Rabenu
Yeruchom Levovitz, famous mashgiach of the Mir Yeshiva Poland, taught us the
following :"Just as it is mistaken for a poor man to be distressed over his financial difficulties, imagining that he will remain a poor man although in reality he could become wealthy overnight; so it is with a sick person who might think that he will be ill forever but in fact he could be better by the morning."
I learn two pieces of very important information for life from this short piece.
1) What is it that causes our distress?
Is it the sickness or the financial difficulty we are experiencing? Or is it something else? If we examine the words of R'Yeruchom we'll understand that it isn't the actual experience of sickness or poverty in the moment that distresses a person. It is his imagining that this is how he will remain, that he is stuck like this forever.
If a patient would know that he will surely get better, and that it will be soon, he won't feel distress. He might feel some discomfort because of his sickness, but not worry, anxiety, stress and terror. He'll be planning what he wants to do when he gets better!
If a pauper would know that he's going to get all the money he needs tomorrow! He won't be distressed, he might still feel that he's lacking certain things, but he'll be looking forward to what he'll do with that money when he gets it! He won't be feeling worry, anxiety, stress and terror- these all come upon a person according to Rabenu Yeruchom because "he imagines he will remain poor," or "he thinks he will be ill forever".
So it isn't the nature of our experience however bad it is, that causes our distress! It is our imagining that it will go on forever. When a woman goes to give birth, she knows that however hard it might be, no one was in labor for a week! B"H for that! She is prepared to go through it because by the next day B'ezras Hashem Yosborach , she'll be holding that precious newborn.
Hashem even gives us breaks in-between contractions, we know that no single contraction goes on forever, we can look forward to respite and some good, deep breaths, maybe even a smile and a back rub before the next one comes. We don't think to ourselves "Oh no, I'll be here in the labor ward forever; grey hair and false teeth and all the family gathered around me saying to each other 'a contraction every fifteen minutes for the last 16 years. No hope!' "
Why do we choose to distress ourselves with imaginings?
Why do we so often imagine the worst case scenario?
We think "but this is the reality! These are the facts, you can't escape reality, can you?
So R'Yeruchom comes and teaches us something else:
2) The nature of reality.
"... in reality he could become wealthy overnight;... in fact he could be better by the morning."
R'Yeruchom is teaching us that if we want to be real we have to know that the nature of the world is to change. The root of the word for year shana isshinui change.
The reality is that change for the better is not only possible but likely! Especially with Trust in Hashem! It is most probable that he will get better, that the money will come. Those are the "facts"! That's being "real"! We are avoiding reality when we think things will stay the same.
It's our negative inclination that inclines us to negative prognostication. We need to fight that urge. We need to replace our negative imaginings with those kind of thoughts that are reality based; eg that good news is probably around the corner.
One lady had a very sorry shalom bayis situation. She said her husband never spoke to her. They hadn't had breakfast together in maybe 15 years! I encouraged her to imagine her husband coming home from shul, saying good morning to her and joining her for breakfast.
she: "It'll never happen"
me: "Just try it"
she: "It's impossible"
me: "imagine it anyway!"
So she did. She called me the next day.
"It happened, you won't believe it" (I did believe it) " He came home from shul and sat down to breakfast with me! We talked!"
In whatever situation we are in we must align our thinking and our imagination, with the facts, which are that our troubles can be over by the morning.
"Hashem is sending us the money we need"
"Hashem will help you suceed in the exam"
"B"H your bashert is just around the corner"
"B"H I'm excited about getting the perfect job for me really soon"
In any situation we find ourselves communicating to ourselves what we think will happen. We must understand that this inner communication results in our imagination providing the pictures to go with it and those pictures are what arouses our feelings. If we are thinking frightening and worrying thoughts we will feel fright and worry.
If we are communicating to ourselves a fact-based thought that things will be better soon, B'ezras Hashem, then we'll right away begin to feel better. Then that feeling of relief and happiness will, in and of itself, likely bring about good results because that is what trust feels like, and one who trusts in Hashem is surrounded by His Kindness.
Let's try and be real, let's try and stick to the facts...
and look forward to tomorrow.
Chaya Hinda
from jpthink.com
