Finding Torah inside of ourselves- from "Bilvavi Miskan Evneh"

Many people suffer very much from the fact that they feel a hole in their lives. They think that they are the only ones who feel and suffer. They look at the mitzvot and they are not getting the right sense of satisfaction out of it, so they may be tempted to look out of Yidishkeit for happiness. A man has to know that the pleasures outside of Yidishkeit will never satisfy them. It is like a princess who marries a farmer. Any gift that the farmer will bring her will never satisfy her. The pleasures of the secular world will never make us feel better. I examined all of the ways that people seek pleasure and realized that they will never fill the hole in my life. They all came down to nothing, they are not life, they are only distractions. The thing that is missing in our lives, is our connection to Hashem. Until we find a way to really connect to Hashem with all of our being, we will never feel better. The life that I am seeking is in me, the more Torah that I find inside of me, the better that I feel. There are times that we eat nice things, or go away on a vacation, but that is not life, that is rest or distaction, life is only found by connecting in a deeper way to the Torah.
The way to really connect to Hashem is to scream out to him and beg him to help you to form that connection. It worked for me, it will work for you.


from a shiur by "Bilvavi Miskan Evneh"http://bilvavi.net/content/view/533/32/