An important thing to keep in mind when posting and commenting on line.

Day 72 - To a Non-Jew

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Laws of Loshon Hora 8:12

At one time or another, we hear derogatory remarks about Jews. It is tragic enough when such remarks are made by Jews to Jewish listeners. Even more tragic is when they are told by Jews to co-workers, business associates, or others who are not Jewish. The subject of these remarks might be an individual Jew, a specific group of Jews, or Jews in general.

The Chofetz Chaim declares that to speak loshon hora about a Jew when the listener is a gentile is a much greater sin than when the listener is a Jew. One who is guilty of this sin “disgraces the honor of Israel and desecrates the Name of Heaven.”

There is yet another reason for the particular severity of this sin. When one speaks loshon hora to a fellow Jew, there is a possibility that the listener will not be quick to accept the report as fact—especially if he is someone familiar with the laws of loshon hora. Gentiles, on the other hand, certainly do not have a predisposition towards judging Jews favorably. Upon hearing the derogatory report, the gentile will be quick to believe it and pass the information on to others.

When a Jew denigrates other Jews in the presence of gentiles, he is, in essence, contradicting the purpose of his own existence. Our mission in this world as a people is to spread the honor of Hashem by serving as His representatives before the rest of the world. We say in Shema each day: “V’Ahavta es Hashem Elokecha” And you shall love Hashem, your God (Devarim 6:4). Our Sages teach (Yoma 86a) that we demonstrate our love of Hashem by making His Name beloved in the eyes of others. When a Jew studies Torah, speaks pleasantly to people and deals honestly in business, then people say, “Praiseworthy is the father who taught him Torah; praiseworthy is the teacher who taught him Torah. See how beautiful and correct are his ways and deeds.”

Thus the damage caused by relating loshon hora to gentiles goes far beyond loshon hora, which is devastating in itself. Instead of using his abilities to increase Hashem’s honor, the speaker has been guilty of chillul Hashem (desecration of Hashem’s Name).

from the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Assoc.

Oceans of Ink

The Bais Hamikdash is not being rebuilt because of the sin of Loshon Hara.  If all of the oceans in the world were ink, and all of the heavens were parchment we could not fully describe the sins of Loshon Hara.

from a Shiur by Rabbi Zev Leff about the root causes of Loshon Hara.

Another reason not to speak Loshon Hara.

The Chofetz Chaim teaches that speaking negatively of an older sibling, a step-parent or, God forbid, a father or mother, is not only loshon hora, it is a violation of the commandment “Honor your father and mother (Shemos 20:12)”. There is also a curse applied to children who show parents disrespect: “Cursed is he who degrades his father or mother” (Devarim 27:16).

One of the primary reasons Hashem created the family unit was so that it could be a workshop, a place for the neshamah (soul) to develop. The home is where we learn to be less self-centered, where we develop a love of chesed (kindness) towards others. When the laws of shmiras halashon guide the family’s interactions, each neshamah which this “workshop” produces can develop to its full, rich potential.

from: dcompanion@chofetzchaimusa.org

Proof that loshon hora is harmful.

The relationship in the Torah between tzara’as (a skin disease induced by spiritual impurity) and the sin of loshon hora is well known. Moshe’s righteous sister Miriam was afflicted with tzara’as because she said something about Moshe that had just the slightest taint of loshon hora. Her words were well intentioned and she spoke only to her brother Aaron, yet she was immediately punished with tzara’as and the Jewish people had to delay travel for seven days until she was cured.

If one ever needed proof that loshon hora is as harmful as we have suggested, this is it. There is no other sin so toxic that it comes with its own unique corrective illness. In the Torah’s system of reward and punishment, there are no bolts of lightning striking down wrongdoers, because that would subvert the concept of bechirah (free choice). If Divine punishment were instantaneous, there would be no opportunity to choose between right and wrong. Similarly, if every sin was punishable by its own unique sickness, it would be virtually unthinkable to sin.

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM

Building connections to prevent Loshon Hara

Rashi says that Sinas Chinam is not hating someone for no reason, it is isolating yourself from other people, thinking that you do not need what they have to offer.  One of the best ways of eliminating Loshon Hara is to appreciate what other people have to offer, and to stay connected to them.

from a Shiur by Rebbetzin Heller on Smiras Haloshon

Satan’s Strategies from SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Preface

“I wondered to myself,” the Chofetz Chaim writes, “how was it possible that this Torah prohibition of loshon hora came to be disregarded by so many people?”

The Chofetz Chaim answers this by introducing us to the main strategy of the evil inclination and the tactics which it utilizes to entangle us in the powerful sin of loshon hora.

The average person, writes the Chofetz Chaim, is simply unaware that the prohibition of loshon hora applies to information that is true. (Information that is false is termed hotza’as shem ra, slander.) Therefore, all Satan needs to do is to present information as being true and most people will readily repeat it, though according to halachah (Torah law) such talk is absolutely forbidden.

For people who are more learned, Satan uses a different approach. He convinces the person that the subject of the loshon hora is an evil person and therefore deserves that loshon hora be spoken about him, or that this information is not loshon hora.

If these tactics fail, Satan uses an opposite tactic. He causes the person to worry that every word he speaks might be loshon hora even when it is not. Satan makes it appear that the only choice one has is not to speak at all. Since most people are involved in conversation numerous times each day, the only solution seems to be to ignore the laws of loshon hora, for they are impossible to keep. Satan really is quite clever!

Once Satan has convinced people to speak loshon hora, he goes about spreading his web of misinformation further to draw people into listening to the loshon hora, based on their lack of knowledge of the halachah.

For these reasons, the Chofetz Chaim writes, the sin of loshon hora had become small in the eyes of the world. People became accustomed to speaking without measuring their words against the Torah’s standards. Eventually, loshon hora was no longer viewed as an evil, thereby allowing bitter, damaging conversation to become acceptable, unrecognized as the terrible sin that it is.

Shmiras haloshon, guarding one’s speech, became the mitzvah of the pious, not of ordinary Jews, an irrelevant issue to most people. Satan’s strategies had succeeded. A most severe Torah prohibition, certainly equal to that of eating non-kosher food, was now considered to be nothing more than an optional stringency that only few were concerned with.

All of Satan’s strategies, writes the Chofetz Chaim, were based on his ability to spread misinformation. This was possible because the correct information was generally inaccessible. The laws of loshon hora were scattered throughout the Talmud, having never been collected and organized. People were drowning in the sin of loshon hora simply because they were totally ignorant of it and had no way of learning about it.

It was this tragic situation which impelled the Chofetz Chaim to write his monumental work - Sefer Chofetz Chaim.

Stay Connected

In Pirke Avos it say, "Don't Separate yourself from others".  When a person has an urge to isolate himself from others it is usually caused by a desire to fulfil a desire.
from a Shiur on Aish Audio

The 5 Root Causes of Lashon Hara # LZ 616 D

by Leff, Rabbi Zev

The root of needless fear is self imposed isolation.

To the extent that I am in love, I will not feel fear.  If I am connected to Hashem I will not have fear.  The root of needless fear is self imposed isolation.  This causes me to be thrown into a world of fear.  Isolation from Hashem creates fear.  If you speak loshon harah you are isolating yourself from Hashem because you are going against Hashem's will.  The more that you isolate yourself from Hashem and you enter a world of fear, the more that you are hurting yourself.  When you isolate yourself from your inner being, you also create a great deal of fear and hurt yourself.

When I think there is nothing other then Hashem to fear, I am coming closer to Hashem, Fear of Hashem  is healthy.

from the Shiur by Rabbi Leib Keleman, "Love & Fear"  http://www.simpletoremember.com/media/a/LOVE_and_FEAR/

Using the tools Hashem gave me.

... "for a bird of the skies may carry the sound, and some winged creature may betray the matter". (Koheles 11:20)

Shlomo Hamelech, blessed by Hashem with Chochma Yeseira (an extra measure of wisdom), reminds us that the nature of "Chai", the highest level of creation, is its difficulty of holding onto a secret. He admonishes that, before one speaks, one should be aware that "a bird in the skies may carry the sound".

And yet, I am not free to shrug off my responsibility, and claim that gossip is part of human nature. I must use the tools Hashem gave me, the double barrier of my lips and teeth, to guard me from gossip and sharing others confidences. If I safeguard others' confidences by maintaining Anonymity, I will be cultivating an important character trait within myself, which will spill over into my life. It's interesting that maintaining abstinence and practice of anonymity in the OA program are both dependent on the closure of the lips and teeth, the natural barriers given us by Hashem.

I cannot totally abstain from speech, and neither can I abstain from all food. Therefore, I must exercise caution, and ask for Hashem's help, in refraining from excesses, both in speech and in the consumption of food.

Hakodosh Baruch Hu never reveals secrets I share with Him. Let me strive, for today, to emulate Him.
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