Resentment Poisons our Neshamah

I have been very aware lately of the negative effects of resentment.  It is a poison that we take when we don't realize that we have to accept Hashem's plan for ourselves and not our own plans.  We have to realize that everything that happens in this world is coming directly from Hashem for a reason, so there is no reason to resent anything.  This post from frumstepper  http://frumstepper.blogspot.com/  is so good that I wanted to share it:

Resentment? Poisoning Ourselves


From 24 Hours a Day, Nov. 7: " When we try to get revenge, instead of making us feel better, it leaves us frustrated and cheated. Instead of punishing our enemies, we've only hurt our own peace of mind. It does not pay to nurse a grudge, it hurts us more than anyone else.... If we are resentful, we will be resented."

There are some good sayings about resentment: 1.Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die, and 2. Resentment is letting others live rent-free in your head.

Both of these say it all. When we resent someone, the only one to suffer is us. The other person usually has no clue as to the whole dialogue and script that is going on in our heads. We have written an entire play, which we go over and over, adding elaborate comments and replies, but we are the only audience to this. The person who is the main character (other than ourselves) has no idea about all of this. We allow this to niggle away at us day after day, month after month, year after year, until it literally eats a hole into our souls. Likewise, it's like taking poison and waiting for someone else to drop dead from it. The one who is hurt is us! Not only this, but we present ourselves as bitter, angry people (which is true!) and others will not want to be around us. If we share this "script" with our friends, they may wonder when they will be next in our line-up of hated people. It really is a poison that trickles into our bloodstream, destroying us in the processes.

Giving up these resentments might seem harder than it actually is. Learning how to let things go, how to see the good in others, and to be able to see that they are not bad people, though they might have behaved badly in some instance , being able to to look at ourselves and to understand that it is usually our own pride and stubbornness that has gotten in the way- these are all things that can be helpful in dropping the resentments that are our own stumbling blocks to healing and to happiness.

The question is: can we see that holding on to resentments does not really hurt the other person, and is actually destroying us instead? That is certainly a good motivation for practicing this new way of being. In our 12 step program, we learn how to "clean up our own side of the street
, and not to cling to our perceptions of having been "wronged" by others. It's simply not worth all the effort expended and all the pain it is causing (to us!!). Try it, and tell me if I'm wrong!