The Gift of Abstinence

Thank You HaShem, words just aren’t enough
There’s no way I could have done this without Your love
I came to meetings and listened to people share
Made outreach calls to women who care

They said “keep coming back – the gift will come”
Gave me hope and encouragement when I had none
I wanted to do it my way but finally had to admit
I needed to let go of controlling life as I wanted it

I heard people with serenity and I wanted that too
But I couldn’t understand why I had to leave the food
Why can’t I eat what I want and connect to HaShem?
But no matter how I tried, I couldn’t be like them

I wanted to meditate, to get up early and daven
To say Brachos over food, and not need to repeat them
To be patient and kind and present for my family
to stop fighting with myself over food constantly

But I still had self will, and I couldn’t let go
Still kept on thinking I needed to run the show
And then suddenly it came – I really don’t know how
HaShem gave me the willingness to start right now

42 days later – I can’t believe it’s true
Abstinence is a gift that can only come from You
Weighed and measured, my food is clean
Nothing in between – not one little bean

It sounded so restricting, so harsh and so strict
But this freedom from choice is truly a gift
No more “i can have a little now – lunch was quite small”
Or “I really need more, I wasn’t so full!”

I now know clearly when the food thoughts come
That really I need to connect to someone
I turn to HaShem and ask what I should do
Trying to fulfil His Ratzon as a good Jew

I try to meditate each and every day
On three healthy meals – Brachos I say
I’ve got a long way to go in my Avodas HaShem
But I’m so grateful each day that I can start again

No longer am I going to bed so full of self-hate
Scared to wake up and deal with my “fate”
Struggling and struggling with no peace in sight
This way gives me clarity – it really feels right

I daven for you all that you’ll get the gift too
And that I’ll hold on to the willingness to do what I have to do ...

With much love to you all in recovery,

FROM AN ANONYMOUS READER

Computer Needed for a Paralized 15 year old Bochur

Do you have a computer that you no longer need? Paralized 15 year old bochur is teaching himself graphics to help add meaning to his life.

He needs a Mac Computer with an intel processor to run the software that he needs and his family can not afford to buy him one. Your unused computer can do a huge mitzvah.

if you can help contact npascal@chesed247.org

THE WISDOM OF THE TALMUD

Each morning when we arise, we say a special prayer - "Elokei neshamah" - thanking HaShem for granting us our holy soul. The prayer begins with the words: "My G-d, the soul which You have given me is pure; You created it, You formed it, You breathed it within me..." (Brachos 60b)

The word "soul" in this prayer refers to and includes the three ascending levels of the soul. Namely, (1) nefesh - the seat of our earthly drives, (2) ru'ach - the spiritual forces within, and (3) neshamah - the holy essence of the pure soul. Accordingly, "You created it" refers to the nefesh; "You formed it" refers to the ru'ach; and "You breathed within me" - refers to the neshamah.

The three levels of the soul span the spectrum from the base instincts of nature to the highest levels of purity and holiness. In light of this, we have the capacity to elevate ourselves from the lesser instincts to the highest virtues of character.

As we navigate our path in life, there is a clear way to determine which aspect of the soul is prominent. The nefesh seeks pleasure whereas the neshamah desires only to give pleasure and benefit to others.

Each morning as we arise we begin a new chapter in our life's journey. The Elokai haneshamah prayer guides us to attain the proper spiritual orientation. We reflect on the ascending levels of our soul - and uplift ourselves - to our holy essence.

We define ourselves by deciding to draw from our neshama - the highest and most authentic identity of the self. As we go through the day, we continue to elevate ourselves by actively choosing to serve others in each situation. Each time that we assume the giving mode we strengthen our soul and elevate ourselves a little bit higher.

May each daily recitation of the Elokai haneshamah prayer, help us to discover new vistas of our holy soul,

[Based on the M'harsha to Brachos 60b and Mictav M'Eliyahu]

thank you to Lynda for sending this to me.

TODAY: Stretch to reach for your highest inner goodness - a holy entity of pure kindness.

 

from:  The Salant Foundation

Moshe Sharon has left a new comment on your post "What’s happening in the world, and why?":

The Parsha Shemini is about the completion of the inauguration of the Tabernacle. The number seven represents all things occurring within the natural construct of this finite world, while the number eight represents all things beyond nature, or infinity. According to Rashi, the eighth day was the day of re-establishing the eternal connection with the Almighty that we had lost when we stumbled and fumbled with the golden calf. Here at the beginning of this portion, we are witness to the momentous occasion of our reconciliation with our Creator, who is beyond all things natural and supernatural. Once Aaron had achieved atonement with the final offerings of the eighth day, the Shechina descended into full view and all of the people fell on their faces. G-d resumed His place among His people. Thus the Torah reminds us that we are a Holy people whose very existence as a nation is beyond nature. Therefore, the prime minister would do well to remember that G-d is the Guardian of Israel and that destroying Jewish homes gives the impression to our enemies that the Israeli government has abandoned the Jewish people who remained in Samaria leaving at the mercy of the Arab cutthroats. The only way to prevent more killing is for the Israeli politicians to back up the Jewish heroes who are establishing their homes on Jewish land in the face of Arab hatred and, worse yet, Israeli government apathy. More at http://moshesharon.wordpress.com

Who is causing your problems?

When a stone is thrown to a dog, the dog will attack the stone without diffferantiating that there really is a person behind this action. ( he is basically thinking the stone hurt him)

The Chovos Halevovos states: that a believing Jew knows that no human power has the ability to hurt him only if it was decreed from Shomoyim that he has to go through pain.

This means that anytime a human being is hurt, belittled, pained, wounded by another person, he is only a Shaliach and our anger to him changes into Pity that Hashem has Chosen him as a Shaliach.

If a person is not succesfull in some accomplishment, it is because he has doubts about it and doesn't belief fully in the issue he is trying to accomplish.

It would not dawn upon a believing Jew to pick up Dairy after having eating Meat, because he is convinced and knows this is Halacha and there is no other choice.

This is exactly the principle of OA. If I truly belief that I am powerless over food, If I truly belief Step one: I have a chance to recover, however as long as I doubt it, and I think there might be another way I will pick up.

Heard in the name of Rav Shach.Z"L

Parsha thoughts from Rivkie

Insight on Parshas Beshalach,

The sea was ready to split but was waiting for action from man, and it says in Parshas beshalach " and Moshe stretched out his arm over the water...and the sea split.

Reb Moshe Teitelbaum of Ujhel explains: Hashem performs miracles only after man puts in his own effort.

In program (OA)  we must do the action in order to get the miracle.





Another insight I thought would be appropirate



When Klal Yisrael left Mitzrayim after Pharaoh finally relented, it would have seemed logical for them to take the shortest possible route to reach Eretz Yisrael. For many reasons Hashem took them on a much longer, circuitous route through uninhabited land in the desert. The Netziv in Haamek Davar explains that when Hashem took His beloved children out of bondage, He didn't lead them to their new destination through Eretz Plishtim not because he was afraid they would turn back, Rather, the reasoning was "ki karov hu" because it was too close to their slave experience in Mitzrayim. The journey to Eretz Yisroel via that route would have taken ten days, too short a time span for them to make the leap from their slave mentality to the unique characteristic which would differentiate them from all the other nations of the world-namely, that they would be an "am l'vadad yishkon" (bamidbar 23:9),

a nation separate and apart from all others, worthy recipients of the Torah whose total Emunah in hashem would never waver.

In order for Klal Yisroel to make the necessary inner transformation, Hashem had to re-route them and take them via the long. difficult path through the desert. The desert experience was essential for their spriritual growth, as it provided time and distance from who and where they were when they were redeemed. This presented them with the opportunity to develop a special relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Only extraordinary experiences and miracles would teach them that Hashem not only saves His followers from destruction, but also sustains them, day in day out, under any and all conditions and circumstances. THis was the purpose of the wandering through the wilderness and the meaning of the detour that Hashem now made them take.

There is an important and timeless lesson to be learned from this. Often we are faced with circumstances that dictate our choices, compelling us to the follow the longer, more difficult route. Our human limitations may not allow us to recognize the benefits of that route as compared with the shorter, easier way. But so often it is only via that route that we can cultivate real trasformation in ourselves and our relationship with Hashem. And we can rest assured that Hashem is with us on our journey, as long as we yearn to do the right thing and place our trust in Him.

From BInah Magazine written by Tzipi Diamond

Another moving guest post--

I just wanted to share something that happened to me this past Friday night in the hope that it will help someone with their recovery. I usually find Shabbos the hardest day for abstinence as it is the time that I like to unwind, sit down, relax a little, read some Jewish books and enjoy nice food! So, last Friday night I had been abstinent all week and I wanted to try over Shabbos too. It was hard, and I was struggling, but BH, the kids had gone to sleep and I had some time to think. I went upstairs to avoid the temptation and I actually stopped and spoke to HaShem. I begged him for help and I thought about a few emotional issues that I had been dealing with during the week for which I hadn’t found any solution. This time that I sat quietly and actually tried to connect to HaShem and open up my mind and my heart to His presence was richly rewarded!


I started to see the issues that I was struggling with, in a completely new light. Answers were just coming to me as a free gift being dropped into my brain from HaShem and I am so grateful to Him for helping me. I wanted to share it with you because my sponsor has said to me a number of times that the food is like a blockage between myself and HaShem. By putting down the food, and running to HaShem instead of food when I want to escape whatever is happening in my life, then I open myself up for His help. The food cannot help, but He can! It’s so simple, and yet I’m still fighting with my self-will (aka Yetzer Hara for me). The Yetzer Hara wants to keep us miserable, and keep us away from the help we can get and the closeness to HaShem which is the main purpose of our being in this world.

I wish you all a wonderful, abstinent Shabbos, with tremendous closeness to HaShem, who loves us all and is waiting so patiently for us to come and find Him.

Much love,

X

After Shabbos Thoughts- A guest post

When I don’t want to clean up, I eat

When I’m too tired to deal, I eat

When I just want a break, I eat

When it’s me I hate, I eat

When I feel bad for something I did, I eat



When I hurt myself, I run to the food

When someone hurts me, I run to the food

When I can’t deal with my emotions, I run to the food

And what does the food give me?



More pain,

more hurt,

more self-hate,

more misery



So today, for the first time in a long time, I tried not to run to the food for comfort. I prayed and prayed for HaShem to save me from eating. And He helped me.

I always find Shabbos afternoons hard. I feel full from lunch, I’m tired and looking after the children at home. I’ve been in with them for the morning and I’m feeling a little restless. Out comes all the junk food for Shabbos party for the children and I want it too. I don’t want to listen to my HP. I want to do what I want to do. I DESERVE it. Maybe the kids are complaining, maybe the kids are happy, maybe I’m feeling guilty about something. Who knows what the excuse is. I just want it. I want self will, my way. Something for me.



So today, I couldn’t just go for the food, so I had to actually think. What is it that I actually need? I couldn’t do my knee jerk reaction, and stuff the food to shut off the emotion that i’m feeling. I had to think, what am I feeling? What is bothering me and what form of self-care can i do so that i can be refreshed? Well, I realised that I needed some fresh air and I asked my husband to watch the kids for a little while whilst I went out for a walk. It was raining and the sky was grey but I came back a different person. Fifteen minutes by myself to re-align my thoughts. I spoke to HaShem, and asked him to help me. I told Him my fears and concerns and I thanked Him for the beautiful children.



I’ve always felt guilty about taking time out. So instead I ate when I wanted to just have a break. Today, I had the break instead and spent the rest of the afternoon with more patience and love for the children. It’s still hard, and every minute is a challenge but I wanted to write to share the gift that I had this afternoon.

A powerful guest post from someone in a moment of despair

The Agony of Picking Up

Here I am, sitting on my bed

Miserable as ever, my head only sees red

Why did I pick up, where did i go wrong

What happened that made me turn to my favourite song

It all starts so innocently, it’s fine to have just one

Why do I have to be so strict, can’t i have a bit of fun?

But the fun isn’t fun at all, it leads me on a path
Where the sickness I feel is the only aftermath

The food is like an enticing trap that looks so very sweet

Smiles, laughter, beautiful scenes lure me in so deep

And then suddenly i find myself trapped inside

Feeling so deflated as i’m carried away by the tide

“I’m not so bad, I don’t need this” my mind begins to tell me

I’m not overweight so I can eat anything I fancy

But it’s not true, says my Yetzer Tov, everything has its price

My mind loses all its common sense after that one little slice

I wish I was a normal eater and didn’t have these crazy thoughts

But when I’m in program, I learn so much from all the lessons I’m taught

I remember when I thanked HaShem for having this disease

Or else I never would have come to learn from people like these

From each member of the fellowship, I have gained so much

Total acceptance, love and encouragement without any fuss

No judgements, no criticisms, sharing without fear

Phone calls to strangers who listen with open ears

I hope and daven that the day will come when I can taste for real

The beautiful life that I can lead when abstinence I feel

Thank you all for sharing, and for waiting patiently

Whilst I work my way, with HaShem’s help to return to sanity