Mazel Tov!

My second anniversary of back to back abstinence. I have now lost 87 pounds and am off of more then 10 medicines.  My doctor says, "OA is saving your life."

Facing our fears head on.

Many years ago when I was facing a very difficult time, my son's Rosh Yeshivah told me to think of the worst case scenario and accept that I could handle it, then I would not have to live in fear.

Since starting OA I was afraid of how I would handle maintenance.  How would I stick to the program while I didn't have the reinforcement of losing weight.  I always assumed that once I reached goal weight I would be able to increase my food.  Much to my surprise, I started to gain weight on the same food plan and actually had to cut my food plan.

Last week I was sitting with my family in an ice cream parlor watching them eat their ice cream.  Amazingly enough, I was OK.  Even with my reduced food plan.  I did not need to run away and hide.  I did not suffer.  I just sat there and watched them.  It suddenly hit me that here I was facing a situation that I dreaded, and it was no big deal.

Using the spiritual strength of the month of Elul to help us to stay strong, and grow not decline.

The summer is a time of letting go and being lax in the structure of our lives.  The Rabanim often warn us to be careful not to have a spiritual decline in the name of vacation.  Now as Rosh Chodesh Elul is upon us we should use the spiritual strength of the month of Elul to help us to stay strong, and grow not decline.

Several people that I know have recently lost their abstinence.  I asked my sponsor how this can happen and she reminded me that abstinence is a gift from Hashem, we have to daven to stay abstinent every day.

The ripple effect of our actions.

Hashem judges us by the effect that our actions have on other, not just by our actions. The ripple effect of our actions are as important as our actions themselves. We learn from this that we have to take into account how our actions are going to effect others and not just our actions themselves. We can cause others to come to greatness from the greatness of our actions.
from the Shiur:
Yehuda's Admission
Teacher: Mrs. Shira Smiles Class: Seeds of Moshiach: Yehuda and Tamar
Added: May 11, 2010
Class Number: 8 of 9 Time: 48:29
Topics: Chumash / Our Forefathers

We often talk about the "service" that we do by staying abstinent, and how it is helping others. We can see the way that our abstinence has ripple effects, and we can also think about what brought us to become abstinent.

Harmful abstinence

Harmful abstinence, however, resembles the ways of the foolish gentiles who not only refrain from what is unessential but also deny themselves what is essential and chastise themselves, (often) in strange ways, which the Eternal  totally rejects.  Mesilis Yisharim- Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzato p. 98

A person can not eliminate all materialism from their lives.  It is the purpose of the Jew to elevate the physical and bring it to a spiritual plane.  For those of us who want to achieve this level, but are not really there yet, it helps to have a guide (our sponsor) who keeps us on the right path, and keeps us from trying to reach a harmful abstinence.  I think that without my sponsor, I might have become so carried away with my abstinence that I might have gone to the other extreme.  My sponsor keeps me on the right path.

The ideal way for a person to aquire abstinence.

The ideal way for a person to acquire abstinence is to examine the inferior nature of the pleasures of this world, their insignificance, and the serious ills that are likely to emerge from them.
               - the beginning of chapter 15  Misilis Yesharim
                - Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzatto

Pesach was a time of stark contrasts.  As hard as it was to stay abstinent, the benefits were extremely clear.  I walked to Shul, up and down a big hill, and it was easy.  I feel like a whole new world is opening up as my physical abilities improve.  I could get down on the floor and play with my grandchildren, and even get up again without to much difficulty.  Overeating is a serious issue for many on Pesach, and as I emerge from the Yom Tov feeling healthy and good, and I listen to others complain about the misery of overindulging, I am extremely grateful for my abstinence.

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

Tips for an abstinent Pesach from several sources

• Realize that other then the sugar you are eating pretty much like everyone else


• There is A LOT of weighing to do-do not leave it to the last minute


• Take a large roasting pan and roast a lot of vegetable for several hours this way you will not have to worry about having a cooked vegetable ready


• If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.


• Portion your food into multi compartment containers so that you just have to pull it out of the fridge and you don't have to think about it.


• Wax turnips are the hot cooked vegetables - bake it at 400 for a few hours and it tastes like french fries


• Beets last a long time in the back of the fridge and you will have your veg when you need it


• Make sure to discuss the seder in advance with your sponsor so that you know what you are doing


• Don't leave your 3rd meal for the seder, eat it early and leave your soup and a small part of your protein for the meal, no one wants to eat that much that late

Abstinence is the first step toward piety.

From the Sefer "Misilat Yeshurim",The Path of the Just by Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzato

Abstinence is the first step toward piety....
Our sages of blessed memory expressed the underlying principle of abstinence (Yevamos 20a) as follows: "Sanctify yourself through the permissible." This is what the word abstinence actually means- to abstain and distance oneself form something, i.e., to deny oneself what is permissible, with the aim of (setting up a barrier,) preventing any contact with the actual prohibition.

First of all I want to say that I spent many hours studying this in the past and I never connected to it. It seemed like something for Malachim, angels. Now that I have been abstinent for about a half a year, I feel like it is talking directly to me.

As I sit there weighing out my food, taking one little string bean off the plate because the scale says 8.1 instead of 8.0 ounces, sometimes I wonder why I need to be so strict. After all its just vegetables. But that is the point, where is your nekudot habichirah (decision point). Is it going to be with how much vegetables I can eat, or is is going to be with how many pieces of cake I am going to eat.

It is like that with everything in life. We are all fighting an up hill battle and we have to draw a line somewhere.

New Dvar Torah from a Phone Call

Heard on a phone call with Chaya in Monsey:

Why do we use silver for Kiddush Cups instead of Gold? Because silver needs to be polished to be beautiful and we want to remember that a Jew always has to polish his/her self and improve. We can never rest in one place.

We do our Histadlas, but abstinence is a gift from Hashem.