In a Shiur by Shira Smiles on Parshat Viera she said that we have to thank Hashem for what we don't have, not just what we have. She also spoke about the reason that the frogs were such a difficult Maka was that they robbed the Egyptians of their Yishuv Hadas. In light of this I am trying to find a way of thanking Hashem for the fact that I have not had any Yishuv Hadas for almost a year now.
I have a lot to be thankful for in the past year, Health Insurance, warm and caring family members and doctors who helped me through a difficult time, modern medicine which makes major problems livable in the long term, and so much more. But Yishuv Hadas was not there. The longer that I think about this whole year, I feel that the biggest message that I can take out of it is that Hashem runs the world not me. While this may seem obvious, it is a hard message to internalize. I kept thinking that if I called one more doctor, or looked up one more thing on the internet, I would find an easy solution. There are no easy answers. Hashem is the final address for all of our problems. To paraphrase Rabbi Weinberg from Aish, we turn to Hashem for the answers to our problems, but we forget that Hashem gave us these problems to cause us to turn to him.
Therefore, I am thanking Hashem for my difficult year, with no Yishuv Hadas, because it helped me to internalize the fact that I can do and do and do. But if Hashem does not want things to go well they won't. The opposite is also true. I can make tremendous efforts to solve a problem, only to come up with a blank wall, and then I can turn around and find the solution fall into my lap through no effort of my own.
The biggest cost of my difficult year has been this blog. Without Yishuv Hadas I was not able to post much. I am trying to get back to it, and I greatly appreciate all of the help that everyone has given me, in the past, and I hope to bring my blog back to it's former self.
Rabbi Label Lam says that he once heard Rabbi Kirzner say that the secret of happiness is "expect nothing". There is an oa saying, "An expectation is a planned resentment". Rabbi Lam explains that while this might sound negative, it is really very positive. It is saying that every little thing in your life should make you happy.
