Thoughts as we enter Elul.

To the extent that we are able to nullify ourselves, we become closer to Hashem.

from:   Elul: Month of Relationships
Teacher: Mrs. Shira Smiles

It is Rosh Chodesh Elul today and I am sitting in the hospital waiting for someone to get out of surgery.  I am grateful to Hashem for putting me in a position of helplessness as I wait for good news.  It brings me to a place of realizing that all of our plans are meaningless without Hashem's plans for us.   As I look around at all of the sick people around me, I realize again what a gift good health is.  As we contemplate the new year, we should be aware of all of the blessings in our lives.  If we can eat and breathe and walk and we have a roof over our heads, we have a lot to thank Hashem for.  Last year at this time, I never dreamed that I would have such a hard year.  Baruch Hashem I have the chance to beg Hashem for a year of good.

Facing our fears head on.

Many years ago when I was facing a very difficult time, my son's Rosh Yeshivah told me to think of the worst case scenario and accept that I could handle it, then I would not have to live in fear.

Since starting OA I was afraid of how I would handle maintenance.  How would I stick to the program while I didn't have the reinforcement of losing weight.  I always assumed that once I reached goal weight I would be able to increase my food.  Much to my surprise, I started to gain weight on the same food plan and actually had to cut my food plan.

Last week I was sitting with my family in an ice cream parlor watching them eat their ice cream.  Amazingly enough, I was OK.  Even with my reduced food plan.  I did not need to run away and hide.  I did not suffer.  I just sat there and watched them.  It suddenly hit me that here I was facing a situation that I dreaded, and it was no big deal.