chodesh Nissan, the new Hebrew month of Nissan begins this year Monday at sundown and Tuesday, April 5, 2010.

It’s been a rough winter, not only in Israel, but around the world. The natural dreary feeling of the year’s frosty months became even more acute as a result of natural disasters around the world, political unrest in the Arab world, and a sharp increase of terrorist activity within Israel. Yet, there’s no need to despair. Hashem gave us a special gift, a remarkable time for rejuvenation known as Rosh Chodesh Nissan, the first day of the Hebrew month of Nissan.

The very first commandment that Hashem gave to the Jews as a people was to establish Nissan Nissan as the first month of the year (see Exodus 12: 1-2). The first day of the Hebrew month of Nissan is also the date when the Mishkan – the temporary portable Temple that was used in the desert – was inaugurated. Nissan therefore has an innate quality that’s conducive to rejuvenation.

from: http://lazerbrody.typepad.com/lazer_beams/

Natural Therapy

2011-04-04T08:34:00.000-04:00

In our recent OA convention they had a Yoga Laughter therapist come for a session of Laughter Therapy. This Shabbos I was treated to the real thing. My granddaughter turned to me and said, "Smile, and Smile and Smile again" Then she broke out into hysterical laughing until I was laughing along with her. She kept doing it all Shabbos. It is amazing how much a little laughter can make you feel good. TRY IT YOU'LL LOVE IT! It can really take away some of the pre-Pesach stress.

THE WISDOM OF THE TALMUD

2011-04-01T11:52:00.000-04:00

Each morning when we arise, we say a special prayer - "Elokei neshamah" - thanking HaShem for granting us our holy soul. The prayer begins with the words: "My G-d, the soul which You have given me is pure; You created it, You formed it, You breathed it within me..." (Brachos 60b)

The word "soul" in this prayer refers to and includes the three ascending levels of the soul. Namely, (1) nefesh - the seat of our earthly drives, (2) ru'ach - the spiritual forces within, and (3) neshamah - the holy essence of the pure soul. Accordingly, "You created it" refers to the nefesh; "You formed it" refers to the ru'ach; and "You breathed within me" - refers to the neshamah.

The three levels of the soul span the spectrum from the base instincts of nature to the highest levels of purity and holiness. In light of this, we have the capacity to elevate ourselves from the lesser instincts to the highest virtues of character.

As we navigate our path in life, there is a clear way to determine which aspect of the soul is prominent. The nefesh seeks pleasure whereas the neshamah desires only to give pleasure and benefit to others.

Each morning as we arise we begin a new chapter in our life's journey. The Elokai haneshamah prayer guides us to attain the proper spiritual orientation. We reflect on the ascending levels of our soul - and uplift ourselves - to our holy essence.

We define ourselves by deciding to draw from our neshama - the highest and most authentic identity of the self. As we go through the day, we continue to elevate ourselves by actively choosing to serve others in each situation. Each time that we assume the giving mode we strengthen our soul and elevate ourselves a little bit higher.

May each daily recitation of the Elokai haneshamah prayer, help us to discover new vistas of our holy soul,

[Based on the M'harsha to Brachos 60b and Mictav M'Eliyahu]

thank you to Lynda for sending this to me.

TODAY: Stretch to reach for your highest inner goodness - a holy entity of pure kindness.

from: The Salant Foundation

By knowing what and how to clean, Passover cleaning needn't be a chore.

2011-03-30T08:27:00.000-04:00

There are so many Passover preparations that are done unnecessarily, where if you want to do them for extra credit, that's fine. But it's important to understand what is necessity and what is voluntary.

from "Passover cleaning made easy" on Aish.com by Rabbi Yitzchak Berkowitz

for the details go to:

http://www.aish.com/h/pes/l/48970611.html

True Freedom

2011-03-29T23:33:00.001-04:00

Pesach is a time of freedom. What is freedom? Is it to be free to do whatever you want? No, it is to be free to do the right thing, Hashem's will. Hashem took us out of Egypt to become his people, to do his Mitzvot, not to do what ever we want. Freedom brings responsibility.

How free do you want to be. Do you want to be weighed down by your old baggage, that prevents you from doing the right thing, or do you want to be truly free?

We can use the power of the month of Nisan to be truly free to do Hashem's will.

From an OA meeting.
I am reposting this, this year because it really talks to me.

Our focus-

2011-03-29T23:23:00.000-04:00

Everything that Hashem gives us is not given for our physical pleasure, but to help us to grow spiritually. This has to be our focus when we make decisions.

from: Parshat Tazriah: Narrow Vision

Teacher: Mrs. Shira Smiles Class: Parsha Topics - 5768

Yosef Simcha ben Zakah Basya

2011-03-28T12:00:00.001-04:00

had brain surgery -please daven for him! I heard that he has woken up from the surgery and they are waiting for further results. Please continue to daven for him.

A women's Spiritual Growth

2011-03-27T22:25:00.000-04:00

The process of a man's spiritual growth is Torah and Yiras Shamayim. learning Shas in breadth and depth-while the process of a woman's spiritual growth consists of just one thing: to be for Hashem alone.

from the book, "Nefesh Chaya" by Rav Shimshon Dovid Pincus

The nature of fear

2011-03-27T22:07:00.000-04:00

Sefer Avrei Nachal tells us (Parshat Vayeitzei), "Fear is like a magnet that attracts metal. It has the ability to direct the object of a person's fear toward that person. As the Passuk says (Iyov 3:25) "that which I feared has overtaken me." That is the nature of fear:it draws forth the object of our dread and makes it real."

...A person does not protect himself, only Hashem can protect him. Fear serves no useful purpose for man. It merely intensifies our negative emotions and can potenially bring adversity upon us.

from "It's all in your Mind" by Sara Yosef

The more that I read of this book the more that I see just how well it strengthens the message of OA. In the fourth step we examine our fears and look at how they are effecting us. Rebbetzin Yosef sums it up so well.

The danger of becoming involved in any dispute

2011-03-25T10:58:00.001-04:00

is that it is often difficult to know which side is right. What one side sees as a valid complaint, the other may see as nonsense. As the saying goes, “There are two sides to every story.”

How, then, does one handle this kind of situation? The Chofetz Chaim cautions us, “Ponder the matter carefully, in accordance with the laws of the Torah and [only then] decide which side is the baal machlokes (instigator of strife).” Apparently, the Chofetz Chaim is telling us to consult someone whois learned and, with his guidance, sift slowly and carefully through the information to determine if one of the disputants can be classified as a baal machlokes.

This is not an easy task. The Chofetz Chaim says that if, after examining the situation carefully, we cannot determine which side is guilty, then we should refrain from becoming involved.

If, on the other hand, we have determined that one of the parties is a baal machlokes, then the Torah allows us to publicly voice our condemnation of this person as a means of convincing him to end the dispute. We are speaking specifically of a case where the baal machlokes will most likely back away from the battle when he realizes that public opinion is against him. On the other hand, if this person is impervious to public opinion, then there is no constructive purpose in publicly declaring him a baal machlokes, and doing so would constitute speaking loshon hora.

The Chofetz Chaim lists three additional prerequisites before one speaks against a baal machlokes:

1. One must have accurate firsthand information regarding the dispute.

2. One’s intention must be strictly for a constructive purpose and not because he happens to dislike this person. If a previous animosity exists, one is not allowed to become involved. This point will be clarified later in this volume (see Day 83).

3. Obviously, if one can speak privately to the baal machlokes and convince him to desist, then that is the path which one is required to take. However, the Chofetz Chaim recognizes that in the case of the baal machlokes, rebuke may be a double-edged sword. By rebuking him in private one may lose his status as an impartial party and become aligned in the instigator’s mind with his enemies. The instigator may then move quickly to thwart any attempts to rebuke him publicly. If this scenario seems to be a real possibility, then one should not attempt to rebuke the baal machlokes in private.

from:
dcompanion@chofetzchaimusa.org

Moshe Sharon has left a new comment on your post "What’s happening in the world, and why?":

2011-03-24T08:30:00.000-04:00

The Parsha Shemini is about the completion of the inauguration of the Tabernacle. The number seven represents all things occurring within the natural construct of this finite world, while the number eight represents all things beyond nature, or infinity. According to Rashi, the eighth day was the day of re-establishing the eternal connection with the Almighty that we had lost when we stumbled and fumbled with the golden calf. Here at the beginning of this portion, we are witness to the momentous occasion of our reconciliation with our Creator, who is beyond all things natural and supernatural. Once Aaron had achieved atonement with the final offerings of the eighth day, the Shechina descended into full view and all of the people fell on their faces. G-d resumed His place among His people. Thus the Torah reminds us that we are a Holy people whose very existence as a nation is beyond nature. Therefore, the prime minister would do well to remember that G-d is the Guardian of Israel and that destroying Jewish homes gives the impression to our enemies that the Israeli government has abandoned the Jewish people who remained in Samaria leaving at the mercy of the Arab cutthroats. The only way to prevent more killing is for the Israeli politicians to back up the Jewish heroes who are establishing their homes on Jewish land in the face of Arab hatred and, worse yet, Israeli government apathy. More at http://moshesharon.wordpress.com

Shelanu: Solution Oriented Communication

2011-03-24T08:16:00.000-04:00

This Shiur by Dr. Shulem Boruch is so powerful that I can not recommend it enough. It is from Aish.com.
You go to the speakers part and search on Shulem, Dr. Boruch. It is one of the Shiurim from Aish that you can listen to for free.

The advice that he gives can really make a difference in your life.

http://www.aishaudio.com/search/results.php

“I wish I hadn’t cried so much!” said Alice . . . “I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by being drowned in my own tears!”

2011-03-22T15:34:00.000-04:00

Self Pity gets us no where. Simcha is a middah and not a response to an event.

Am Segula !!

2011-03-21T08:01:00.001-04:00

Every day of Shiva – Rami Levi ( who owns one of the larger supermarket chains in Israel) comes by the shiva house in Itamar and fills the cupboards and refrigerator himself with food for the family and guests.

Today - one of the relatives expressed their appreciation to him and he said you will get used to my face. I have committed myself that every week I will deliver food and stock your home until the youngest orphan turns 18 years old.

What’s happening in the world, and why?

2011-03-15T09:44:00.000-04:00

What’s the connection between the chaos in the camps of Ishmael in the Middle East (which will eventually spread to the camps of Ishmael in Europe and other points west) and between all the natural disasters? The answer is simple: the earth is trembling, and all the trembling are Messianic labor pains. As in labor before childbirth, the world now experiences excruciating contractions and pains, which ultimately lead to the birth of a new and more spiritual world, the world of Moshiach, Redemption, and our Holy Temple, soon and in our days, amen. That’s why our sages called this era chevlei Moshiach, or the era of Messianic labor pains, for the challenges of this generation resemble the pains of childbirth.

In light of the above, we should ask ourselves two questions:

1. What’s our task with all the chaos surrounding us?

2. How can we safely weather these difficult times?

from

http://lazerbrody.typepad.com/lazer_beams/

We are witnessing a cosmic lesson in humility.

2011-03-15T07:57:00.000-04:00

The animalistic tendency of man is being checked and subdued. A force far greater is reminding us of the higher purpose of creation: “And it was good.” When we make it less good, it comes to bite us. ‘ The Kabbalistic teachings describe the physical features of life as shards of a broken Divine container that humans have been given the privilege to raise up and restore. And not just a privilege – but an absolute duty, loosely described as Tikkun Olam – the 613 Mitzvot that repair the world.

Jewish people have a 3500 year tradition of response to supreme adversity. It is called Teshuva – returning to the norm. In the place of fear and repair, the onlooker of tragedy has to visit his/her own heart and commit to a life of high values, true Hessed (compassion), real nurture of family and friendship, meaningful contribution to the welfare of others and community, and expression of real love – even for the stranger.

Read the signs well and make a change in your life. The tsunamic flood seeks a Noachide response of principle and brotherhood - Ahavat Yisrael.

by Laibl Wolf

Creating your own personal Megilah

2011-03-14T16:48:00.000-04:00

This Purim you should create your own personal Megilah. Look back at your life and see the tragedies that turned into Bracha. Write it down and celebrate it. This will help you to be strong going forward because it helps you to appreciate that Hashem has a plan for us, and it may not feel good while it is happening, but we can often look back and appreciate that his plan is for our good.

from a Shiur by Rabbi Berkowitz about Purim

Who is causing your problems?

2011-03-14T16:41:00.000-04:00

When a stone is thrown to a dog, the dog will attack the stone without diffferantiating that there really is a person behind this action. ( he is basically thinking the stone hurt him)

The Chovos Halevovos states: that a believing Jew knows that no human power has the ability to hurt him only if it was decreed from Shomoyim that he has to go through pain.

This means that anytime a human being is hurt, belittled, pained, wounded by another person, he is only a Shaliach and our anger to him changes into Pity that Hashem has Chosen him as a Shaliach.

If a person is not succesfull in some accomplishment, it is because he has doubts about it and doesn't belief fully in the issue he is trying to accomplish.

2011-03-14T16:38:00.000-04:00

It would not dawn upon a believing Jew to pick up Dairy after having eating Meat, because he is convinced and knows this is Halacha and there is no other choice.

This is exactly the principle of OA. If I truly belief that I am powerless over food, If I truly belief Step one: I have a chance to recover, however as long as I doubt it, and I think there might be another way I will pick up.

Heard in the name of Rav Shach.Z"L

"We live in a Sesame Street world"

2011-03-10T21:24:00.001-05:00

We live in a world were we are bombarded by information from so many sources, and at such a quick rate that we do not internalize the information that we receive. We are always looking to move on and to hear and learn more. Our children might "know" a lot about Tehillim, but our grandmothers knew how to cry over a Sefer Tehillim.

We have to learn to slow down, and internalize what we are learning.
from the Shiur on Naaleh: Adar: Achieving Alignment
Teacher: Mrs. Shira Smiles Class: Jewish Calendar II (Chanukah and Purim)
Added: March 07, 2011 Time: 60:18

It is interesting that 27 years ago I decided to get rid of our television because of Sesame Street. I watched my child watching it and decided that I don't want some stranger deciding how and what to teach my child.

"Hashem Gave Me Back My Licther"

2011-03-10T13:49:00.000-05:00

Sometimes we feel like we are all alone in the world. It is times like this when Hashem often sends us a clear message that he is still with us. The following story happened while I was there so I can vouch for it being a true story.

A tzedakah agency held a Chinese auction. They spoke to the women who won the silver candlestick about her claiming the prize. She said that she had just separated from her husband and he had taken back her lichter. By winning this prize, she felt that Hashem had given them back.

Some people see the glass as half empty, they hear this story and get upset at the man who took it away. I like to look at the glass as half full, and see that even when a person hurts another, Hashem caused some measure of healing.

Connecting to the Source from Bilvavi Miskan Evneh

2011-03-05T21:41:00.000-05:00

There will always be challenges, and there is no guarantee of success, but if we are more connected to the source, it will be much easier.

The innermost point of the soul can not only help you cope with problems, it can also become a source for new strength. If we would stay in touch with that source, we would be less confused, just as water is clearer the closer it is to its source. Mort important than this peace is the ability to build yourself up on a calm foundation. The other forces of the soul will draw you away from the source at different times, but we shouldn't wait until we become confused and doubtful before we return to it.

from "Getting to Know your Soul" by Bilvavi Miskan Evneh. page 88

Real growth comes from connecting to Hashem, everyone in OA knows that real success comes from connecting to Hashem and admitting that we are powerless, and turning to Hashem for help.

Using our unique talents.

2011-03-04T11:26:00.000-05:00

Every Jew is gifted with a unique ability, quality, or special power has a responsibility to use it in a productive way to help the Jewish people. This is what Mordechai told Esther and this is what we need to learn for our own lives, whether in our professional, personal, or general interactions with people.

from: Purim Inspiration: Esther’s Role

Based on a Naaleh.com shiur by Rabbi Beinish Ginsburg

2011-03-01T15:16:00.000-05:00

In this week's Parsha parshat Pikudei in says the following

"Vekavod Hashem maleh es Hamishkon"

Rav Tzadok Hakohen explains the following:

When (a jew) merits to uproot the yetzer hara from his heart, that heart becomes a dwelling place for the Shechina...

We can translate this to our program, By staying abstinent we create a void,an emptiness and an opportunity to fill it with Ruchnius

from this week's Binah Magazine

SERVE Hashem with Joy

2011-02-27T14:34:00.000-05:00

Rabbi Wachsman points out that we often forget the first part of the Pasuk, to serve Hashem. The true source of joy is in truly serving Hashem properly, and this brings joy. Many people think that they can sit back waiting for events to bring them joy, but this is a mistake. When we proactively look for ways to serve Hashem properly, this will bring us joy.

from a Shiur by Rabbi Wachsman on the Chazak line, in the section for Adar.

Guarding against the voice of the Yetzer Hara.

2011-02-27T00:03:00.001-05:00

One of the most effective voices of the Yetzer Hara is to tell us that we can't have the one thing that we really want. The snack convinced Chava to eat the fruit of the Etz Hadas. Haman couldn't be happy because Mordechai wouldn't bow down to him.

from a Shiur by Rabbi Ari Kahn -- "The Story of Esther Hidden and Revealed"

We always have to be on guard against the feeling of lack, because it can bring us to sin.

You can listen to this inspiring Shiur for free by going to:
http://www.rabbiarikahn.com/

Shabbos Protects us.

2011-02-24T17:49:00.000-05:00

Good Shabbos Everyone. The negotiations were taking much longer than expected. Two representatives of a real estate conglomerate were trying to complete the purchase of an office building in downtown Mexico City, but the lawyers were discussing the details slowly and meticulously. Every office had to be inspected, the insurance policies verified, and the terms of payment specified to the last penny.

Jacobo Sherem, the managing partner of the owners' group, was desperate to complete the transaction. With every passing moment, he was becoming more impatient and exasperated.

An architect by profession, Jacobo had been trying to sell this particular office building for months, so that he could finally turn a profit on his investment. He had designed, bought and sold buildings in the past, but this building on Calle Presa Salinillas had been his biggest investment, and so far it had been a losing proposition for his group. Due to the depressed financial climate in Mexico, most of the office space was unoccupied.

As the hours passed, Jacobo became increasingly nervous. The buyers had told him unequivocally that they were leaving Mexico on the first plane out the next morning, which was Saturday. They would not delay their trip. If they could complete the purchase that day, that would be wonderful; otherwise they would cancel the negotiations and move on to prospective deals in other countries.

It was the late hour of the day, Friday, that was putting pressure on Jacobo. For the last year he had been attending evening study classes in the Aram Tzovah Kollel in the Polanco section of Mexico City. He studied Torah a few nights a week, but he was not as yet shomer Shabbos (Sabbath observant). After many discussions and much introspection and inspiration from avreichim (kollel members) at Aram Tzovah, Jacobo and his wife Sophia were inching closer to total commitment to Shabbos observance. Jacobo had already started going to shul every Friday night and his office was closed on Shabbos, but he and Sophia were not yet complete Sabbath observers.

Frustrated at being so close to, yet so far from, fulfilling his dream of selling the building, Jacobo looked at his watch and saw that there was less than an hour and a half to Shabbos. Reluctantly he told the prospective buyers that the negotiations would have to continue Sunday or Monday - he had to leave and close his office. The buyers threatened that it was now or never, for they were flying out of the country the next day. But Jacobo would not budge. Shabbos was coming. He hadn't missed a Friday night in shul in weeks and he wasn't going to miss tonight. The buyers were incredulous that Jacobo would scuttle a deal that would lift him out of the financial doldrums, but he would not be moved. The parties to the negotiations bid each other a final farewell, and Jacobo went home to prepare for Shabbos.

He couldn't help but second guess himself. Had he acted correctly? There would be other Shabbosos when he would be in the synagogue, but now he might never be able to sell this building that was becoming an albatross around his financial holdings. He tried to enjoy the Shabbos, but it was difficult. An internal debate raged in his mind. He was proud of his commitment but he wondered if it was worth the price.

Two weeks later, early Thursday morning, September 19, 1985, (during the Selichos of Aseres Yemei Teshuvah) Mexico was struck by the greatest tragedy in its history. In a matter of seconds, a monstrous, rumbling earthquake gashed and shook Mexico City, toppling buildings, swallowing homes, wreaking havoc and bringing instantaneous death to thousands of people! Within 24 hours, as the country staggered to adjust to the shock and magnitude of the Thursday tragedy, an aftershock staggered the city. The number of people killed in these earthquakes reached a shocking 4,541. Another 14,236 were injured and 2,637 required hospitalization. In the downtown district there was utter devastation. People searched in vain for relatives and friends, but it was mostly for naught. The destruction, mayhem and sorrow was beyond imagination.

Yet, amidst all the devastation, one building remained standing - the one Jacobo couldn't sell. Its windows were blown out and some of the facade of the building had peeled off, but remarkably it was structurally sound. The Mexican government had to regroup. Aid and rescue efforts had to be directed and coordinated. People needed the assurance that the government was functioning and accessible. Thus within days of the earthquakes, Jacobo's building, conveniently located downtown, was checked for its strength and stability.

When it passed inspection, the government bought most of the offices in the building and the remaining space was sold to large corporations who had lost their offices when other buildings collapsed or were deemed unsafe. Jacobo's extraordinary profit was far beyond what he would have made had he sold the building weeks before. The deals for his building propelled Jacobo into a category of wealth he never imagined.

The Hashgachah Pratis (Divine Providence) of the Shabbos not allowing him to sell the building propelled him into being a total Shabbos observer. Jacobo and Sophia never told the story to anyone. Word got out that their building was sold to the government, but no one in the community knew about the frantic Friday negotiations two weeks before the earthquakes, and Jacobo's decision to close his office for Shabbos.

Years later, in the palatial lobby of his new magnificent office building, Jacobo and Sophia tendered a grand party in honor of his first completion of a Talmudic tractate, which he had studied for several years with Rabbi Shea Deutsch (now teaching in Lakewood, N.J.) at the Aram Tzovah Kollel. There, in the presence of rabbis, community leaders and friends, Jacobo told the story that changed his life. (Reflections of the Maggid, Rabbi P. Krohn p. 193)

We read about the holiness of Shabbos in this week's parsha Vayakhel. As it states in the verse "On six days, work may be done, but the seventh day shall be holy for you, a day of complete rest for Hashem; whoever does work on it shall be put to death." (Shemos 35:2)

Shabbos is the paradigm of Judaism. Why is that so? Because on Shabbos, we must control our actions, speech, and thought, the three realms of behavior. We may not do certain actions on Shabbos, such as driving, which involves lighting fires. We may not speak about certain topics on Shabbos such as business dealings. And it is preferable not even to think about weekday activities on Shabbos. Thus, Shabbos trains us to control our behavior in life. Therefore, Shabbos is the paradigm of Judaism. Because the essence of Judaism is modifying our behavior to live according to Hashem's rules, not our own rules.
from Good Shabbos Everyone.

Don't cross this line!

2011-02-22T14:46:00.000-05:00

Libya Remains on UN Human Rights Panel as It Bombs Civilians

2011-02-22T10:53:00.000-05:00

Just a reminder that Hashem rules the world and Kings and Princes are subject to his will.

We were not placed in this world to change things,

2011-02-21T18:29:00.000-05:00

rather we are here for the sake of the journey. Only Hashem sustains the world and is “koneh ha’kol.” Your responsibility is to become more similar to Hashem by assisting and supporting everything that’s within your reach, but not more. This indeed is why our great leaders never get tired of constantly giving. They have bitachon in Hashem’s capacity to bring about the ultimate tikun and they content themselves with doing whatever they can.

Excerpted from Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller’s Question and Answer series on Naaleh.com

The true source

2011-02-21T08:26:00.000-05:00

Ain od milvado-there is nothing other then Hashem. We have to be aware that the only true eminations in this world are coming from Hashem and everything else is an artificle distraction from true reality

from a Shiur by Rebbetzin Heller on Aish.com

Give someone a smile today.

2011-02-15T13:46:00.000-05:00

It is a greater thing to give someone a smile then a glass of milk. One of the most important ways to grow spiritually is to feel good about yourself. When a person feels good about themselves they have confidence that they can grow. By helping another person to feel good about them self we are helping them to grow.

from a Shiur by Rabbi Orlowek, "Stategies of the Yetzer Harah"

Every Mitzvah is priceless.

2011-02-15T13:30:00.000-05:00

No good dead or thought is small or insignificant. Good deads effect our netzach, our eternity. The proper understanding of the reward for a mitzvah is that it will benifit a person eternally. Even the smallest sliver of eternity is priceless, so therefore the smallest mitzvah is priceless.

from a Shiur by Rabbi Orlowek, "Stategies of the Yetzer Harah"

Asher Yatzar: a source of healing, a treasure in our daily lives.

2011-02-15T10:34:00.000-05:00

This Beracha is said as an expression of gratitude to Hashem, for the marvelous structure and functioning of the human body. In this Beracha, we acknowledge to Hashem that the properly functioning, healthy body is a marvelous gift from Hashem to man.

If one says this Beracha with proper intent, it can be a great source of Yiras Shamayim, Emunah and Bitachon.

The Chafetz Chaim and other Great Sages write that the saying of Asher Yatzar with the proper intent and from writing has the power to help one have a healthy body all of his life. There are many people who were saved from a severe illness by saying this Beracha from a written page with the proper intent.

Emuna has two sides

2011-02-14T16:12:00.000-05:00

– just as we believe in Hashem, we must believe in ourselves and in our genuine desires to get close to Hashem...
People fall into depression and despair because they don’t realize that their main job is desire. A totally crass bumpkin can become a Rebbe Akiva if his desires for holiness are strong enough. Rebbe Akiva was an illiterate laborer, the son of converts. Yet, according to the Gemara, he surpassed Moses. With enough desire, anyone can become a Moses or a Rebbe Akiva.

By: Rabbi Shalom Arush read the rest of the article at
http://www.breslev.co.il/articles/spirituality_and_faith/personal_growth/every_last_drop.aspx?id=18320&language=english

Don't Ruin the Sefer Torah

2011-02-14T15:24:00.000-05:00

Every Jew is like a letter in the Torah. One who culls another Jew is therefore ruining the Torah scroll, because one ruined letter renders the entire Torah scroll unfit...

Since we don’t yet love each other, the Holy Temple remains destroyed. Hashem would much rather have us love each other than pound our chests in lamentations.

from Rabbi Lazer Brody--read the complete article at:

http://www.breslev.co.il/articles/judaism/concepts_in_judaism/the_picnic.aspx?id=18321&language=english

Being all that you can be

2011-02-10T14:33:00.000-05:00

When you think of what your personal goals actually are, there is always some degree of tension between what you want to be and who you are. Going into the never-never-land of pretending that you actually are the person you would like to be takes a toll. You have to face up to your imperfections, and most of us respond to that with guilt, and ultimately with resentment. The other alternative to some seems to be to look at the goal as being so far away and inaccessible that it isn't worth fighting the good fight to get there.

from Rebetzin Heller's Blog to read more http://www.tziporahheller.com/?q=blog/being-all-you-can-be

Our lives are full of treasures that we do not appreciate.

2011-02-09T16:40:00.000-05:00

We are all like peddlers; if everybody would believe in what they're selling, they'd sell all their merchandise at a premium price. A salesperson can't possibly sell his or her own wares if he or she doesn't believe in the quality of their own merchandise.

The same goes for our own prayer and Torah. If we'd believe that Hashem derives limitless gratification from every word of Torah that we learn, we'd be plowing away in Torah all day long. If we'd believe that Hashem stops everything He's doing to listen to the voice of a person that prays to Him, we'd be praying with super enthusiasm; people would flock to the synagogues, and nobody would have to tell the people to stop the idle chatter. If you had an audience before a great king, no one would have to tell you not to talk to the butler at the same time. A person would be crazy to do so.

As such, we put little effort into Torah and prayer because we don't believe in their power, and we don't believe in our own power...

With self esteem, when you realize that every minute of your life is important because of what you're capable of accomplishing every single second, is it logical to squander time. When all the money in the world can't pay for the smallest mitzvah, is it wise to chase money?

One of the things we look forward to in the full Redemption of our people is the restoration of our national self-esteem, when people will be proud to don the crown of Torah, speedily in our days, amen.

By: Rabbi Shalom Arush from Breslev.co.il

An inspiring Dvar Torah from Rav Pinchus

2011-02-08T15:32:00.001-05:00

When WHen a person is immersed in a tza'ar, hashem is truly with him and shares the tza'ar. If a person would have been able to see what is really going on in heaven at that time he would see the following; He would see ... the shechina..on the .. sarfei kodesh. all this in a time of tza'ar. He goes further and says it is those moments we should seize to daven and beg to hashem because those times are times of sha'as ratzon and the place he is standing is like the beth hamikdash and the tefilos are mekubal.

Thank you Rivkie for sending this to me.

Spiritual realities changing the physical world.

2011-02-07T13:46:00.000-05:00

Why do we make a Purim Seuda, when the source of the problem on Purim was that the Jews went to the Seuda of Achasveiros. The answer is that when the Jews did Teshuva from Ahavah. it was counted as if they did a mitzvah and not an aveirah. This shows us not just the importance of Teshuvah, but that physical things can change from spiritual realities.

from a Shiur by Rebbetzin Heller about Purim on Aish.com

Another reason not to speak Loshon Hara.

2011-02-04T11:17:00.000-05:00

The Chofetz Chaim teaches that speaking negatively of an older sibling, a step-parent or, God forbid, a father or mother, is not only loshon hora, it is a violation of the commandment “Honor your father and mother (Shemos 20:12)”. There is also a curse applied to children who show parents disrespect: “Cursed is he who degrades his father or mother” (Devarim 27:16).

One of the primary reasons Hashem created the family unit was so that it could be a workshop, a place for the neshamah (soul) to develop. The home is where we learn to be less self-centered, where we develop a love of chesed (kindness) towards others. When the laws of shmiras halashon guide the family’s interactions, each neshamah which this “workshop” produces can develop to its full, rich potential.

from: dcompanion@chofetzchaimusa.org

Why does Hashem want us to build a Miskan?

2011-02-03T21:28:00.000-05:00

Why does Hashem care about a physical thing? To teach us that the source of everything is Hashem. To teach us not to see the physical world as being separate from the spiritual world. We may be tempted to think that the physical world is unrelated to the spiritual world, but in actuality, the whole world is connected to Hashem.

from a Shiur by Rabbi Kirzner on Aish.com about Parshat Terumah