is that it is often difficult to know which side is right. What one side sees as a valid complaint, the other may see as nonsense. As the saying goes, “There are two sides to every story.”
How, then, does one handle this kind of situation? The Chofetz Chaim cautions us, “Ponder the matter carefully, in accordance with the laws of the Torah and [only then] decide which side is the baal machlokes (instigator of strife).” Apparently, the Chofetz Chaim is telling us to consult someone whois learned and, with his guidance, sift slowly and carefully through the information to determine if one of the disputants can be classified as a baal machlokes.
This is not an easy task. The Chofetz Chaim says that if, after examining the situation carefully, we cannot determine which side is guilty, then we should refrain from becoming involved.
If, on the other hand, we have determined that one of the parties is a baal machlokes, then the Torah allows us to publicly voice our condemnation of this person as a means of convincing him to end the dispute. We are speaking specifically of a case where the baal machlokes will most likely back away from the battle when he realizes that public opinion is against him. On the other hand, if this person is impervious to public opinion, then there is no constructive purpose in publicly declaring him a baal machlokes, and doing so would constitute speaking loshon hora.
The Chofetz Chaim lists three additional prerequisites before one speaks against a baal machlokes:
1. One must have accurate firsthand information regarding the dispute.
2. One’s intention must be strictly for a constructive purpose and not because he happens to dislike this person. If a previous animosity exists, one is not allowed to become involved. This point will be clarified later in this volume (see Day 83).
3. Obviously, if one can speak privately to the baal machlokes and convince him to desist, then that is the path which one is required to take. However, the Chofetz Chaim recognizes that in the case of the baal machlokes, rebuke may be a double-edged sword. By rebuking him in private one may lose his status as an impartial party and become aligned in the instigator’s mind with his enemies. The instigator may then move quickly to thwart any attempts to rebuke him publicly. If this scenario seems to be a real possibility, then one should not attempt to rebuke the baal machlokes in private.
from:
dcompanion@chofetzchaimusa.org
Pesach is a time of freedom. What is freedom? Is it to be free to do whatever you want? No, it is to be free to do the right thing, Hashem's will. Hashem took us out of Egypt to become his people, to do his Mitzvot, not to do what ever we want. Freedom brings responsibility.
Everything that Hashem gives us is not given for our physical pleasure, but to help us to grow spiritually. This has to be our focus when we make decisions.
The process of a man's spiritual growth is Torah and Yiras Shamayim. learning Shas in breadth and depth-while the process of a woman's spiritual growth consists of just one thing: to be for Hashem alone.
Sefer Avrei Nachal tells us (Parshat Vayeitzei), "Fear is like a magnet that attracts metal. It has the ability to direct the object of a person's fear toward that person. As the Passuk says (Iyov 3:25) "that which I feared has overtaken me." That is the nature of fear:it draws forth the object of our dread and makes it real."
is that it is often difficult to know which side is right. What one side sees as a valid complaint, the other may see as nonsense. As the saying goes, “There are two sides to every story.”
This Shiur by Dr. Shulem Boruch is so powerful that I can not recommend it enough. It is from Aish.com.
Self Pity gets us no where. Simcha is a middah and not a response to an event.
What’s the connection between the chaos in the camps of Ishmael in the Middle East (which will eventually spread to the camps of Ishmael in Europe and other points west) and between all the natural disasters? The answer is simple: the earth is trembling, and all the trembling are Messianic labor pains. As in labor before childbirth, the world now experiences excruciating contractions and pains, which ultimately lead to the birth of a new and more spiritual world, the world of Moshiach, Redemption, and our Holy Temple, soon and in our days, amen. That’s why our sages called this era chevlei Moshiach, or the era of Messianic labor pains, for the challenges of this generation resemble the pains of childbirth.
This Purim you should create your own personal Megilah. Look back at your life and see the tragedies that turned into Bracha. Write it down and celebrate it. This will help you to be strong going forward because it helps you to appreciate that Hashem has a plan for us, and it may not feel good while it is happening, but we can often look back and appreciate that his plan is for our good.
When a stone is thrown to a dog, the dog will attack the stone without diffferantiating that there really is a person behind this action. ( he is basically thinking the stone hurt him)
It would not dawn upon a believing Jew to pick up Dairy after having eating Meat, because he is convinced and knows this is Halacha and there is no other choice. 
Sometimes we feel like we are all alone in the world. It is times like this when Hashem often sends us a clear message that he is still with us. The following story happened while I was there so I can vouch for it being a true story.
There will always be challenges, and there is no guarantee of success, but if we are more connected to the source, it will be much easier.
Every Jew is gifted with a unique ability, quality, or special power has a responsibility to use it in a productive way to help the Jewish people. This is what Mordechai told Esther and this is what we need to learn for our own lives, whether in our professional, personal, or general interactions with people.
