The power of a nurturing relationship.

Try and remember the person that had the greatest influence on your life. Maybe it was a teacher, a relative, a grandparent, a spiritual guide or a military commander. Notice that this particular person had certain qualities that you adored, even though he or she wasn't always easy on you. Let's reconstruct those qualities and put them down on paper:

1. You had no doubt that this person categorically cared about you and only wanted the best for you.

2. This person believed in you completely, even when you failed to believe in yourself.

3. This person always seemed to know how you feel.

4. This person was a great listener.

from http://lazerbrody.typepad.com/lazer_beams/

When I read this I realized that this is a perfect description of a good sponsor.  This is one of the most powerful success tools of the 12 step program.  I am so grateful to Hashem for sending me a great sponsor.

The importance of discipline.

We learn that we have to emulate the ways of Hashem. Hashem disciplines us in many ways. We know that when bad things happen to us personally or as a nation Hashem is not showing us that he does not love us he is guiding us in the right direction. To show our love to our children and our students we need to set limits and natural consequences. This may be hard for us to do but it is essential for them to learn to grow in the right direction.

From a shiur by a Rebbetzin who wishes to remain anonymous.

In OA we need to learn to be strong and do the same when we are sponsoring someone. One of the things that we are sharing is our strength, and we give this over by being strong and putting boundaries. Sometimes we are tempted to be kind and let them get away with things that are really hurting their program. This is not really being nice to them it is hurting them.

The essence of a Jew is to live above his nature.

The Sefas Emes says that time when a Jew really starts to live is when he begins to break his nature. A Jew has to control his desires not to eat non-kosher food, not to turn on a light on Shabbos, even if he really wants the light, and many more things. Although we live in a world of nature, our job in this world is to learn to break our nature.

The best way to learn to change a middah that we are struggling with is to find a person who has changed himself and was successful in changing that Middah and to observe and follow him.

The Vilna Gaon says that the biggest pain of Gehenom is when they show us what we could have been instead of what we are. We have to break our natural inclinations and become more then we thought we could be.

from a Shiur by Rabbi Ephraim Wachsman about preparing for Shavuos

Controlling my compulsive overeating is something that is totally beyond nature, I am only able to do it with Hashem's help. I turn to my sponsor who has already successful in this area for guidance and she helps me to overcome my natural tendency to compulsively overeat.