TIforOA

Sanctify yourself through the permissible... Yevamos 20a

Divrei Torah to provide Chizuk in the struggle to balance spiritual and physical needs.

L'Iluei Nishmas Mirkah Bas Yosef




Friday, July 30, 2010

We have the power to elevate our food.

My daughter asked a very good questions today. "What gives these fruits and vegetables the zechus to be part of our Shabbos Seudah"  We stopped at a Mennonite Farm and bought a bunch of food for our Shabbos meal.  There only officially sell corn but we asked if they had any other vegetables for sale.  The farmer's wife said that they had such a good crop they could sell us some other things.   She took us to her field and allowed us to pick onions, potatoes, beets, tomatoes and corn. Suddenly, instead of being eaten in a traif kitchen they were elevated to have a bracha made on them and eaten as part of a seudah.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Working together with Hashem to protect our health.

Every morning in our Davening we thank Hashem for giving strength to the weary. This week I am on vacation in the fingerlakes and I am astonished at how much more energy I have then before I lost my weight. I am so grateful to Hashem for giving so much more strength. This highlights for me that we are active participants in our health. We can't just wait for a miracle to happen we have to work together with Hashem to protect our health.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Look for the pure neshomah in your spouse.

Tu'Av is a time of Shiduchim. In light of this I want to share an insight about marriage that Rebbeztin Kalmonovitz told me.  Every person is really only half of their true neshamah, their spouse is the other half.  This might be an upsetting thought at times when we are frustrated with our spouse (which every person experiences at some time).  The way to appreciate this reality is to realize that after we leave this world and go to the world of emes, we will go through a process of spiritual purification, and so will our spouse.  Then our souls will be reunited in their pure states.  Look at your spouse and say to yourself, "there is a pure neshomah inside of him/her that is part of my neshomah" 

Friday, July 23, 2010

We don't just thank Hashem for rain, we have to thank Hashem for every raindrop.

From the Yom Tov of Tu B'av we learn Hakaras Hatov (gratitude).  One of the reasons that Tu B'av is a special day is that the victims of the masacare of Baitar were allowed to be burried on Tu B'av and they had not decayed.  One might say, "that's a blessing, a blessing would have been if they had not been murdered."  Our Rabbis wanted us to know that we do not thank Hashem only for the big things, we have to thank Hashem even for the good in the bad.

from the Shiur on Naaleh: Tu B'Av
Teacher: Mrs. Shira Smiles
 
One of the most powerful tools of OA is our nightly gratitude list.  I am very grateful that my sponsor told me a long time ago that whenever I can one of the items on my gratitude list should be something that is seemingly bad and yet I found a positive aspect of it.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Claiming our Reward

There was once a lottery in NJ that kept getting bigger and bigger until it reached $41 million dollars.  When they announced the winning number, no one came to claim it. Week after week, month after month, still no one came forward to claim the prize.  It was decided that if no one came to claim the prize, then the city where the ticket was bought would get the money.  The city was so excited at the expected winfall when suddenly the night before it would go to the city a letter came in claiming the prize.  When they asked the winner, "why did you put off claiming your prize" he said , well I was busy with this and that and I figured I would get around to it soon, then before I knew it, it was almost to late" 

We are like that man.  We have a change to claim our portion of eternity, which is worth much more then $41 million dollars, and yet we are busy with this and that.  This is the true churbon inside of us, that we don't realize  our potential, and how much nitzchius (eternity) we can claim from our mitzvot.  We have to do Teshuva now and claim our portion of Olam Haba.

A true story told by Rebbetzin Kalmonovitz in a Shiur Today.

Tisha B'av is over, but we are still in Golus. How can we move on despite the fact that this year there was no geulah?

Every person is a Mikdash Miat ( a small sanctuary), but inside of every person there is also a piece of the churbon.  Our thoughts are our Kodesh Kedoshim, and we have to work on correcting our thoughts to build them into a place of kedushah, and to remove negative thoughts from our heads to remove the churbon inside of us.  The first thing that we have to rectify is the chubon inside of us.

Heard from a Shiur by Rebbetzin Kalmonovitz today in Monsey, NY

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Understanding Va-etchanan

We owe Hashem such a debt of gratitude that we can never ask Hashem for something based on our good deeds.  Even a tzadik can not assume that they have so many mitzvot that Hashem will answer their Tefilos.  So how do was ask, "for a matnat chinam"  for a free gift, so that we will have what we need to do mitzvot in the future. 

Moshe Rabenu asked Hashem to let him go into the land of Eretz Yisrael based on his desire to do Mitzvot in the future.  He asked "V'Etchanan" as a free gift based on Hashem's mercy not based on deserving it.

When we ask Hashem for a gift, we have to have in mind that all I want to do is Ratzon Hashem with the gifts that he gives us.

Based on a Shiur on Naaleh: The First Rashi

Teacher: Mrs. Shira Smiles Class: Chumash in Depth: Va-etchanan: Moshe's Prayer

When we daven to Hashem to keep us abstinent we have to have the right intention.  That we should be healthy and able to do Ratzon Hashem, not so that we can be skinny.

An invitation to join a Torah Insights for OA Phone Study Group for Women

At the request of several women I am putting together a telephone conference to study Jewish sources. We will read and share on how they are meaningful for our lives, and how we use this knowledge to strengthen our program.  We are thinking of trying to do it on Friday mornings from 9:00 AM to 10:00 AM.  If you are interested in joining please email tioablog@gmail.com . Please pass this information on to any women in your OA group.

Thank you,
 Nechamah

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Tisha B'Av is the time to start doing Teshuvah.

  It is the time when we learn that Hashem holds us responsible for our actions and we should use this knowledge to make changes in our lives.  Don't wait until it is almost Rosh Hashanah to start thinking about Teshuvah, start now.

Change is always difficult, but the important thing is to start.

From the Shiur "Tisha B'av-connecting to Kinos" by Rav Yitzchak Berkowitz on Aish Audio.

Why is it so much harder for this generation to mourn for the Temple then previous generations?

Our reality at this time, in this generation is so far removed from the spiritual reality.  Our lives are absorbed by the physical reality and we find ourselves seeking physical pleasure instead of spiritual growth.

Tisha B'av is mourning how distant we have become from the spiritual world.


from the Shiur, on Naaleh: Holiday of Distance
Teacher: Mrs. Shira Smiles Class: Jerusalem, Echoes of Lament: Tisha B'Av and the Three Weeks

Making the most of what we have.

Photo - The last half an hour of the fast at the Kotel, the Western Wall, in Jerusalem, Eretz Yisroel.
Hang in there. The fast is almost over. May it be true for the golus as well!
by Reb Gutman Locks at Mystical Paths

As the fast draws to a close I find myself appreciating what I have all the more.  The period of the 3 weeks and the nine days brought our lives to a level of simplicity that we do not usually have.  Walking through an enticing shopping area and saying to myself "no point in looking, you don't need or want anything, and even if you do you can't buy it" 


Even learning to get by without meat and chicken was eye opening.  When I first started OA my sponsor mentioned that meat and chicken are filling so I should eat them a lot.  Somehow I kept thinking that I needed meat and chicken all of the time.  During the nine days I discovered that I can be satisfied with beans and fish perfectly well.


Now as I contemplate going back to "normal" I am grateful that I learned that I can get by with less and still be satisfied.

The best way to keep what you have is to give it away.

http://www.kiruv.com/toolsForSharing/ProjectInspire/Wiping_A_Tear_-_Low_res.asp

9,000 days behind bars

Adi and Tzippi Ginsberg are one of a dozen or so couples who met and married as a result of their participation in the activities of the Committee to Bring Jonathan Pollard Home. They feel they owe a special debt of gratitude to Jonathan, not only for his service to the security of the State of Israel and for saving the lives of Israeli citizens, but also because he was their “matchmaker”! Recently, the Ginsbergs had the opportunity to express their thanks to Jonathan in person when they visited him in prison. This was a first meeting between Jonathan and the young couple and it was, for all concerned, very emotionally charged.

The article below recounting the Ginsburgs’ meeting with Jonathan is being released to mark Pollard’s 9,000th day in captivity, on July 12th, 2010. The Committee to Bring Jonathan Pollard Home has planned a 3 day event at the Gesher Ha’Meitarim (Strings Bridge) Plaza in Jerusalem to raise awareness about Pollard’s abandonment by the State of Israel and to garner support for his release. More information follows the article below.

A number of weeks have passed since we returned from our visit with Jonathan Pollard at FCI Butner in North Carolina.

Ever since we got back to Israel, we have been trying to write a description of our amazing visit with Jonathan but keep running into the same problem. No matter what we write, we continue to have the sense that words simply fall short of capturing the real essence of who Jonathan is, and the impact the visit had on us.

This time, we are taking a different tack by writing an overview, instead of a detailed account. Even so, we write with trepidation.

Jonathan is now 25 years into the unlimited life sentence that was imposed upon him for his service to security of the State of Israel. It may well be that we, or you, or anyone who reading this now, is among those who are alive today thanks to the vital security information that Jonathan shared with Israel – information which the United States withheld from Israel in contravention of an information-sharing agreement signed by both countries.

Jonathan is desperately ill. He suffers from numerous ailments, endures excruciating pain, and has a number of serious medical issues which are not being attended to, even minimally.

His substandard living conditions beggar the imagination. His cell is so narrow that he can barely stretch his arms without touching the walls on either side. He is forced to share this space with another inmate; a murderer, a drug dealer, or a pedophile. Every so often, his cellmates are released to go home, one after the other. Only Jonathan continues to languish in jail – all because he was not able to sit silently by at a time when terrorist plots and weapons of mass destruction loomed as a threat over the heads of the People of Israel.

When you meet Jonathan – a man whose daily life of constant suffering and affliction we have described above only in the smallest part; a man who, by rights, ought to be immersed in anger and bitterness; and who, by now, should justifiably have given up any reason for living – you do not expect to meet the Jonathan Pollard that we met.

Jonathan is not your ordinary prisoner. Nor is he an ordinary person in any way. Despite his deplorable physical condition, and in spite of the inferno he is forced to inhabit, he is remarkably cheerful, upbeat, witty and very compassionate. He has a wonderful sense of humor and an engaging personality.

It was clear to us that Jonathan was in physical pain throughout the visit, from the way he repeatedly shifted in his chair, and from the way he unobtrusively tried to calm the pain by rubbing the afflicted area, but he never said a word about his pain, and he never let on how much he was suffering. Instead, he did everything he could to put us at our ease and to keep the conversation upbeat and encouraging.

Although, we fear being misunderstood on this point, we must share the amazing realization that we had: Jonathan Pollard has been in prison for 25 years, but he has never been a prisoner!

In his bearing, in his attitude and outlook, in his generosity of spirit and in his mental prowess and his intellectual acumen, Jonathan Pollard is a free man. In fact, we have never met anyone quite as free in spirit and in action. This is all the more startling when seen against the Hellish backdrop of the physical circumstances of his incarceration.

There is no such thing as a good prison, or an easy prison. Prison, by definition, crushes free-will, destroys individuality, and forces a person to descend to the lowest common denominator in order to survive. A person in prison has no control over his life. A prisoner cannot make the ordinary every day choices which we take for granted, such as when to eat, what to eat, when to wake up and when to sleep, when to go to the bathroom or take a shower, what to own, where to keep our belongings, when or if to go to the doctor, what to buy, what to read, what kind of work to do, when to make phone calls, how many phone calls to make, or even how many minutes each phone call may last etc.

All the things we take for granted as ordinary freedom of choice and of movement and of will, have been taken away from Jonathan for two and a half decades. An ordinary person would be marked by all the lack and privation Pollard has experienced. An ordinary person would be defined by his circumstances and the limitations in his life. But not Jonathan Pollard! And that is what is so amazing about him and so absolutely impossible to try to explain in writing.

Were it not for the barbed wire, the electronic bars and sliding doors, and the video cameras following our every move in the visit room, reminding us that we were not in a Beit Café in Jerusalem, being with Jonathan almost made us forget where we were.

Jonathan’s smile is engaging. He is warm-hearted and funny. When amused, he chuckles and when he finds something funny he laughs heartily and without restraint.

What touched us the most was watching how his face changed completely when he spoke of his wife, Esther. He did not have to tell us of his endless love for Esther, who has devoted her life to him. He lights up when he speaks of her and simply glows with pride and affection. For him, Esther is his whole world.

My wife, Tzippi, pointed out with some amusement, how much Esther sounds like Jonathan; or is it how much Jonathan sounds like Esther? We have spent many hours and many occasions with Esther in Jerusalem, and were pleasantly surprised to find so much resemblance to Esther in Jonathan; or is it so much resemblance to Jonathan in Esther? How’ ere it be, Esther and Jonathan share the same values, ideals, outlook, and even the same vocabulary. It was endearing to experience first-hand their closeness of mind and soul.

The Pollards reflect a level of trust in HaShem and faith in all His ways that is beyond the grasp of most people. Jonathan wears his faith like a comfortable second skin, something so natural, it does not require a second thought. When Jonathan was incarcerated at USP Marion, where for 7 years he lived in solitary confinement in a dungeon cell 3 stories underground in the worst possible conditions, he was visited by a well-known Rabbi and author. The Rabbi asked him the question that all Jonathan’s visitors like to ask him: “Are you angry at G-d for what He has done to you?”

The Rabbi later wrote that Jonathan immediately responded, “Of course not! Why should I be angry at G-d? G-d did not do this to me, man did!”

We asked Jonathan if, after all these years, he still feels that way. Once again, Jonathan responded without a seconds’ hesitation. “Look,” he said, “HaShem has been very gracious to me! In spite of the harsh conditions and the affliction, HaShem is with me. He sent me a wife while I was in a dungeon cell three stories underground! He sent me my beloved Rav, our adoptive father, Kavod HaRav Mordechai Eliyahu, ztvk”l”. Jonathan’s voice wavered a bit at the mention of his cherished Rav, whose recent death dealt a serious blow to the Pollard couple.

Jonathan continued, “The bad has been horrible, but the good has been incredible! In the depths of Gehinom, Hashem has sent me my closest friends and confidants, and a slew of honest G-d fearing supporters and activists – the best of the best – and He even sent you and Tzippi to me! The evil that has been done to me has been perpetrated by man exercising his own free will, not HaShem. All the good that has been done to me is only from HaShem. In this hell-hole of an existence, it is HaShem who sustains me and keeps me alive, in spite of all odds. Ultimately it is HaShem, in spite of all the rest, who will set me and Esther free.”

We asked him what he meant by “set Esther free”. He said, “Esther and I, because we share our lives so thoroughly, live a very peculiar existence. Because of Esther, I am partially in prison and partially free; and because of me, Esther is partially free and partially in prison too. My release, B”H, will set both of us free.”

After the visit, the NSA monitor who flew in from Washington to audit the visit shared his own thoughts about the “dynamic duo”, Esther and Jonathan. He has monitored Jonathan’s visits for the last 10 years or so, and is thoroughly familiar with the Pollard couple. He told us that he believes that were it not for Esther, the love of Jonathan’s life, it is not likely that he would have survived this long. “Esther is the air that he breathes! She is the blood in his veins!” is how he put it.

Even after 25 years of affliction and deprivation, we met a humble and elegant man, a most articulate man, who almost never said a word about himself. He did speak at length and with great animation of the “other love of his life”— the Land and People of Israel. He said that his beloved Rav, HaRav Mordechai Eliyahu, ztvk”l had pointed out to him that the two great loves in his life share the same initials “E. Y.” (Aleph, Yod); his wife, (E)sther (Y)ocheved and (E)retz (Y)israel, the land of Israel. This, said the Rav zt”l, who was a great Mekubal, is no coincidence!

The fate of the People of Israel and the safety of the Land of Israel disturb Jonathan’s peace more than any other subject. From the depths of Gehinom, deep inside the pit, he prays for us, even for those who forget to pray for him.

Even now, weeks after the visit, we are still not able to understand or to explain Jonathan’s freedom of spirit, his strength of belief, his endless hope, and his ability to be so full of light in an atmosphere so totally immersed in darkness. In spite of it all, he is a man of great loving-kindness and grace.

Similarly, we still have not yet found a way to write a blow by blow description of the visit that doesn’t diminish what an amazing person our brother Jonathan is. It hurts to know that this very, very precious soul has been buried alive in prison for so many years, and is still waiting for us to dig him out.

During the course of our conversation, Jonathan asked me about my goals for the future and I responded in detail. He turned to my wife and said, “Tzippi, all of Adi’s dreams depend on you! Your mission is to create the kind of loving, safe, secure, Jewish home that Adi needs so that he can have the peace of mind and the focus he needs to be able to devote his full heart and soul to fulfilling these lofty goals!” Tzippi, deeply touched, burst into tears. Smiling through her tears, she nodded in agreement.

Then Jonathan turned to me, and said, “And your job, Adi, is to honor and cherish the precious gift that HaShem gave you in your wife, Tzippi!”

“Adi,” he admonished me, “never forget, no matter what else you may do in your life, no matter what you may accomplish, without her, you are nothing!” His words, spoken from the heart, entered our hearts and touched us deeply.

Another thing which Jonathan said, totally blew us away.

It was when we spoke with him about Shlomit Peretz, the young widow of Golani Commander Eliraz Peretz, who was killed in Gaza on the eve of last Passover. Not only did Shlomit have to deal with the harsh blow that the death of her husband dealt her, but also with the news that their house (home to her four little orphans) was slated for destruction by the Government. When the Knesset Speaker came to pay her a condolence call, she did not use the opportunity to speak to him about herself or about saving her house. The only thing that she had to say to the Knesset Speaker Reuven Rivlin was a plea for Jonathan Pollard:

"One of the values that was very strong with Eliraz is that the wounded are not to be abandoned in the field," she told Rivlin. "I want to point out to you something about this value of not abandoning the wounded," she went on. "The State of Israel has someone who has been left wounded in the field for 25 years [Jonathan Pollard] and our hearts are torn. If he could be brought home, that would be a sort of consolation for us. I would see in that a continuation of Eliraz's path, that despite the fact that Eliraz is no longer with us physically - the things that he wanted to happen and in which he believed will be fulfilled."

Prior to our visit we had heard (from Esther) Jonathan’s response to Shlomit Peretz’s bravery. Jonathan had said he was humbled and amazed by the moral strength and courage of a woman, newly-widowed, who at such a difficult time, asked nothing for herself, but instead used the opportunity to do something to promote the values that her late husband, Eliraz, had lived and died for.

But now, as we were speaking, Jonathan added a few words that hit us like a ton of bricks. He said, “You know, sometimes I am really surprised to discover that there are still people who remember me…”

Jonathan’s words tore our hearts out! How could it be that we, as a nation, have failed so miserably to convey our caring and concern for this precious soul, who sacrificed his life and his freedom for us? How can we face ourselves knowing that we allowed him to feel so alone, so forgotten?

Friends, in practical terms, Jonathan’s release depends on the Government of Israel ending the abandonment and taking responsibility by implementing intensive action to return Jonathan home. But the responsibility for how we relate to Jonathan is ours and ours alone!

If after 25 years, Jonathan does not feel that there is an entire nation waiting for him over there, beyond the prison walls; a nation praying for him, doing everything it can, and waiting expectantly, impatiently for him, a nation that won’t give up on him until he is home – if Jonathan is still surprised to learn that someone here cares about him –

then we have to ask ourselves what this says about us.

What is more, if we were really concerned about the one who has paid and is paying such a heavy price for caring about us, then we would arouse ourselves to figure out the most effective way to cry out as one, demanding his release. If we would only show that we really care, that Jonathan really matters, the opportunity would arise and a solution can be found, and Jonathan’s life saved.

One thing is certain, if Jonathan were to begin receiving thousands of letters every week, from his concerned brothers and sisters in Israel, who write to tell him about the efforts that they are making for his release, he would no longer be so surprised that anyone remembers him. He would know it for certain.

Then perhaps we may, through our efforts, transform ourselves into a nation deserving of having this great man home with us.

The worst moment of our visit arrived when we had to say good-bye to Jonathan. If Jonathan were an ordinary man and an ordinary Jew, we would still be very, very sad to leave him there. How much sadder we were to turn our backs and have to walk away from a man who is a national treasure, a man who could make such a difference at home. Among other things, Jonathan has been working for years on projects for the creation of alternate sources of energy. He has plans and ideas to help Israel become self-sufficient in the areas of energy production and water purification and recycling. His greatest dream is to help Israel end its dependence on foreign sources of energy.

The visit room guard signaled, “time up” and we gathered up our belongings and our hearts, ready to leave. We were devastated by the thought of Jonathan returning to his tiny cell and his life in hell, but there was nothing we could do. We hugged him and said our good-byes, pledging to meet again soon in Jerusalem. With heavy, heavy hearts, we wiped the tears from our eyes and followed the NSA monitor out through the door marked “Exit”.

When will it be Jonathan’s turn to walk through that door?

By: Adi and Tzippi Ginsberg
(To read more about the plight of Jonathan Pollard, see http://www.JonathanPollard.org)

Fighting the feeling of "I deserve it"

This was my first abstinent Erev Tisha B'av. In many ways I found it harder then Erev Yom Tov. Even though the house was not full of yummy treats my mind was playing tricks on me. It kept saying "you are not eating tomorrow you deserve more food". My sponsor told me that my davening will make a bigger difference to how I feel then my eating. Daven to Hashem to give you an easy fast and it will make a bigger difference then how much you eat.
Baruch Hashem she was right. I made it through Erev Tisha B'av abstinent and I am feeling better then other years even though I did not binge yesterday.
On a rational level I can say that my body is used to getting by with less but I know that it is a gift from Hashem.

Tisha B'av is a time to face the natural consequences of our actions

The book of Eichah was written as a prophecy not as history. It was written to warn us about what happens when we stray from Hashem's path. While Hashem is full of love and compassion for us there are consequences to our actions. Tisha B'av is a day when we focus on the negative consequences of negative actions. Hashem wants us to do Teshuva and return from our aveiros. Hashem does not want to punish us. Hashem want to fill our lives with Brachah but if we do not do Teshuva we will face horrible consequenes.
From the Shiur "Tisha B'av-connecting to Kinos" by Rav Yitzchak Berkowitz on Aish Audio.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Preparing for the Yom Tov Tonight

I just spoke to a friend of mine.  She is in the middle of baking challah for tonight.  She believes that it is going to be a Yom Tov. 

May Hashem Bless us that she is right.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Rabbi Leib Kelemen on Tisha B'Av

Every relationship revolves around details.  When we want to improve our relationships with others we have to move out of our self and look at the other person's details.

If we want to have a relationship with Hashem we have to think about what is important to Hashem.  We have to realize that it is not important whether we understand why Hashem wants us to do things, we have to do what Hashem wants because we love Hashem and want to do his will.

Our goal in life is to have a proper relationship with Hashem.  We have to focus on Hashem's details, and find ways to build a stronger relationship with Hashem.

To prepare for Tisha B'Av we have to improve our relationship with others and with Hashem.

from a Shiur by Rabbi Leib Kelemen about Tisha B'Av

A powerful guest post from someone in a moment of despair

The Agony of Picking Up

Here I am, sitting on my bed

Miserable as ever, my head only sees red

Why did I pick up, where did i go wrong

What happened that made me turn to my favourite song

It all starts so innocently, it’s fine to have just one

Why do I have to be so strict, can’t i have a bit of fun?

But the fun isn’t fun at all, it leads me on a path
Where the sickness I feel is the only aftermath

The food is like an enticing trap that looks so very sweet

Smiles, laughter, beautiful scenes lure me in so deep

And then suddenly i find myself trapped inside

Feeling so deflated as i’m carried away by the tide

“I’m not so bad, I don’t need this” my mind begins to tell me

I’m not overweight so I can eat anything I fancy

But it’s not true, says my Yetzer Tov, everything has its price

My mind loses all its common sense after that one little slice

I wish I was a normal eater and didn’t have these crazy thoughts

But when I’m in program, I learn so much from all the lessons I’m taught

I remember when I thanked HaShem for having this disease

Or else I never would have come to learn from people like these

From each member of the fellowship, I have gained so much

Total acceptance, love and encouragement without any fuss

No judgements, no criticisms, sharing without fear

Phone calls to strangers who listen with open ears

I hope and daven that the day will come when I can taste for real

The beautiful life that I can lead when abstinence I feel

Thank you all for sharing, and for waiting patiently

Whilst I work my way, with HaShem’s help to return to sanity

You do not always succeed, but you always have to try.

by Reb Gutman Locks at Mystical Paths

Last week at the Kotel, I asked an elderly man to put on tefillin. He strongly refused.

I asked him, “When was the last time you put on tefillin?”

He smiled and proudly said, “Seventy-two years ago!” pushing aside any possibility of him putting them on again. He held out his arm to show me the fading numbers tattooed there. “1938,” he said. “It was the day of Kristallnacht. Do you know what Kristallnachtis?”

“Of course I do,” I told him.

“Two hundred and sixty seven synagogues were burned down in one night. They burned down our synagogue, too. My tefillin were burnt up, and I have never put them on again.” He said, telling me in no uncertain terms why he was not going to put them on.

“I have a friend who was in the camps, too,” I quickly said, “and he not only puts on tefillin today, but he even put them on others inside the camp!” I was trying to show him that he did not have to reject tefillin because of what those evil people did. “Do you want hear how he got the tefillin into the camp?”

“Yeah,” he said, strongly, “How did he get them in there?”

“His name is Laibel. Whenever he comes to Israel, he prays with our sunrise minyan. He also has numbers tattooed on his arm. “When we first met, he asked me, ‘What do you do around here?’

“Wanting to say something exciting, I said, ‘I put tefillin on people here at the Kotel.’

“‘Oh yeah?’ he said, ‘Well, I put tefillin on people in the death camp.’

“I stared at him; there was nothing I could say. I was him dumbfounded. I asked him, ‘How did you get the tefillin in there?’

"He looked me in the eye and said that they came to the ghetto and grabbed 137 young boys. He told me that only five of them got out of there alive, only five.

“He was thirteen-and-a half years old. When they grabbed him, he was wearing the high boots that his father had bought for him. He showed me with his hand that the boots came up almost to his knees. When he saw them coming, he stuffed his tefillin in the top of one boot and his prayer book in the other.

"They pushed the boys into a cattle car and drove them to the death camp. It was not far from the ghetto. When the train stopped, they slid open the side of the cattle car and immediately began pushing them toward the open door of the oven. The boys were frightened and crying out. They asked Laibel, ‘What should we do?’ He told them, ‘I’ll tell you what we’re going to do. We’re going to stand in rows five across and we’re going to march right into that oven singing “ani ma’amin . . . “(I believe in G-d). And they did just that. They stood in rows five across and started singing and marching right into the oven.

“The guards became so confused that they did not know what to do. They screamed, ‘You can’t do that! No one has ever done such a thing before. Stop it! Stop it at once! Here! Go over there to the showers instead.’

“They pushed them over to the showers. They made them take off all of their clothing and throw them into a pile in the middle of the floor. They made them empty out their shoes and the tefillin and prayer book fell out onto the pile.

“After the shower, when they were dressed in the camp clothes and were being pushed back past the pile of their clothes, he saw his tefillin and prayer book lying there. He wanted so badly to run over and pick them up, but there were terrifying guards standing right there so he couldn’t. He said to the boys, ‘Okay, I did something for you, so now you do something for me.’

“‘Whatever you want,’ they said. ‘You saved our lives.’

“He said, ‘When I give the signal, make a big fight with each other and start screaming out loud. Okay . . . Now!’ He whipped his arm in the air as if he was back at the camp giving them the signal. The boys started to fight and scream. The guards ran over and tried to pull them apart, but they wouldn’t stop fighting. In the confusion, he ran over and grabbed his tefillin and prayer book and hid them under his arms.

“He was in the barracks and he wanted to put on the tefillin. He was able to put the arm piece on without anyone seeing by pulling his sleeve over it, but how could he put on the head piece? There were evil guards all over the place. He opened the window and stuck his head outside so he could put on the head piece. A guard came by and screamed at him, ‘Who said you could open that window?’ He told him that he was sick and was throwing up, and if he made him close the window he would throw up inside, too. The guard left him there. And he looked me in the eye and said, ‘And I put tefillin on other men like that there, too.’ I started to cry and I kissed him on his yarmulke.
"The next day there was a soldier at the Kotel who wouldn’t put on tefillin. No matter what I said, he simply refused. Then I told him Laibel’s story, and he quickly said, ‘Okay, I’ll do it.’

“And you can do it, too” I said, as I gently slid the tefillin I was holding on his arm. He said the blessing and started to cry. We said the Shema, and he prayed for his family. He began to smile even while the tears were streaming down his face. A crowd gathered around all congratulating him on his overcoming all those years of rejection.


A Definition of Sinat Chinam from Rav Zev Leff

Don't think evil in your heart about your neighbor.  Don't look at your neighbor's shortcomings look at his strengths.
If there is no emes and Shalom there is no Beis Hamikdash.

from a Shiur on Kosher Tube:
67 - Rav Leff - Tisha B'av Night 5767 (2007 - Part 1 of 5)
http://koshertube.com/videos/index.php?option=com_seyret&Itemid=4&task=videodirectlink&id=2626

Kinna 22: Mass Suicide For Hashem's Name from Naaleh

Every year when I read the Kinos I could not understand why there are times when it is permitted to kill yourself Al Kiddush Hashem, and yet there are times when it is forbidden to kill yourself to shorten the suffering before death.  In this Shiur Rabbi Avishai David explains that if you are afraid that you will be unable to prevent yourself from commiting a grave sin, it is permitted to kill yourself to prevent it, but it is forbidden to kill yourself to prevent suffering.

from the Shiur: Kinna 22: Mass Suicide For Hashem's Name
Teacher: Rabbi Avishai David Class: Kinnot: Poems for Jerusalem
http://www.naaleh.com/viewclass/2627/single/

The reward for controlled eating.

While it is very difficult to fast, in many ways it is much harder to eat a controlled amount on a regular basis.  Once you start eating, it is very hard to stop.  When you avoid food completely you don't have to face food decisions.  For this reason, Hashem credits someone who eats in a controlled manner every day,  even more then someone who fasts.

From a Shiur by Rebbetzin Kalmonovitz "the true diet- Torah Haskafahs on food and Eating". Available from Shalheves

Friday, July 16, 2010

Learning from Shabbat Chazon

Since we don't mourn on Shabbos, Shabbat Chazon is a window of peace in the midst of the mourning period of the 9 days.  This gives us a vision "Chazon" of the importance of mourning, and the beauty of Shabbas.  By experiencing the contrast of the two extremes it gives of an appreciation of the importance of each.

Shabbat Chazon: Valuable Vision
Teacher: Mrs. Shira Smiles Class: Jerusalem, Echoes of Lament: Tisha B'Av and the Three Weeks
Added: July 20, 2009

Never underestimate the value of Tears.

 Tears are a very powerful tool.  When our tears come from the heart, they have a cleansing effect.  When we cry over our sins, they wash away our sins.  Even when a person does a big sin and does Teshuva there is still a stain on the person's neshamah.  True tears wash away this stain.

heard from a Shiur by Rebbitzin Kalmonovitz

"Thank you Hashem"

When you give someone  a gift you want to feel that they appreciate what you gave them.  Imagine if they never even said thank you once.  You would feel horrible.

Hashem gives us infinite gifts, yet we often forget to even say Thank You to Hashem.  We have to remember to say thank you all of the time for Hashem's gifts.  When we make ourselves busy with Mitzvah and learning Torah it is also a way of saying "Thank you Hashem"

heard in a Shiur by Rebbitzin Kalmonovitz

Rav Kessin: "Just Before Mashiach"

Into the second hour, he began to talk about 2010. And he brought up the incident in Imanuel.


“Imanuel was a mind-boggling event. …It was incredible.”

He began to give some background.

Imanuel was established about 25 years ago. They felt that they needed a prestigious rabbi to entice others to come to live there, so they asked a very important rav, Rabbi Yehoshua Moshe Aharonson, who had just retired from being Chief Rabbi of Petach Tiqva. He agreed and came to live among them. They had a dinner to celebrate the founding of the yishuv and he was the main speaker. Now, I’ll stop here for a moment and let you read what I found about Rabbi Aharonson.

Rav Yehoshua Moshe Aharonson of Petach Tikva (1910-1993). Born in Warsaw, he was was named rabbi of Sanok in 1937. In the winter of early 1940, he was appointed to the Beis Din of Warsaw. In March 1942, he was deported to the Konin labor camp, near Chelmno. The Konin camp was liquidated in the summer of 1943. Rabbi Aharonson was taken to Hohensalza, and afterwards to Auschwitz 3 (Buna). In 1945 he was transferred from Auschwitz to Buchenwald and then taken on a death march to Theresienstadt, where he was liberated. He subsequently moved to Eretz Israel, where he served as a rabbi in Petach Tikva and Emmanuel. His writings were collected in the book Alei Merorot.

Back to the story.

“He gets up and gives a speech that is mind-boggling. …He said something that shocked the whole audience. Here’s what he said and keep in mind this is twenty-five years ago, in 1985.”

According to Rabbi Kessin, someone who was present at the dinner recorded Rav Aharonson's words. The Rav explained how the last Jews to live in the Shomron were exiled with the ten tribes because of the sin of idolatry. And from then (2500 years ago) until now (1985), it never had another permanent settlement. He told the audience that some of those who were resettling the area were the neshamas of those who had been exiled and had returned to make a tikun.

"So what's the tikun? He says like this. There'll come a time that an enormous Kidush Hashem will come out of Imanuel. Enormous! And he's saying this in 1985. And that would be the tikun for the avoda zarah. Now, they're all sitting and listening to him and they're saying what in the world is he talking about? Imanuel? A dwarf? It's a little village. What kind of Kidush Hashem is he talking about because you need a MASSIVE Kidush Hashem to mae a tikun for the ten tribes.... And this is going to happen right before Mashiach! This is what he says and no one understood what he was talking about."

Rabbi Kessin then went on to explain in great detail why he believes that the recent battle between the Chareidi parents in Imanuel and the Israeli High Court was the "enormous Kidush Hashem" referred to by Rav Aharonson.

B'kitzur, the Court, acting against all reason and their own self-interests, pushed the issue as far as they did, knowing that it never was a matter of discrimination and they basicaly demanded that the Chareidim bow down to the court and obey it even if it contradicted Torah Law and the instructions of the rabbis.
The Chareidi parents said over and over again publicly that they would only obey Hashem and His Torah. They went to prison accompanied by 150,000 supporters made up of every group of Jews. Rabbi Kessin said, "And they did it b'simcha!" He said that it was an amazing display of achdut and acceptance of the Divine Will and a tremendous Kidush Hashem. And that it could be enough of a zechut for Am Yisrael to finally cancel the gezeirah of Tisha b'Av, especially since we have entered the Minchah period of the Creation Calendar.
"Bein ha'arba'im...yehiye ohr."

from the Blog Tomer Devorah
http://palmtreeofdeborah.blogspot.com/

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Using our tears to bring the Geulah.

We know that the source of all troubles and misery today is that we do not have the Bais Hamikdash.  Even though we know this with our brains, we tend to forget and mourn our own problems instead of the Bais Hamikdash.

This is a tremendous mistake. If we would reconnect to the source of our problems and use our tears and misery to show Hashem that we really want Geulah, Hashem will bring us closer to that time.

We can not waste our tears.  Tears are valuable.  There is a great piture in the sky collecting all tears that were shed for the Bais Hamikdash.  When those tears are all there and the piture is full, Moshiach will come.

heard in a Shiur by Rebbetzin Kalmanovitz

Why should my mourning make a difference?

What difference will our mourning for the Bais Hamikdash make when so many people before us- tremendous Gedolim mourned and davened for the Bais Hamikdash and it did not bring Moshiach.  Why should my mourning make a difference?

This is like a town where it is known for sure that there is a great treasure burried in a certain spot, so everyone does everything they can to dig for the treasure.  They bring tractors and shovels and they dig like mad.  But the treasure is much deeper then they think.  They keep digging but that generation all passes away before they reach the treasure.  Subsequint generations keep digging becasue they remember that there is a treasure there, but they also don't reach the treasure.  Now it is up to this generation to keep digging.  Some people think, "why bother digging, if the previous generations didn't find the treasure why should I think that I can find it?"

Little do they know that there is a thin layer of dirt that lies between them and the treasure.  They just have to try a little and they will get there.

We can't give up.  Moshiach is comming soon.  We all just have to keep davening and doing Mitzvahs and longing for the Bayis Shlishi.

Heard from a Shiur by Rebbetzin Kalmonovitz

A powerful mashal to help understand the Chorbun.

There was once a king who had a son who was terribly spoiled from all of the luxuries of the palace. The king knew that the only way to see that the prince would develop correctly would be to destroy the palace and send the prince out into the world. The king knew that all of his servants were waiting to grab the riches of the palace and gloat over the prince's tragedy. Since the king did not want to give the servants this nachas he announced that the palace was being knocked down to clear the way for a bigger and better palace. As all of the treasures were being removed, the bystanders and even the prince were shocked by the tremendous riches of the palace. Once it was being destroyed the prince finally understood what he lost but it was too late. The prince had to wander around the world waiting for the new palace to be built.

Needles to say, Klal Yisrael is the Prince, and the nations of the world are the servants.  Isn't it tragic that we had to be exiled to appreciate what we had.

heard from a Shiur by Rebbetzin Kalmonovitz

Building up our Olam Habah.

When you eat with the right kavanos in Olam Hazeh you are developing substance for Olam Habah.


From a Shiur by Rebbetzin Kalmonovitz "the true diet- Torah Haskafahs on food and Eating". Available from Shalheves

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

How much should I daven?

Better to daven a little with Kavanah-
then a lot without Kavanah.

from the Chofetz Chayim

The true meaning of the pain we feel on Tisha b'Av from R. Shimshon Pincus

We are not really lacking.  We have homes, we have children, etc.  But Hashem is lacking, and we are connected to Him.  We feel His pain, so to speak.  His children are scattered throughout the world.  Millions of them are so estranged that they do not even know He is their Father, Such Pain!  On Tisha b'Av we feel the pain of Hakadosh Baruch Hu.

from Gates of Emunah by R. Shimshon Pincus page 19

Monday, July 12, 2010

The blessings that come from eating Pas Shacharis

Our Rabonim bring down over 60 different blessings that come from eating Pas Shacharis.  We all look for sources of Bracha. Many people run to do this Segulah or that Segulah, yet they overlook a simple thing, like eating Pas Shacharis.


 Heard from Rebbetzin Vital Kalmanovitz

I asked her specifically if oatmeal counts as Pas Shacharis and she said yes.

Elevating all of our eating to the level of a Seudas Mitzvah

There are three kinds of eating. Eating at a Seudas Mitzvah, permissible eating, and forbidden eating. Eating at a Seudas Mitzvah is a tremendous source of Brachah.  We have the ability to transform all of our eating into  eating at a Seudas Mitzvah.  If we eat with the intention that we should have the strength to do Mitzvahs, and we say our Brachas with Kavanah, and we say a Dvar Torah or Learn during our meal, our eating is elevated to the level of a Seudas Mitzvah. 

Heard from a Shiur by Rebbetzin Vital Kalmanovitz

Hashgacha Pratis Story

Tonight at my OA meeting someone came up to me and told me that my article on Aish changed her life.  She had just come to the realization that she was incapable of controlling her food and had told her husband that "this is it, I am going to have my stomach stapled."  That day she read my article on Aish and instead of having surgery she is following the program.

Isn't it amazing the way that Hashem caused my article to be published just when she needed it.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Am I responbible for my spouse's sins?

This week I had the zechus to drive home Rebbeztin Kalmonovitz and we were discussing the fact the the neshamah of a husband and a wife are really one neshamah.  I asked her if this means that we are responsible for our spouse's sins, and what happens when we are reunited in shamayim.  She said that each person goes through a soul correction when they get to shamayim, then you are reunited with a purified neshamah.  This is a very powerful insight because it give us a framework to understand the extent of our responsibilities of ours spouse's actions.  It also means that we can't blame our spouse, and say whats the use.  We  will pay for only our own actions, but we will pay for them. 

She also mentioned that if a wife acts with sincerity and creates a warm and loving home with the intention of supporting her husband in learning, but he goes out and secretly does something else, she is rewarded as if she facilitated his learning.

She also added that when one is frustrated by something that there spouse does, it helps to think to yourself that inside of this person is a pure neshamah that I am going to be reunited with in the future.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Our words are binding.

When we say something, if we don't say Bli Neder, it takes on a very serious status.  If a person says, "I am never going to eat ice cream again" it takes on the status of a neder, and ice cream becomes traif to that person.  We have to be careful not to say something that we do not mean because it will effect us in a very negative way. from the Shiur on Naaleh: Parshat Matot & Masei: Science of Speech
Teacher: Mrs. Shira Smiles Class: Parsha for Our Lives 5770
 
When we commit our food to our sponsor, we are making all other food traif.

Eating in place of the Korbonos

It is well known that Tefilah is in place of the Korbonos today, but Achilah (eating) is also in place of the Korbonos.  Just like a person davens 3 times a day, they eat three times a day.  If a person eats correctly, for the needs of their body and not for desire, then a person is bringing a Korbon to Hashem.

from a Shiur about Eating by Rebbetzin Vital Kalmonovitz

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Why are things so difficult for the Jewish People right now.

Hashem is making things very difficult for us right now so that the only way that we can solve our problems is to unite together as one nation.  Achdus brings Geulah.


heard in a Shiur by Rebbetzin Kalmonovitz

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Examine your motivation to control your eating.

When you are controlling your eating it is important to examine your motivation.  You have to be careful that you are not trading one physical attraction for another, overeating for looking good.  You should have the following 2 motivations:
1) To be healthy
2) To learn spiritual self control.
from the Shiur:
Eating:Advice Series (Rabbi Nachman of Breslov) by Rabbi Yitzchack Kirzner
http://www.rabbikirzner.org/system/scripts/search.cgi?category=1

Get dressed each day as if you will be going before a Gadol Hador.

Recently I had a very difficult question arise that required going to ask a Shailah of a Gadol.  I was at work and had no time to go home and change.  I learned a very important lesson from that, "Get dressed each day as if you will be going before a Gadol Hador."  We never know what the future holds and we have to prepare ourselves to face any eventuality. 

For those of us on OA Tznius can be a very big Nisayon. When we  lose a lot of weight we want people to notice how good we look, but we don't want to do something wrong.  I shared this observation at a meeting last night and many people thanked me so I wanted to share it here  Every morning when you are ready to go out the door, look at yourself in the mirror and say, "If I have to go in front of a Gadol the way that I am dressed, will I be happy with the way that I am dressed?"

Monday, July 5, 2010

Learning from other's tragedy.

Today I went to the levayah of a 22 year old man, who died suddenly.  His father said that we should learn from this that we should not put off till tomorrow what we can do today, we don't know if tomorrow is coming.  He also said that we should all go home and hug our kids a little more.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Wonderful Video - Warning Kol Isha

The way that we eat can help us to climb closer to Hashem.

A person's table is like an altar to Hashem.  What does this mean?  We are able to break down our connection to the physical world through our eating.  We are able to get closer to Hashem by the way that we eat.  I can actually build myself spiritually by the way that I eat.  It is a wonderful thing that a person can eat and climb closer to Hashem.

from the Shiur: 
Eating:Advice Series (Rabbi Nachman of Breslov) by Rabbi Yitzchack Kirzner


http://www.rabbikirzner.org/system/scripts/search.cgi?category=1

Breaking free from being bonded to the physical world.

Rabbi Nachman says that when a person works on the physical discipline of controlling his eating, he is affecting himself, he is transcending a physical order of himself by his own choice. This will help him to transcend other physical nisyonos that come along later.  This comes from training himself to build up strength in breaking free from being bonded to the physical world.

We tend to think that by indulging ourselves we are controlling ourselves and calming ourselves down.  The reality is that by controlling our eating we are building a framework that will help us to  grow spiritually.

We have to eat to live, not live to eat.  We can not allow ourselves to indulge ourselves like an animal, our physical behavior is totally tied to our spiritual growth.
from the Shiur :
Eating:Advice Series (Rabbi Nachman of Breslov)  by Rabbi Yitzchack Kirzner
http://www.rabbikirzner.org/system/scripts/search.cgi?category=1

Making ourselves worthy of divine protecton.

When we think about Tisha B'Av and all of the tragedies that happened to the Jewish people, we have to stop thinking out what they did to us, and start thinking about what we did to ourselves.  If we are not worthy of divine protection, this is what is going to happen to us.
from the Shiur on Naaleh:
Parshat Pinchas: Elevating the Elevated Offering
Teacher: Mrs. Shira Smiles Class: Parsha for Our Lives 5770

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Filling ourselves with nonsense.

In previous generations people where always busy.  Just working to put bread on the table was a very full time occupation.  Yet, they managed to learn more Torah then.  Someone once asked the Chasam Sofer, "how much should a Yeshiva Buchur learn durring Bein Hazmanim ?"  His answer was, "like a Baal Habus, 7 or 8 hours a day."  Today we do not have these standards, a Talmud Chacham learns 7 or 8 hours a day.    We do not realize how much this effects us.  When a person doesn't fill himself up with Torah and learning, he becomes an Adam Chaser (a person who is lacking).  He winds up filling this void with nonsense.

from a Shiur by Rabbi Wachsman

What we learn from the Korban Tamid .

On the 17th of Tamuz we mourn many things, but among them is the last time we did the Daily offering.  The daily offering was a vital link between us and Hashem.  We learn from the Korban Tamid (the daily offering) that we have to be consistant in our avodas Hashem.  We have to serve Hashem with passion and fire every day.  We know that Tefilah is instead of the Korbonos, so we have to make our prayers consistent, and with passion.  Another way that we do something that is like a Korbon is to refrain from saying Loshon Hara. By doing this every day we can bring a consistent Korbon to Hashem.

from the Shiur on Naaleh: Parshat Pinchas: Elevating the Elevated Offering

Teacher: Mrs. Shira Smiles
Class: Parsha for Our Lives 5770
http://www.naaleh.com/viewclass/2598/single/
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