Being all that you can be

When you think of what your personal goals actually are, there is always some degree of tension between what you want to be and who you are. Going into the never-never-land of pretending that you actually are the person you would like to be takes a toll. You have to face up to your imperfections, and most of us respond to that with guilt, and ultimately with resentment. The other alternative to some seems to be to look at the goal as being so far away and inaccessible that it isn't worth fighting the good fight to get there.

from Rebetzin Heller's Blog to read more http://www.tziporahheller.com/?q=blog/being-all-you-can-be

Unconditional Love

Rebbe Nachman of Breslov says that the way to do Teshuva is to be silent and to be quiet when someone insults you.  Why does he use the double language?  To be quiet, is to not say anything back.  To be silent means that even in your head you are at peace. 

from a Shiur by Rabbi Lazer Broday on "Unconditional Love".

As I am working on my fourth step, I find it very difficult to give up certain resentments.  I want to be justified and self righteous.  The key to recovery is to be silent, in our heads.

The illness called Resentment.

Harbeh Shluchim L’Makom. If you are not getting what you think you deserve from a person , Hashem can find a different person to give it to you, and if Hashem doesn’t think that you should have it then it is better that you shouldn’t have it. Get rid of the illness called Resentment.

heard from a Shiur by Rebbetzin Heller

Resentment is taking poison and hoping the other person is going to die....an oa saying

When you forgive someone the person you are helping is yourself.....from a Rebbetzin who does not want to be quoted.

Reminders for Chesbon Hanefesh

From a Shiur by Rabbi Berkowitz on "Keeping Chesbon Hanefesh Going"

Make a sign for yourself that says:

"I live to perfect myself.
I will never perfect myself if I don't do Chesbon Hanefesh daily.
I need Chesbon Hanefesh desperately."

Feeling like you are in control of your life keeps you doing Chesbon Hanefesh daily.

Consistentcy with your Chesbon Hanefesh

From a Shiur by Rabbi Berkowitz on "Keeping Chesbon Hanefesh Going"

How do you make sure that you will be consistent with your Chesbon Hanefesh?

The Yetzer Hara does not want us to do Chesbon Hanefesh on a regular basis. The Yetzer Hara is more worried about this than anything else. Chesbon Hanefesh is the best tool for growth that there is, and the Yetzer Hara will do almost anything to keep us from doing this.
This is the biggest battle you will ever fight.

The only way to do daily Chesbon Hanefesh is to realize that this is the reason that you are alive. The Gra says that this is what we are created for. We are alive for self improvement, and the only way that we can do this is through Chesbon Hanefesh.

The more that we perfect ourselves, the closer that we get to the perfection of Hashem.

I was thinking about this and I suddenly realized what a powerful tool our nightly writting is. Not only do we do a daily Chesbon Hanefesh, but we share it with our sponsor which ensures that we always do it.

Making Chesbon Hanefesh Real

The 4th Step - made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Rabbi Yitzchack Berkowitz- Introduction to Chesbon Hanefesh from Aish Audio

The first thing you have to think about is, "what am I living for?" Everything in your life should reflect your long term goals.

Chesbon Hanefesh mean sitting down and working out the stuff that is floating around in your head and making it concrete. What do I have to do, to get where I want to go. You can not grow if you do not have a clear sense of direction.